i'm-falling-for-these-two-so-hard

I’ve never loved a picture more than this. For one, how did I make my face even contort to that? Two, I only have two teeth. Just the two. I’m so glad I’ve been able to call Rachelle my best friend for four years, even if she says we’re not ;)

I saw him..

Last night for the first time in a year and a half. For the first time since everything happened. To be honest, seeing him was like a ton of bricks falling on my chest. It shocked my system. It made it hard to breathe and hard to move. It terrified me. It didn’t make any sense

The first thing he said to me was Oh hey, I didn’t recognize you.

He was standing two feet behind me and didn’t recognize me. The person who meant more to me than anything for so long was right there and didn’t recognize me.

That hurt. So much. More than it should.

Falling down

My life is falling down around me. Things were bad as of Friday. Then Saturday came and I thought it couldn’t get worse, but I was mistaken. Even worse news came in and I was hurt, but I still tried to stay positive. I still tried to tell myself that Sunday would have to be better. Once again I was wrong. I was woken up to hear even worse news than the previous two days. I was told something that meant my future is gone and everything I worked so hard towards now means nothing. My grades that I had to push myself for mean nothing. My friends that I made by overcoming my anxiety, well I may as well say goodbye to them. I just give up.

youtube

I’ve been listening to this song nonstop for the past week and a half. The first few lines really get to me. It’s been over at least two years and I still feel it, And I wholeheartedly do not believe I’ll ever be able to get over it. 

That, and its a hella good song. 

(via https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wTLsqCRIVc8)

When it went down, it was so hard to breathe
I gave up everything, and I fall, fall down to the floor
life was escaping me, I couldn’t find myself
‘til it was all lost, not anymore

I’m holding on to all the pieces of my heart’s debris, 'til it’s time
I’ll… I’ll pull it together and fix myself eventually, I know it’s mine..