youtube

Owen Pallett - Infernal Fantasy - Queen Elizabeth Hall London 3 Dec 14

youtube

KTVA Charlo Greene just quit on live TV after revealing she was the founder of the Alaska Cannabis Club.
Read the full article on Alaska Dispatch News: http://j.mp/adnakcannabisclub

It's my last day as a concierge, can you tell?

GUEST: Do you have a map?
CONCIERGE: Here you are.
GUEST: Okay. Where do we not go?
CONCIERGE: I’m sorry?
GUEST: Where do we not go.
CONCIERGE: What are you talking about?
GUEST: Unsafe areas. Circle them, please.

(The map is just of Manhattan and cuts off at about 110th Street. It’s among the richest real estate anywhere in the world. There’s nothing to circle.)

CONCIERGE: How about we start from where you want to go?
GUEST: Empire State, Statue of Liberty, helicopter ride.
CONCIERGE: All of those are in safe neighborhoods.
GUEST: But what about the unsafe ones?
CONCIERGE: You’re unlikely to run into any of them. Manhattan is an extremely safe place. There is nowhere between here and the places you mentioned that is known for having any kind of high crime. Just don’t leave your bag places and be cautious with your smart phone and you’ll be fine.
GUEST: Just circle them.
CONCIERGE: Again, any neighborhoods that are inherently unsafe are not on this map.
GUEST: Can you just circle the least safe areas of the areas that are on the map? We don’t want to run into any thugs.
CONCIERGE: (thinks for a moment) No.
GUEST: No?
CONCIERGE: Nope.
GUEST: Why not?
CONCIERGE: Have a great day!
GUEST: Unbelievable.
CONCIERGE: (mugs him)

Follow HMWHY on Twitter | Like HMWHY on Facebook

Please fire me. I asked to quit my job a week before I go to college, so that I can pack and spend holiday time with my family. My boss said ‘Read my lips: that’s what weekends are for.’ I now have one day to pack all of my belongings before departing for college in January.