i need to control myself ok

ok so i didnt expect daredevil to be so gruesome??

also is he ever gonna get a new outfit or is he just gonna wear the black mask on his face all the time

shherie replied to your postok but who needs studying when you can write…

Do I need to come over there and cut your internet off?? *has no idea where ‘there’ is* *am I talking to you or myself* *only 25% prep done for uni tomorrow oops*

noooo i’m almost done with the chapter! it’s not my fault it decided it needs to be over 5,000 words long! i’m innocent! and i did study (a little)! see you should cut off your own internet instead maybeXD 

Tbh I’m not as angry/upset as I probably should be

Mostly because like. If this WAS some asshole hacking my bank account, if this was something I really couldn’t control, then heck

For once that’s something that’s gone wrong in my life that wasn’t actually my fault. So that’s kind of a relief and I can just sit back and be like “ok this sucks but I didn’t bring this on myself and I don’t need to cripple myself with guilt”

Although I’m still afraid I massively fucked up somehow and I lost my bank account’s contents myself, hah
I have no idea how I could manage that and have been racking my brain all day. But I’m talented as fuck at fucking up so.

2

It all started with biscuits. When this family recipe was passed on to me I realized that many family foods were not being passed on to the younger generation. It is my goal to teach a few simple techniques to cooks younger than myself. This generation of people who often order out, or eat from a box rather than make it themselves need a few prompts because it is often easier and quicker to make it yourself. You can control the quality. You can control the ingredients. No excess fats and artificial additives. Some recipes I will alter in order to increase the healthful content, others I will leave untouched because sometimes a splurge is ok!  The above cookie could not be more simple or more pure. Flour, sugar,butter, eggs, leavening, vanilla, milk and lemon juice. It is not fancy, but I have never met a person who didn’t love them.  Stay tuned…. my recipes are mostly healthy homemade and ……

anonymous asked:

Please help me! I would like to lose about 10 kg but I don't know why would work for me right now. I don't know what's wrong with me but I'm really hungry and tired these days. I'm not stressed. Uni is chilled and I sleep enough. Like a lot :D I used to have food control over myself but I atm it's really hard. Can't say why. I feel like I could eat 24/7 Please help me !!

Woaaa! You need to take a break ,You said you sleep enough ,You must sleep 6-7 hours max , Try to drink a lot of water ,Go for a walk , You said you are hungry ,Thats OK Instead of taking regular meals ,Try to add fruits in you diet as much as possible ,This is when you will see the real miracle.

And Please Start exercising. 

anonymous asked:

Jen!! i feel like i need to share this with someone, I'm starting this new diet after suffering from an eating disorder 3 years ago but i have gained a lot of weight this last year (20+ pounds), i need to lose >10 pounds but I'm scared to go overboard like last time, idk if i can control myself :/

get someone who u can be super accountable with and will watch u to make sure u are ok!! im proud of u for kicking that disorder and for doing things that make u happy ily 💞

Lowkey so upset with how low functioning I’ve been but I gotta remember that depression and anxiety don’t care that I have four papers and three meetings and five books to read, mental illness doesn’t care that I have a lot of good friends and a good life, I’ve just gotta find a way to remember that I can’t control how shitty it’s making me feel and it’s ok for me to take things one at a time because I can’t support throwing myself at my workload like I usually do when I’m not experiencing such a low

What’s today? Day five?

Caught myself right in the middle of losing control of myself regarding food yesterday. I managed to reel myself in but it was getting serious pretty fast (alternating bites of stuffing and frosting like some sort of animal.) I let myself take a bite of the baby I nanny’s grilled cheese and I think that was the catalyst. No random bites!

Other than that it’s been going OK. I have plans to go out tomorrow so I need to go for a run for the first time since February. I have a month to get back into running shape before Glasgow. It is imperative that I do my 10k loop when I’m there! It is my favorite place to run in the world!

Update:

This week has been sad. Lots of non-vivid flashbacks. A book I was reading has got me thinking. ‘today I’m alice’ by Alice Jameson. Absolutely incredible book, if you get time please read it. I just need someone to talk to. I wish that Jenks would still talk to me. She understood me. She understood when my head was too loud and I couldn’t head myself over the noise.
I miss when people would understand and love me, tell me that everything was ok and there would be no more suffering.
I keep wanting to starve myself but I have control right now. It’s okay. I feel fat and disgusting but I have to deal with that. I have put on weight. I have to deal with that. I am ugly and there is nothing I can do. I feel inferior and I just have to deal with it.
I’m okay. I’m not suicidal, I don’t have any overwhelming urge to hurt myself. That’s a first for me. This year I have had more control over that. Of course I’ve thought about it but I’ve come to realise now that neither of those are viable options.
No one listens to me anymore. I’m not whining, it’s a fact. I have to accept that. Sometimes you have to bury the past because no one has time to listen to you surface your demons.
I’ll have to one day.
They’re eating me alive.

Deep Breaths

As I go through the motions of the big life decisions I have made recently I am faced with a version of myself that needs upgrading (enter Doctor Who joke here). As humans we all experience a range of emotions– jealousy, worry, anxiety, sadness. I think it can be healthy to experience such emotions, to an extent, because avoiding them only leads to bigger problems. However, it can be quite hard to control such emotions when in the moment. We are, or should I say, I am, so good at getting into my head and convincing myself of the fallacies I’ve created. This is the part of me that I am going to work on. I am tired of being my own worst enemy at times. Even if my hunches may be right in some scenarios I need to be ok with letting them go and moving forward. Life is messy but I know who I want to be. Just the thought alone of the person I want to become is enough to refocus and -be- that person. 

*sigh*


some things i’ve learned about life/myself lately:

i need a lot more time to recharge than i realized before moving in with someone, its good to have ambition but not good to feel like you’re entitled, you don’t need to have it all figured out by your mid-twenties (whatever the fuck having it all figured out even means), we are all constantly growing in different ways, remember to stay focused on what makes you happy not what the world thinks you should be doing, i don’t have an innate sense of confidence.. it takes me a great deal of time to ground myself and realize i’m ok being me, its really important to always try, i have control over so much less than i often think - its good to just chill sometimes, i have to laugh or cry or scream every day or i’ll lose my sanity, brent has made me a better person, you’re not weak if you let people help you, i’m learning to love myself as a whole person rather than segments and its really hard but having a supportive partner makes a world of difference, a degree doesn’t make you smarter or better than anyone else and if you think it does you need to check your elitist privilege at the door, use what you know to help others and positively impact as many things as you can, be brutally honest with yourself when you don’t want to, listen to your fucking body your emotions will guide you and let you know if you’re heading down the wrong path, you can’t take pity on yourself so if you’re feeling sad do something about it or surround yourself with someone who will give you a hug or a shake or a kick in the ass (whatever it is your really need), swearing and hip hop help me harness my masculine energy, balance is the best thing - if you’re lacking it do 6 sun salutations, hold mountain pose for 4 breaths and then get your tree pose on, lastly: LET GO, if you can’t move forward it’s cuz you’re still looking back.

ignore pls lmao

im a rlly bad person. like i get jealous way too easily. i have this rlly good friend ok. and like, i know theyre allowed to have other friends and people who admire them, ofc, but my brain is the most fucked up system you will ever experience. im just the most annoying and bitchy person EVER. i always need attention. i need to be the center of a persons attention. and if i see anyone else like complimenting that one person “too much” i will immediately LOATH them. sometimes im just so terrified of being forgotten or replaced. but its getting out of control. im becoming overly-attached. im p concerned about myself because this has destroyed relationships ive had with others. im just such a shitty person and everyone thinks im this patient, understanding little fairy when im on the brink of tears when someone doesnt reply in at least 5 min. i get so upset and i just end up turning into this grey blob. i dont wanna hurt this person or anyone, really. i love my friends dearly but i feel like we wont last long if i keep on acting like this.

I could use some prayers please.
I’ve always had that “don’t be sad because it could be worse” mentality but that doesn’t always work. Everything happens for a reason but sometimes people just need to be sad about things and that’s ok! Today is my day. Although I am thankful for a wonderful husband who is always there for me and the health of myself and my family, sometimes you just have to feel those feelings caused by other people and the things they do that you have no control over. #ThisTooShallPass

I don’t like pictures… When Someone asks me I freak and say no. It’s not because I’m a selfish whinging bitch it’s because I feel like I look ugly it’s going to be a bad picture I need to be in control of it so it turns out nice I can’t help it ok I don’t want you to take my picture I’d rather you just leave me alone anything but me ok :(

#pictures #anxiety #myself # confidence?

anonymous asked:

I saw your post on not wanting to be alive, and I just want to say that you are an amazing person. Don't let anyone tell you you're not. People only make other people feel bad about themselves so they can fill the holes in their pathetic lives... Just please remember that. If you need a reason to stay alive, let me be that reason, please. I love you! <3 Stay strong. :)

ok thanks but I am not amazing I’m a terrible person. Im one of those people who hurt and bring people down because I am hurt and angry idk why I can’t control myself but just be bitter to people all the time ugh

anonymous asked:

I need help: I've been suffering from anxiety since 2 years and have suffered from a bit of depression after my mother died nearly 3 years ago. I have periods of 2-3 weeks where I'm ok, and then periods where I feel bad again. But lately I do not have anxiety or panic attacks anymore, during the bad periods I feel like i'm loosing control. Sometimes I can't control my mind and I make myself do strange thing, like suddenly moving my legs or head or saying things out loud that i never would pt. 1

say otherwise. It is really strange bc I can control myself but I can’t force myself do to so. What is going on? And should I tell my therapist? Part 2

Definitely tell your therapist what’s going on. I can’t tell you what’s wrong or diagnose anything, but your therapist can, they will know how to help. The next session you have with your therapist, tell them exactly what is happening to you. Don’t lie or under-exaggerate anything, be completely honest and you’ll get better help and advice. However, I’m sure you’ll be fine sweetheart, let us know how it goes and if there is anything we can do to help later on

Hannah x

anonymous asked:

imsorry to be invasive but i saw ur post and couldnt control myself. ur body is wonderful and doesnt need changing but if u feel that it does, purging ur stomach isnt a good way to lose weight. try going for long walks and eating smaller portions. throwing up all ur meals will damage ur throat and is also highly ineffective for losing weight as most of the caloric intake from food is absorbed and digested before u have the opportunity to purge. sorryagain for contacting ik it was a personal post

it’s ok and thank you but I just don’t care, I’ve been doing this for years now

#emetophobia #ed #food

It Was the Best of Times, It Was the Worst of Times

Tomorrow is my last day at Radio Free Europe (hopefully I’ll have some pictures to post) and I am so sad that such an amazing opportunity is coming to an end. Sitting in on the editorial board meetings every morning, learning about the scary and amazing things going on in the world has been such a blessing. Seeing my own writing published on the website was indescribable. I have been so inspired by everything that the company does and it has made me hope that one day I will have the opportunity to be in such a cool place again.

Getting the internship was purely through luck and perseverance and it was a reminder to me that many times life is out of your control, sometimes bad and sometimes great things happen when you are least expecting them. With situations like internships I feel the need to constantly remind myself that things happen for a reason and that everything will be ok in the end.

Recently (well actually since last summer really) I have been in the business of applying for summer internships at home. The process is amazingly frustrating, as I know so many of my peers can attest to as well. I have applied to probably between 30-50 internships (this includes writing cover letters, filling out questionnaires, researching interesting positions etc.). The majority of internships that I take the time to apply to do not even bother to respond at all, and of the few that do, it is usually highly unlikely that it amounts to anything more than maybe a SKYPE interview.

I think for me it brings to light the difficulties faced by my generation. I have found many articles lately on the mounting loans students have taken on, the lack of jobs (and even UNPAID internships) and the culture of needing to constantly push on to the next position and build up one’s experience. I have so many friends who have all faced the same frustrations of just trying to find something to do for the summer that involves gaining knowledge and maybe even making a few dollars to save up for the coming year. It is a shame to me to see so many people who have so much to offer not being given the time of day. It is of course not anything personal towards individuals, but there is so much competition it can be hard to stand out or be given a chance.

I’m finally cementing down my final summer plan, but the amount of effort that it takes to get even a single offer seems crazy to me. In order to keep from letting it all drive me totally mad I have to keep in mind that what is meant to be will happen, and everything else isn’t worth worrying over. I’ve been so lucky to already have some great learning experiences and there will always be another one somewhere down the road.

“He could be your perfect match,” Merlin says calmly. “He could be your only match. His scores are excellent. It’s a chance we can’t pass up, Harry.”

“I made a promise to his father,” Harry says, when the elevator rattles to a stop on the top floor, opening its automated doors to the LOCCENT mission control room.

“Then keep it,” Merlin says.

HOW TO SHUT UP A MANPAIN PRESENTED BY MARSHAL MERLIN ok i am little crying so i need to make myself laugh now