Damon And Elena: I See Nothing Worse Than To Sail This Universe Without You

Elena: “It was… It was the most selfless that he’s ever been. And in that moment, I loved him.” 6x02

Remember when I said 5x16 was my all-time favorite episode of TVD and I was certain nothing could ever top it?

I spoke too soon. ‘Yellow Ledbetter’ just fucking topped it. 

This episode. Is. AMAZING.

I’ve watched it eight times. I am still in tears. I am still speechless. 

It was everything I never even knew I wanted. Julie and Caroline are exceeding my expectations every week, wielding story line magic that leaves me in mutual awe and anguish. It’s like an emotional conspiracy. 

They have somehow managed to turn this season into the earth-shattering wake up call the fandom has needed for years. They are finally coming out of the shadows and confirming things those of us who can read between the lines have known since season four, and some even sooner than that. 

And we’re only two episodes in. 

Like I said. AMAZING. 

So I’m going to dissect it all. Every second. 

Starting with the return (figuratively that is) of the real Damon.

“Well I feel a fang so I’m still a vampire. Either I’m a dead vampire or Mystic Falls is no longer magic free.”

“Look.”

“I definitely blew that up about an hour ago.”

I’ve never been so happy to hear his sass. Five months without it was just five months too long. 

And even though Damon’s only interactions this episode are with Bonnie, the tone of the show has thankfully shifted to its natural state again now that he has taken back his regular amount of screen time. 

Watching him dance and make pancakes and rag on Bonnie was a breathe of fresh air in this otherwise agonizing installment of genius. 

Seriously, the amount of endgame angst in this episode was out of control. I can’t even fit it all in one post. 

I fucking loved it. 

Because this is TVD at its best. 

“It’s been four months. It’s time for me to let go.”

“You gonna erase Bonnie from your head too?”

“Missing Bonnie makes me sad Jer. Missing Damon makes me dangerous.”

That last line makes my head spin. 

“Missing Damon makes me dangerous.”

Consider the implications of this statement.

This girl has lost EVERYONE. All of her family, her friends and now the love of her immortal life. She’s no stranger to grief and the emotional toll it takes on your sanity. She’s more familiar with it than any twenty year old woman ever should be. 

But she’s never reacted to a death this way. With voluntary drug use and months of denial and the fear of lifelong despair driving her to alter portions of her memory just to carry on.

Damon’s death has brought a part of Elena to the surface that we’ve always known existed, but that she has rarely let anyone around her see. The closest she ever came to truly indulging the darkness that she bears within her was when she lost her brother.

And even then, that wasn’t an Elena with her switch firmly in place. That was no humanity Elena snapping necks and verbally assaulting the people around her. 

This Elena still has her humanity. Barely. This Elena is feeling every ounce of torment that has come from losing Damon. 

This Elena has been driven to darkness BECAUSE of what she feels rather than what she isn’t feeling. That’s the difference between Damon’s death and everyone else’s. 

“Missing Damon makes me dangerous.”

She’s a literal loose canon, capable of snapping in the blink of an eye. 

It’s the weight of the sorrow she feels for the loss of Damon and their forever that is letting her inner monster out of its cage. 

She isn’t behaving like herself because she can’t be herself without Damon. She isn’t Elena anymore now that he isn’t with her. 

He took too much with him. Not just their future and their happiness and the comfort that comes from his presence, but her sanity. Her strength. Her belief in the positive potential of eternity. 

There’s a reason drug-using Elena went back to school and actively pursued a major and functioned day to day like a normal person. 

That Elena was seeing Damon. Even though it wasn’t the real him, it was enough to fill the empty spaces within her left behind by his death.

It was seeing him, telling him about her day, feeling him hug her or hold her hand. That’s what kept her going, what allowed her to live her life as though nothing had happened. Because in her mind, hallucination Damon was providing the support she derives from the real Damon.

That was the entire purpose of the drugs. That was what she was really addicted too. The feelings of safety and understanding and possibility that spring up when she’s around Damon. 

She could feasibly have existed in that fragile reality for years without any issue at all if the herbs didn’t make her too thirsty to control her bloodlust. But they do.

So now her support system is truly gone. Both the real Damon and hallucination Damon are lost to her, which means she has nothing that provides any incentive to keep on living. Especially not forever.

Now she’s on a knife edge, walking a genuinely fine line between madness and hopelessness.

If she wants to fight the crushing realization of how vast and empty her eternity is now that Damon is gone, she has to continue taking those drugs and hallucinating him.

But they make her too reckless, and she’s too naturally compassionate. So that’s not an option.

Which leaves letting it all in, accepting Damon is gone forever. Something that will drown her in so much loneliness, emptiness and hopelessness, she wouldn’t survive the week. No one can live forever without something to live for. 

And it’s riding that line that makes her dangerous. 

She’s not fucking around. She knows she’d be capable of anything, even terrible things, if she fell into either abyss. The abyss of denial puts others’ lives at risk. The abyss of despair puts her life in jeopardy.

She can’t afford to fall. It would cause death and destruction all around if she did. 

That means she has no choice here. 

Because she isn’t capable of letting Damon go on her own, she has to be compelled to do it. 

That’s how powerful her feelings for him really are. They can’t be boxed away, compartmentalized, sidelined for the sake of other people, or herself. Even for her own survival, her mind and heart won’t let her move on from him. 

He holds too much sway over her, even in death. He provided her with things she didn’t dare to dream of, gave her a life and a love that people write novels about, and she knows it was something she could only find with him. That life and that love were unique to them.

It could never be duplicated. She will never love like this again. She didn’t even love like this with Stefan. 

So does she continue to live walking this tightrope between insanity and despondency, hoping she can happen upon something that will keep her from falling over the edge?

Or does she erase it all and start over, hoping she can find someone else to fill her eternity?

“Do you have doubts about this?”

“Yes. But I know I have to do this.”

“Are you afraid?”

“More sad than afraid.”

“Why sad?”

“Because I don’t wanna stop loving him.”

“Do you trust me to be digging around in your mind?”

“I trust you completely.”

“Okay. Well then let’s get started. Who is Damon Salvatore?”

“He was my boyfriend. I loved him. And he died.”

“And when did you first meet him?”

“I was in high school.”

“And what was he like?”

“There was something different about him. Dangerous. But not in a way that scared me. He was exciting.”

“And how did he make you feel?”

“Like anything was possible.”

“You had a nice moment on a road with a stranger. But that’s all he was. A stranger.”

“Stranger. Two people passing in the night.”

Let’s just talk for a second about the fact that there weren’t ANY new scenes between Damon and Elena in this episode, yet this is the most Delena-centric forty-two minutes of the entire series. 

Seriously, what kind of couple is so central to a story that an entire episode is dedicated to breaking down the most relevant milestones of their courtship just to reveal the moment one of them fell in love with the other?

The endgame couple. Obviously. 

“Are you afraid?”

“More sad than afraid.”

“Why sad?”

“Because I don’t wanna stop loving him.”

I can’t believe people are actually questioning her choice to have her memory reconfigured.

She isn’t doing this because she wants too. If she had it her way, she would love him everyday for the rest of her eternal life. 

That was the plan, after all. To love him forever. 

But that involved being with him too. Loving someone is easy when they’re around to be loved.

And he isn’t.

What did you expect her to do? She doesn’t think she’s ever going to see him again. She can’t live like that, in love with a man that isn’t there to be loved anymore. 

It would ruin her. 

She’s doing this so she can attempt to carry on. Because living with her recollections of him and their relationship is too much. She can’t handle it.

It’s BECAUSE of how much she loves Damon that she can’t live forever with just the memory of him. That isn’t enough. 

“And when did you first meet him?”

“I was in high school.”

“And what was he like?”

“There was something different about him. Dangerous. But not in a way that scared me. He was exciting.”

“And how did he make you feel?”

“Like anything was possible.”

I cannot believe they went here with this. That they’re discussing it so blatantly, without reserve. 

Damon and Elena’s first meeting hasn’t been spoken of like this, ever. For such a life-altering (and series-altering) moment, it is never talked about. Not even by them. 

Yet here’s Elena, letting us into her sixteen year old self’s head, showing us her first meeting with Damon from her perspective.

I feel like I waited my entire life to hear her dissect her memories of Damon like this. 

“There was something different about him. Dangerous. But not in a way that scared me. He was exciting.”

The fact that human Elena, completely unaware of the supernatural at the time, picked up on this is just incredible. 

She saw Damon for exactly what he was after being around him for two minutes. 

She recognized how unlike other people he is. She sensed the natural otherworldly allure that he carries. But she understood that his dangerous aura didn’t come from being the monster everyone believed him to be. 

Damon is dangerous because he’s unpredictable. Untamable and impulsive, rebellious to the core.

Damon is his own man. He doesn’t try to be like others or live up to what people expect from him. He’s one of a kind. A hero wearing the mask of a villain.

That’s what makes him dangerous. But that isn’t the kind of danger that would scare someone like Elena, who perceived it correctly rather than assuming the worst. 

The danger Damon emanated excited her because it was an aura she herself wanted to carry. The ability to live beyond the expectations of others. To be her own person and live her own life, everyone else be damned. 

It wasn’t just Damon’s words that night that sparked her interest in the life he painted. A life filled with all-consuming love, passion, adventure and danger. 

It was the man himself. He was the embodiment of everything he told her she wanted. 

Their first meeting was so much more than just a chance encounter on an abandoned road. 

It was foreshadowing. Setting the stage for what they would share someday.

And now we know, by Elena’s own admission, that she sensed it from that moment. That those things he told her she wanted were things she knew she would find with him.

So, compulsion or not, she chased after it, never stopping until she found it. 

“And how did he make you feel?”

“Like anything was possible.”

No one makes Elena feel like anything is possible. No one she has ever, or will ever know can make the tragedy of her life seem hopeful. No one has ever shone a light at the end of Elena’s persistently dark tunnel.

Except Damon.

We are talking about a girl who spent sixteen years of her life in a small town, never knowing she was magically fated for greater things and endless horrors, believing she might end up stuck in Mystic Falls as the housewife of her childhood friend. 

How fucking boring. She is so much better than that.

And Damon opened her eyes to that truth.

She may have believed it was her parents’ death that finally prompted her to cut the cord with Matt but I think we know that wasn’t the case.

It was Damon. It was his compulsion.

“I want you to get everything you’re looking for.”

He literally compelled her to start hunting down what she wanted for her life. What she really wanted, not what people told her she wanted. He freed her mind from the constraints of expectation just a little, just enough to open her up to the bigger things she was looking for. 

That’s part of what drew her to Stefan. He was an interesting new element with a closeted dark past. Exactly what the doctor prescribed.

Only he wasn’t. He just appeared that way at first. 

But the more she got to know him, the more dissatisfied she became with their relationship and their love. It still wasn’t enough.

Which is why she fell in love with Damon. And why it happened when she was with Stefan.

She was still human. The compulsion was still in effect. Her mind was searching for those elusive aspects of love and happiness that she craved deep down. 

And Damon was it. The one who could give her exactly what she’d always wanted.

The one who made her feel like anything was possible from the moment they met.  

“It was the Miss Mystic Falls pageant. Stefan was supposed to be my escort but he bailed on me. Damon stepped in. He saved me from being embarrassed in front of everyone. He took my arm and led me out with the rest of the girls and all their dates and we danced. I remember that was the first time that I felt it.”

“Felt what?”

“How sexy he was. I’d never let myself notice until then. I mean obviously I knew that he was attractive but I didn’t wanna see him that way.”

“You went down the stairs and no one was there.”

“I was embarrassed but I got over it.”

“Who is Damon Salvatore?”

“He was my boyfriend, I loved him and he died. Ric I hate this. How much longer is it gonna take?”

“Until we find that signature moment. The moment you knew you loved him.”

“Well that’s easy. It was after I found out about the sire bond. Everyone kept telling me that my feelings weren’t real but I knew that they were.”

“Okay your feelings were because of the sire bond, who is Damon Salvatore?”

“He was my boyfriend-“

“That’s not it. Dig deeper. Earlier.”

“I don’t know. Maybe it was when we spent the night at the motel together. I wasn’t back together with Stefan yet and I remember when I was laying in bed with him all I could think about was kissing him. I wanted to kiss him so badly.”

“No one kissed anyone, who is Damon Salvatore?”

“He was my boyfriend-“

“That’s not it, next.”

“I don’t know Ric!”

“Well think about it Elena. Think about that moment where you knew this person was somebody that you had feelings for, that you loved, and that you could see those feelings going on forever. Trust me you never forget.”

“Maybe we should just forget about this entire thing. It was a stupid idea, I can’t do this anymore alright? I’m done. Sorry.”

Holy. Fucking. Shit.

I’m still wondering how this even happened. Any of it. It’s like a dream.

Or fanfiction.

I mean jedi master Julie Plec just turned the entire show upside down and sideways. She just carried out the ultimate mind fuck.

She just firebombed every single argument anyone has ever tried to use against how and why Damon and Elena fell in love. 

In twenty years of living I’ve never felt more validated. 

“It was the Miss Mystic Falls pageant. Stefan was supposed to be my escort but he bailed on me. Damon stepped in. He saved me from being embarrassed in front of everyone. He took my arm and led me out with the rest of the girls and all their dates and we danced. I remember that was the first time that I felt it.”

“Felt what?”

“How sexy he was. I’d never let myself notice until then. I mean obviously I knew that he was attractive but I didn’t wanna see him that way.”

I swear to every god in every religion that I blacked out for a second when she called Damon sexy. 

And so matter of fact, like it was some irrefutable law of the universe. 

That’s something else they’ve just never addressed. 

It’s no secret Damon is the uncontested sex god of the show. He was cast in that light on purpose. It fit perfectly with everything else about him, from his innate passion as a person to his predilection for disaster in the heat of the moment.

It was part of what made him dangerous. He carried genuine sexual prowess, differently and more potently than any of the other characters. It set him apart instantly, made it so you could never look at him as anything other than an adult and mature element in this otherwise teen show. 

But it’s an aspect of him that has never been directly spoken of by Elena. While she has casually and sarcastically mentioned his taste for women, she’s never admitted to how his allure affects her. 

Of course she was attracted to him. That was a given. 

She’s just never said so. Never acknowledged her physical desire for him verbally. 

And it’s just such a stroke of beauty and genius that the first time she internally felt the power of his sex appeal was during the Miss Mystic Falls Pageant.

Not only does it parallel too and explain why the pageant the following year became the impetus for Damon and Elena’s first time, it provides some glorious juxtaposition for them.

It’s widely believed that the pageant in season one is when Damon really fell in love with Elena. It was his ‘signature moment,’ to use Alaric’s term. 

Now we know that while Damon was feeling love, Elena was experiencing lust. That in this moment of chivalry that not just confirmed the beginnings of his character development and the presence of his feelings for her, Elena started to open her eyes to him romantically. 

Love begins with attraction in some form. Without it, there’s no basis for the feelings at all. 

That’s not to say the attraction has to be physical. Mental or emotional attraction works just as well. 

But while Elena was in the early stages of her relationship with Stefan those avenues were not open to her. She wouldn’t allow for a mental or emotional attraction to Damon while she was in love with his brother. 

Physical attraction is not the same. It’s more natural and virtually harmless if you can keep the feelings in check. It was the easiest barrier to break down between Damon and Elena when she was so dead set on Stefan.

Such a simple yet monumental epiphany during a moment she was supposed to be sharing with her boyfriend, not his brother. 

“It was the Miss Mystic Falls pageant. Stefan was supposed to be my escort but he bailed on me. Damon stepped in. He saved me from being embarrassed in front of everyone. He took my arm and led me out with the rest of the girls and all their dates and we danced. I remember that was the first time that I felt it.”

Again, the validation I feel is never-ending. 

I’ve already written about 1x19, and much of the focus is on how the dance impacted Damon and his season one development. How it was that defining moment for him, the moment he fell in love with the right doppelgänger. It is by far one of his most relevant turning points as a character.

But it has always held as much significance for Elena as it did for Damon. Just for a different reason.

The dance marked the very first time Damon stepped up for Elena. Really stepped up, in a time when she had been abandoned by her boyfriend. 

Although something like momentary embarrassment is hardly taxing on someone whose suffered as Elena Gilbert has, Damon stepping in for Stefan stuck with her. It was a small example of everything he would eventually do for her on a larger scale. 

He’s always there for her in a moment of need. Even something as trivial as being the replacement escort at a pageant was memorable to her because of what it represents.

His commitment. 

He’s committed to her, to being there for her. He didn’t have to share that dance with her, to make up for his brother’s absence. 

But he did. And he didn’t think twice about it either. 

We’ve marveled for seasons now over that dance, over the look they share when she comes down the stairs, but now we know.

Elena marveled too. She understands that dance was more than just a dance. It was more than just her recognizing how deliriously good-looking he is. 

It was her looking at him for the first time as someone she could count on. 

The circumstances were not life-threatening by any means but Stefan still dropped the ball. He bailed when she’d already had reservations about participating in the first place. 

But Damon turned it around for her, making at least part of the dance something positive to remember. A fond memory laced with striking new feelings of forbidden desire for a man who proved he would and could be her strength in a time of crisis. 

Which is why she developed an instinct to turn to him for help when she was in trouble instead of relying on Stefan. Because Damon has shown time and again that he will stick by her in every situation, no matter how small. 

A feat his brother never accomplished.

“Until we find that signature moment. The moment you knew you loved him.”

“Well that’s easy. It was after I found out about the sire bond. Everyone kept telling me that my feelings weren’t real but I knew that they were.”

“Okay your feelings were because of the sire bond, who is Damon Salvatore?”

“He was my boyfriend-“

“That’s not it. Dig deeper. Earlier.”

Let’s just rejoice that the writers took this opportunity to shoot the sire bond argument directly in the face.

Don’t get me wrong. I’ve always loved the sire bond story arc. It’s brilliant.

But it has been the source of all contention for this ship for two seasons now. The ignorant liked to believe that Elena never loved Damon at all while she was human, that the sire bond created her feelings out of thin air. The faithless worried it was a blight on Delena’s history, confirmation that their love was hindered by supernatural influence and therefore no stronger than Stelena’s. 

And Julie just gave them all the middle finger, verifying what anyone who was paying attention has known all along.

The sire bond had nothing to do with how Elena fell in love with Damon. It was a product of her feelings for him, not the cause. 

“Until we find that signature moment. The moment you knew you loved him.”

“Well that’s easy. It was after I found out about the sire bond. Everyone kept telling me that my feelings weren’t real but I knew that they were.”

A little more validation since this episode is apparently an early Christmas present for me. 

Elena never doubted that what she was feeling for Damon was real. She knew the sire bond didn’t manufacture her feelings. She knew they’d been there when she died on that bridge.

But she’d spent so long in denial about Damon that no one believed her. She had to maintain her certainty herself without any support from anyone else. 

And she confronted that challenge head on.

You heard her. She KNEW they were real. She didn’t question her love for Damon in the slightest.

Because the sire bond was never about making Elena fall in love with Damon. She crossed that bridge months before she transitioned. 

The sire bond was always about breaking down the last of Elena’s barriers, allowing her to embrace the person she wanted to be and who she wanted to be with. It was simply the incentive she needed to harness that dangerous allure she found exciting about Damon the night they met. 

That was the largest criticism of her once she became a vampire. She was too much like Damon.

But it had nothing to do with her temper or her feeding habits. 

It was all about the mask she finally shed, the rebellious side of her that she accepted for the first time. 

Her friends and Stefan had never seen her let go completely, behave without any reservations and make choices without fear of what others might think. So they assumed her choices as a vampire - breaking up with Stefan, being with Damon, drinking human blood, killing to defend the people she loves - were choices Damon had made for her through the sire bond.

They could never have known that all the sire bond did was free the real Elena from her prison of expectation. It ramped her maturity up a dozen notches, giving her that final shove into adulthood that she’d been heading towards since the show began. 

And the real Elena is dangerous. Which isn’t something you would expect from the compassionate human girl who lost her parents and fell in love with the supposedly tamer Salvatore. 

The real Elena will kill to protect the people she loves. She will drink human blood because as long as she controls the thirst there’s no reason to detract from her supernatural strength and senses by drinking from animals. She will be with Damon because he’s the brother she loves more, the one who is right for her, who calls to her at the soul level. 

She always had this potential. Her friends just never wanted to see her this way. They were more comfortable in their ignorance. 

The only one who did understand was Damon. Because he has always known who she really is underneath all her innocence and propriety and responsibility. He’s always recognized the darker, passionate parts of her that she kept to herself. He never shied away from them.

In fact he loved them, and her, completely. He loves everything good and bad about her, no matter what.

So don’t tell me you hate the sire bond. Because you better believe it was the best thing that could’ve happened to Elena besides Damon himself. 

It made her who she is. Who she was always supposed to be. 

It set her free. And freedom is what she has always wanted.

Freedom to love as passionately and overwhelmingly as she is capable, freedom to choose the brother who stokes her fire rather than stifling it, freedom to chase that impossibility and opportunity for her future that Damon opened her eyes too.

The sire bond was not a blunder. It was the instrument of Elena’s salvation. 

“Okay your feelings were because of the sire bond, who is Damon Salvatore?”

“He was my boyfriend-“

“That’s not it. Dig deeper. Earlier.”

What was that Ric? 

Oh that’s right.

Elena’s feelings for Damon WERE NOT BECAUSE OF THE SIRE BOND.

All hail Julie Plec for dispelling this ridiculous illusion forever. And so simply, without an ounce of bullshit. She cut straight to the heart of the matter. 

Alaric literally compelled Elena to think that the sire bond had caused her to love Damon and it didn’t change a damn thing. It didn’t rewrite their history or alter her feelings or her grief at all.

He was still her boyfriend. She still loved him.

Because the sire bond was the RESULT of her feelings. Feelings she developed long before she even found out she was sired at all. 

“I don’t know. Maybe it was when we spent the night at the motel together. I wasn’t back together with Stefan yet and I remember when I was laying in bed with him all I could think about was kissing him. I wanted to kiss him so badly.”

“No one kissed anyone, who is Damon Salvatore?”

“He was my boyfriend-“

“That’s not it, next.”

She didn’t leave anything up for debate. She dragged everything into this, showing every memory anyone would assume was the moment Elena first fell in love with Damon.

Their first kiss. Their first dance. 

Their moment of passionate surrender in a motel hallway.

That’s what you’d expect after all. With any typical couple, it would be one of these life-altering experiences that spawned her love for him.

But Damon and Elena are anything but typical. They supersede every other couple and every other love story that has ever existed. 

Elena falling in loving with Damon would never be relegated to a predictable moment. They could never be so commonplace and mainstream.

They are one of a kind. Their journey, their bond, their relationship, their love is entirely in a league of its own.

So of course the moment she fell in love with him would be the most unassuming of exchanges, an interaction mired in symbolism and emotion and character development but that to an outsider - and probably to Damon himself - would not be the cause of an earth-shattering emotional realization like love. 

If only he knew. 

“I don’t know Ric!”

“Well think about it Elena. Think about that moment where you knew this person was somebody that you had feelings for, that you loved, and that you could see those feelings going on forever. Trust me you never forget.”

“Maybe we should just forget about this entire thing. It was a stupid idea, I can’t do this anymore alright? I’m done. Sorry.”

My god why do people question the endgame. Are they even watching the show.

The whole episode was spent dissecting Elena’s past with Damon, hunting down this signature moment where she fell in love with him. A signature moment Ric (and therefore the writers) define as much more than just an acknowledgement of romantic love.

This was about the moment Elena knew she could love Damon FOREVER. Not just for a minute, or a day, or the span of a human life. 

Forever. Something she didn’t even want when she was human, something she never planned to have with Stefan despite her claims of ‘always.’ 

Yet human Elena’s love for Damon was something she could see lasting well beyond fifty or sixty years. It was something she could envision never dying.

Tell me again why people doubt their lasting power. Explain to me why you would ever worry that any amount of angst could ever destroy what they have.

It simply isn’t possible. They are unconquerable. 

They have been for even longer than we realized. 

“Hey, this is really not a good time.”

“Sorry, I’ve just hit a wall with Elena and I just need some insight.”

“Okay, what’s the wall?”

“I’m trying to get her to figure out when she first fell in love with Damon but she can’t seem to get there.”

“Well yeah, because she doesn’t want to admit what everyone else already knows. She fell in love with Damon when she was still with Stefan.”

This season is just a bloody revelation. Already. 

The writers are slaughtering every unspoken misconception about this ship left and right. 

Because Caroline fucking Forbes just said it all. She just confirmed that she and the rest of Elena’s friends aren’t as blind as they pretend to be. They knew all along.

They knew Elena was falling in love with Damon long before she ever did. They watched it happen while she was fighting so hard to convince everyone that Stefan was her choice.

But even he saw it. There wasn’t any hiding it.

It was just too damn obvious. 

“Luke, where are you? I need more of that stuff like now. I’m starting to go… I don’t wanna hear it Ric okay? We tried. It didn’t work. It’s over.”

“It didn’t work because you weren’t being honest.”

“I wasn’t… Are you crazy? I was being completely honest. Do you think I wanna talk to you about my romantic life?”

“You weren’t being honest with yourself. Look I wanna hear all the Damon stuff while you were still with Stefan.”

“No. I was completely faithful to Stefan.”

“Of course you were.”

“I did everything.”

“I know.”

“I stuck with him even when he lost his humanity.”

“I know you did.”

“After he left a trail of bodies from Florida to Virginia, I fought for him.”

“I know you did Elena. You don’t wanna admit it because you feel like you’re betraying Stefan but this won’t work until you do.”

“No I loved Stefan the entire time, I never would’ve hurt him.”

“Elena you have been lucky enough to love two people this deeply in your young life. There’s nothing wrong with that. It’s okay.”

“It’s okay to love them both. That’s what Katherine used to say. How sad is it that my own evil doppelgänger was smarter than me?”

“It’s okay Elena, you can tell me. Tell me the moment you knew you loved him.”

“It was my birthday. Damon and I spent the entire summer looking for Stefan. And I was trying to put on a good face because Caroline was throwing this party for me but I was so sad. I was two seconds from deciding that I wasn’t gonna go. I wasn’t gonna leave the room. Until Damon walked in to give me my birthday gift. It was a necklace that Stefan had given me. I’d lost it. But Damon knew what the necklace meant to me. What it meant about my feelings for Stefan. Even though he loved me, he gave me the one thing that represented hope for me and his brother. I knew how much it hurt him. But he did it. It was the most selfless that he’s ever been. And in that moment, I loved him. I didn’t want to. It terrified me but for that moment I loved him.”

I cried more during this five minutes than during any single part of the season premiere.

Because I didn’t see this coming. At all. And let me tell you, it’s not easy to catch me off guard. I knew Damon was going to die months before it happened. I was prepared for that.

I wasn’t prepared for this. 

They are using Damon’s death more effectively that I could’ve ever predicted. They are coming at this from every angle, ensuring that when Delena’s inevitable endgame comes around, no one will question it.

Because they’ll know there’s simply no other option. Damon and Elena have been going in this direction together from the beginning. 

“Luke, where are you? I need more of that stuff like now. I’m starting to go… I don’t wanna hear it Ric okay? We tried. It didn’t work. It’s over.”

“It didn’t work because you weren’t being honest.”

“I wasn’t… Are you crazy? I was being completely honest. Do you think I wanna talk to you about my romantic life?”

“You weren’t being honest with yourself. Look I wanna hear all the Damon stuff while you were still with Stefan.”

Do you see what they’ve done here, finally, after five seasons of beating around the bush?

They aren’t holding anything back. They’re not just letting us into Elena’s head, they’re shining a spotlight on her heart and soul. 

They’re telling the haters and nay sayers to fuck off, that those who thought they knew Elena Gilbert had it wrong from the start.

Not only is she more compassionate than we’ve ever dreamed, she’s also more perceptive, more loyal and more selfless than anyone could’ve known. 

Because the illusion has been shattered. This ridiculous, illogical and unfounded assumption that Elena’s love for Damon didn’t absolutely change her and her life for the better has been shot to hell.

He was the best possible thing that could’ve happened to her. He saved her from a life predicated on expectation and obligation. 

“You weren’t being honest with yourself. Look I wanna hear all the Damon stuff while you were still with Stefan.”

This is one of the most important scenes of the entire series. This whole conversation just turned the show upside down, exposing things about the early seasons of TVD that the writers didn’t dare to confirm until the time was right.

Now it is. Things have changed so significantly since season three, the tables have turned so much, that there’s no reason not to finally explain the real reason behind Elena’s choice in 3x22.

And let me tell you, it had nothing to do with love. 

“No. I was completely faithful to Stefan.”

“Of course you were.”

“I did everything.”

“I know.”

“I stuck with him even when he lost his humanity.”

“I know you did.”

“After he left a trail of bodies from Florida to Virginia, I fought for him.”

I am still in shock that they addressed this so boldly, that they finally allowed Elena to speak out about her behavior in season three. 

It was a long time coming. 

Never forget that she had committed to Stefan at the beginning of her junior year, accepted all that comes with him and his vampirism and vowed not to stray. Not just verbally, but internally, to herself. She’s not the kind of person who just gives up. She’s too invested in her loved ones for that. 

She’s too loyal. And that was the entire crux of her heartbreak and confusion in season three.

She couldn’t shed her loyalty to Stefan. Even after all the ways he hurt her, pushed her away, nearly killed her, treated her like nothing more than a pawn, she refused to give up on him. Even when she started to move on from him and what they had, she refused to give up on him. 

She had loved Stefan long before she knew this horrific side of his personality existed. And if someone else hadn’t been around to pick up his slack, she likely wouldn’t have moved on at all. She’d have accepted these dark portions of his character and continued to love him and be committed to him once he came back to himself.

But there was someone to pick up Stefan’s slack, to support Elena as he continuously tore her down. 

As Stefan threw Elena’s feelings and faith in her face, as he damaged her trust in him and wrecked her ability to feel safe in his presence, she had someone else who lifted her back up. Someone who helped her learn to protect herself from vampires, who came for her when she was lying in a hospital bed after Stefan attacked her, who brought her home after he tried to drive her off Wickery Bridge, who plotted at every opportunity to take down Klaus so she would be safe.

Damon. 

And that was the whole problem. 

Stefan broke what they had, leaving Elena vulnerable and questioning everything. But in that vulnerable state, Damon was there, looking out for her, helping her, trying to save her and his brother and asking nothing in return.

But she had no idea how to handle that. How to reconcile all the terrible things Stefan had done TO her with all the wonderful things Damon had done FOR her. 

The lines were more blurred than ever. Doubt had been cast on everything romantic she ever felt for Stefan while the lure of more solid ground had given life to the romantic feelings for Damon she never expected to have. 

So why did she pick Stefan in 3x22 if she was uncertain of their relationship? 

Because it was expected of her. Because it was the safe and familiar road, because once he was good and heroic Stefan again she could just pretend nothing had changed between them. 

Because they never had any real closure and she assumed they could pick up where they left off so many months before. 

Because she had invested so much time in fighting for him and for them and she wanted it to be worth something. 

Because she felt she owed it to them to give it one more shot.

And none of those reasons has anything to do with love. 

It wasn’t about which brother she loved more. It wasn’t about who she envisioned a future with. After all, she said herself that she wasn’t thinking about always. 

It was a purely in the moment decision, not meant to be permanent. 

It was never indicative of whether or not she loved Damon. She did.

It was about seeing her relationship with Stefan through, determining once and for all if it was truly over between them so that if and when she went there with Damon, SHE wouldn’t have any doubts. She would know in her heart that she did all she could to make it work with Stefan and it just didn’t. 

She had to be free and clear of Stefan in order to commit to Damon. And before she went off that bridge and drowned there was still unfinished business between her and her estranged boyfriend.

That’s what matters most to Elena. That she can devote herself in her entirety to the person she’s with. That she can be faithful no matter the obstacles that present themselves.

She, like Damon, is immensely loyal. She has a code she just refuses to break.

And she saw loving Damon when she was supposed to be fighting for, and even pining for Stefan, as a violation of that code. 

“I know you did Elena. You don’t wanna admit it because you feel like you’re betraying Stefan but this won’t work until you do.”

“No I loved Stefan the entire time, I never would’ve hurt him.”

This justification is a crucial piece of insight into the mind of Elena Gilbert. 

Ric hit the nail on the head. By admitting that she developed feelings for Damon while she and Stefan were technically still together, she was also admitting that she had unconsciously betrayed what they had. That she’d fallen in love with her boyfriend’s brother. 

And she never wanted to be that person. She always assumed it was the worst possible thing she could ever do, equivalent to actual cheating. In some ways, even worse.

Like some adultery of the heart. An emotional infidelity. 

But it wasn’t. At the end of the day, these were exigent circumstances. It wasn’t good or bad, it just WAS. It wasn’t planned or anticipated, it was just how Damon made her feel at a time when her life was falling apart around her. 

She just never wanted to believe that she’d allowed herself to love anyone other than her boyfriend, that her emotions could spiral so far out of control she’d actually morph into her worst nightmare: Katherine.  

“Elena you have been lucky enough to love two people this deeply in your young life. There’s nothing wrong with that. It’s okay.”

“It’s okay to love them both. That’s what Katherine used to say. How sad is it that my own evil doppelgänger was smarter than me?”

The character development is so real, I can’t even fathom it. 

There was a time when Elena would not have even indulged this conversation at all, let alone drop the pretense and actually ADMIT that once upon a time she loved both brothers equally.

And the best part about this is that she recognizes it’s not the most grievous sin she’s ever committed. She understands this doesn’t make her a terrible person, nor does it make her anything like Katherine. In fact, it has always been a mark of how unlike Katherine she is that she fretted so endlessly about her feelings for Damon and Stefan, that she always tried to maintain a line in the sand and be sure she never came between them like her doppelgänger did.

That’s how she repaired their relationship in a way they couldn’t on their own. Even though they were both in love with her, she was as fair as she possibly could be in such a difficult situation. This wasn’t done with malice or ill will, it wasn’t a game. She took this seriously.

It was simply beyond her control. You can’t always fight what you feel.

She didn’t INTEND to develop reciprocal love for Damon while Stefan was gone. She never planned to go there with Damon ever. But the heart is a strange beast and it chases after what it wants regardless of how divisive and even painful the circumstances might be.

The fact of the matter is that she was a teenage girl caught between not just two appealing brothers that loved her dearly but also between the varying psychotic whims of the original family. The stakes were higher, her life was much more tragic and stressful than it ever should’ve been, and Damon and Stefan were both there for her, to protect her and love her, in their ways.

What people fail to recognize - what Elena herself failed to recognize until the dust had settled - is that her relationships with Damon and Stefan are not dependent on each other. She developed separate bonds with them under separate circumstances at two separate points in her life. 

Her love for Stefan blossomed in the wake of her parents’ death, was the solace she clung too after she suffered her first devastating blow of grief. She was seventeen, a novice to the supernatural and unaware of her own magical background. 

Her love for Damon was fostered under increasingly more tragic conditions. She was eighteen, well entrenched in a life inundated by magic and anguish and fear. She was on the cusp of a monumental transition, not just into a vampire but into an adult. Her maturity was a massive catalyst for her feelings for the elder Salvatore. 

These are two different Elenas. Human or not, the backlash of seasons two and three is that Elena was forced to grow up, to make hard choices, to look at her life and her future differently. 

And it is those changes coupled with the damning behavior Stefan exhibited while he was with Klaus that left her in such a state where falling in love with Damon was simply a reflex. It wasn’t a mistake, and it wasn’t a betrayal. 

It just happened. 

The timing may not have been ideal for anyone - after all, she certainly wasn’t ready to be with Damon let alone give up on Stefan - but it was inevitable. She’d been on the road to loving Damon since the night they met. It would’ve happened eventually, whether she was human and eighteen or a newbie vampire or in her early twenties. 

Falling in love with Damon was unavoidable. It was just a matter of when.

“It was my birthday. Damon and I spent the entire summer looking for Stefan. And I was trying to put on a good face because Caroline was throwing this party for me but I was so sad. I was two seconds from deciding that I wasn’t gonna go. I wasn’t gonna leave the room. Until Damon walked in to give me my birthday gift. It was a necklace that Stefan had given me. I’d lost it. But Damon knew what the necklace meant to me. What it meant about my feelings for Stefan. Even though he loved me, he gave me the one thing that represented hope for me and his brother. I knew how much it hurt him. But he did it. It was the most selfless that he’s ever been. And in that moment, I loved him. I didn’t want to. It terrified me but for that moment I loved him.”

I could write an entire post about this. There’s just so much to say.

Starting with the fact that of all the guesses I’d ever made as to when Elena first felt love for Damon, this moment didn’t even make the list. Nor should it have.

Because if it was meant to be so obvious no one would ever have questioned how she felt about him in the first place.

Of course she fell in love with him in 3x01. It explains everything that transpired during season three, every ounce of tension between Damon and Elena, every bit of her confusion and uncertainty about Stefan, every tear she shed when she tried to let Damon go in 3x22. 

Of course she fell in love with him on her eighteen birthday, the symbolic moment of transition from childhood to adulthood, which Damon has always represented for her. 

Of course she fell in love with him because he gave her back something that was meant to exemplify her feelings for Stefan.

Of course she fell in love with him while standing in Stefan’s bedroom.

Of course she fell in love with him in the same episode where she’d claimed the kiss she gave him on his deathbed had just been a goodbye. 

OF COURSE. 

It shouldn’t be surprising at all, yet I still wake up every morning in shock, unable to look at any single moment following Elena’s birthday the way I used too.

This revelation turned my whole life upside down. Re-watching this series will never be the same. 

Because now we know that she was in the process of falling in love with him throughout seasons one and two, even amidst hiccups like him snapping Jeremy’s neck. 

Because now we know that the sire bond was formed based on love she had been feeling for MONTHS and denied at every turn.

Because now we know that when he kissed her, when she kissed him, when she was jealous of women flirting with him, when she was wiling to let Stefan go after he sabotaged their attempt to kill Klaus, when she demanded Stefan rescue him from Rebekah, when she fell asleep with him in her bed next to her, when she told him his love for her was a problem, when she insisted that she didn’t want him to be what other people thought he was, she loved him.

Through every bump and rough patch, every turning point and crossroad of season three, Elena loved Damon. Even when she chose Stefan for the last time, she loved him. 

Because she was always going too. She was always going to fall in love with him, no matter how long it took.

The timing isn’t really all that relevant. The circumstances are not even relevant. 

It matters not that she was still with Stefan, that she wasn’t anywhere near ready to be with Damon, that she was barely an adult and practically on her own, legally responsible for her little brother. 

None of it matters. Their love is not contingent on circumstances or outside influences. 

Their love simply is. Was. Will forever be.

It is timeless. 

“It was my birthday.”

If the word epic had not been so unjustly tainted by Stelena, I would use it in this instance. 

Because what the fuck. 

I mean the way she said it. The tears in her eyes. 

The complete surrender, as if she’d known all along and yet had never fully realized it until the moment she told Alaric. 

IT WAS HER BIRTHDAY. 

In her roller coaster of a life it wasn’t any of the other dozens of average days that have been made memorable and beautiful and passionate because of Damon. It wasn’t their first kiss, their first dance, their first meeting.

It was her fucking birthday.

An already supposed to be special day made memorable by a simple moment she shared with Damon before she went downstairs for her party.

The thing is, nothing REALLY happened. No outsider would understand or appreciate the significance of the interaction Damon and Elena shared in Stefan’s bedroom that night. And that’s why no one ever knew that her love for him was born in that moment.

Because it wasn’t about what happened. 

It was about WHY it happened. About what it meant to Elena, what she learned about Damon from his choice to give her that necklace. 

It was about who Damon is. That was always the difference between Elena’s love for Damon and Elena’s love for Stefan. 

Part of Elena’s feelings for Stefan were predicated on her situation at the time they met. 

She had just lost her parents. She was lost and grieving and a little lonely and she needed someone. 

Stefan just happened to be the person she encountered during that low point. It wasn’t really about him or about who he is because she barely knew him before she decided that she loved him. 

I’ve said it before: Elena fell in love with Stefan blindly. Which makes a lot of her feelings for him circumstantial. 

He was simply in the right place at the right time.

Her love for Damon was completely different by its very nature. Circumstances played little to no part in it. 

She fell in love with Damon with her eyes wide open, understanding and accepting everything terrible he had ever done and reconciling it with the good he started to exhibit as time went on.

Elena fell in love with Damon as a person. She fell in love with his humanity, with his growing heroism, with how he loved her. 

She fell in love with all of him, the good, the bad, and everything in between. 

And it was THOSE memories that Alaric had to erase to bring Elena to a place where she no longer loved him. It wasn’t enough to simply compel their relationship out of her head or tell her she didn’t love him anymore, end of story.

Alaric had to make Elena forget who Damon really is. He had to erase everything good Elena had ever known about him.

Which is what 3x01 means to Elena. It’s the embodiment of everything good she had come to respect and love about Damon until that point. 

It was a moment and an action that she saw as genuine selflessness, a choice he made because of how much he loved her, even though she didn’t feel the same way.

And that’s why she did come to feel the same way. Because he demonstrated that he wasn’t sticking around to try and lure her away from his brother. By giving her that necklace, he proved that what was most important to him was what SHE wanted. And he knew at that time she wanted Stefan.

But he couldn’t give her his brother because they didn’t know where he was. So he gave her what he could.

He gave her the necklace. He gave her the one thing that represented hope for her and Stefan.

And THAT is why she loved him. Because he made what was important to her important to him. Because he put her needs first. Because he brought a smile to her face when she was so sad about Stefan that she was considering ditching her own party.

It was that love and selflessness and stability that propelled her to accompany him downstairs. 

It was all about Damon, confirmation that deep down, she always understood him for who he really was.

She just gets it. I mean really, truly gets it. She sympathizes with him in a way no one else in his entire 173 years of living ever has. She saw right through him from the moment they met. 

She always knew this selfless person was buried somewhere under all his arrogance and cruelty.

And when he showed it to her so openly, in a moment of nothing but raw devotion and love, she could no longer pretend that their friendship was just a friendship, that her love for him was platonic. 

She knew it wasn’t. She knew romance was brewing, that all those times he’d claimed something was happening between them he’d been right.

And it scared the shit out of her. So she let it in for just one moment and then tamped it down, denying it had ever existed.

She didn’t know that once she acknowledged it, even for the barest whisper of a second, that it wouldn’t go away. That one small spark she ignited when she looked in his eyes in that mirror as he fastened that necklace around her neck was merely the gateway to bigger, more brutal emotions.

To love like she’d never known before.

She kindled a wildfire that night. The night she turned eighteen, the night childhood and innocence became a true thing of the past.

It’s all so symbolic and complex it brings me to tears. 

Their love is a legend in and of itself. So much so that in order to properly reveal how and when and why Elena fell in love with Damon they had to devote an entire forty minutes to it. And when they finally came to the moment itself, a revelation that is second only to Damon and Elena’s first meeting, they made sure Elena didn’t relive it alone.

As Elena recounted the moment with her words, Damon did the same with his actions. 

In his otherworldly time dimension of May 10, 1994, on a day that coincided with present day Elena, he made his way to Stefan’s room, propped himself against the doorway for a moment as he had the night of Elena’s birthday, looked into that mirror, then dug out the necklace from the desk, holding it up and looking at it like it was a piece of Elena he got to keep with him in his own personal hell. 

Twin. Fucking. Flames.

Even as they are straddling two different dimensions, separated by magic and distance and time, they STILL parallel each other. They are so in sync, so alike, that as they are aching for each other they unconsciously relive the same moment of their history at the same time.

And that is true love. It’s the truest kind of love that could ever exist.

It’s why I can’t find it in myself to worry that when Alaric compelled Elena to forget what really happened on her eighteenth birthday, her mind immediately went to the night Damon snapped Jeremy’s neck, turning her love for him into hate in an instant.

“Who was Damon Salvatore?”

“He’s Stefan’s brother. He was a monster. And he died.”

Upset, horrified, afraid? Don’t be. 

This is nothing they can’t beat. They’ve suffered much worse and still come out the other side.

And if you don’t understand why it had to be like this, think of what she was just made to forget.

A moment that changed her life forever. Several of them in fact.

She doesn’t remember meeting Damon on that road. She doesn’t remember how he stepped up for her at the pageant. She doesn’t remember their first kiss.

And she doesn’t remember falling in love with him. The seismic shift she experienced on her eighteenth birthday has just been taken from her, hidden in the recesses of her brain. 

All that left was what Damon had been before she got to know him. 

All that left was the memory of a monster, untempered by the wonderful things she knows about him deep down.

But that’s no reason to be worried. Certainly no reason to think this will be anything more than another bump in the road.

Alaric compelled her mind. Not her emotions. 

It’s because she doesn’t REMEMBER loving Damon that she no longer believes she does. It’s because she doesn’t remember being with him or losing him that she is no longer crippled from the loss of him. 

Her mind has been tricked into thinking he’s nothing to her. 

Her heart is a different story. 

While Damon is gone, she can live in this secondary fragile reality, believing she didn’t just lose the love of her life.

It’s when Damon returns that everything her mind is telling her will be called into question. 

It doesn’t matter what her brain tells her. Her heart knows better. Her emotions will recognize Damon as someone she loves when she’s faced with him again.

Her soul will continue to yearn for him until they reunite.

And that is the beauty of this story line, painful as it is. That is why this is absolutely the best approach they could’ve taken.

Because how do you confirm, beyond the shadow of a doubt, that two people can’t ever love anyone else besides each other ever again?

By showing that even in death, even in memory loss, even in misconceived hatred, they still can’t move on. 

Elena couldn’t let go without being compelled. Yet even in her compelled state, she’s lost as much of herself as she had when she was missing Damon. 

Because their love isn’t just about those memories. That’s the point.

Those memories are more about who Elena IS with them. She’s not herself now that she doesn’t remember loving Damon because she doesn’t recall everything that came along with it. Everything about her that changed for the better. 

But the memories themselves, while they fostered the love, are not WHY she fell in love with him.

She still is. Underneath it all, her feelings haven’t changed. 

She hasn’t let go of the love. She’s let go of the grief. The desperation, the loneliness, the pain.

Or so she thinks.

What she’s really done is bury it, no differently than flipping her humanity switch. It’s just in this instance, it’s more like she flipped a Damon switch.

Much like shutting off your emotions hides everything good about you and your personality, dragging the darkest parts of your character to the surface, compelling Damon and their relationship from her mind did the very same thing.

Loving Damon is part of who Elena is. It has shaped her as a person, been the driving force for the majority of her decisions for the better part of two years. It’s the reason she stayed a vampire, the reason she not only accepted it, but grew comfortable with it and herself. 

Damon has not just been Elena’s largest constant since she was seventeen. He’s been her strongest influence, the only person whose left such a lasting impact on her that his death actually destroyed her. 

So instead of flipping her switch, she simply turned off her love for Damon. 

And unfortunately, the opposite of love is hate. Without anything to back up her feelings for Damon all she has to recall about him is the darkness he was when he originally showed up in Mystic Falls. 

All she remembers is a monster. And that isn’t her fault. It’s all that was left when the good things were taken away. 

It’s the only remaining detail about him that she has in her memory. His vampirism, and how he uses it. The personal things she’s learned of him, the beautifully human elements of his character have been wiped away, leaving massive gaps in her mind’s recollections of Damon.

And it will be those gaps that inform how her love rises up again, stronger than ever. When enough time has passed that the empty spaces within her start to weigh on her, she will demand answers. It’s in her nature to seek out the truth at all costs.

Which is when this will come full circle. When all these details that were thrust under a microscope in this episode will reemerge, assaulting her mind and emotions all at once, allowing her to fall in love with Damon for the second time. 

And really, how many women can boast that they’ve fallen in love with their twin flame TWICE. 

She literally will get to relive it all, like a slideshow of their romance. Instead of taking an entire season to transition from hate to love it will happen in minutes.

Like flipping a switch. 

Don’t tell me you’re not excited to witness that metamorphosis. 

Especially if Damon is the one who coerces her memories back into action.

I am ecstatic. I’m as excited and terrified as I was for Damon’s demise. 

Truly sometimes I just can’t fathom how much THOUGHT goes into their story.

I mean the parallels alone are enough to blow minds. The attention to every single detail of Damon and Elena’s journey is just too impressive. The writers are so deeply invested in this relationship, they make sure to get it all right, to match it all up, to leave no stone unturned.

Everything is addressed. Every moment, every look, every relevant second they have ever shared that coalesced to foster their once in a lifetime love. 

Damon and Elena work through all of their problems, atone for every mistake, take space when it’s necessary, fight until the fire raging between them threatens to burn out (not that such a thing is even possible). 

That’s how real this is. That’s how powerful and everlasting the foundation they share is in comparison to every other relationship not just on this show, but arguably in the history of all love stories.

It has always been about the details with them. The stolen moments and silent communication and gestures of intimacy. That is how they fell in love. Not obviously, not mildly, not all at once.

It happened in secret, over time, slowly building a bond between them that is so vast and strong and unbreakable that once they gave into their feelings, there was no stopping them. There IS no stopping them.

No amount of distance or trial or angst is enough to tear them apart. They can weather any storm, defeat any obstacle. Their love is so divine and magnificent that nothing could ever truly come between them.

They are unconquerable, unsinkable and undeniable. What they have is beyond the realm of human understanding. It’s a level of familiarity and devotion that few ever reach.

Because they share a soul. Because they are one.

Which is why Elena fell apart without him. So much so that forgetting was a more logical course of action than continuing to live out her eternity with only her memories and her emptiness. 

The nature of her desolation has been made clear. She cannot function without Damon. She is so distraught without him that she can’t even fully accept his death for fear of giving in to her humanity switch or merely joining him in his mysterious afterlife.

She can’t survive immortality alone. Nor can she ever just bury her love for Damon and the experience of their relationship. A relationship that gave her everything she wanted in life. A relationship that made living forever not just worthwhile, but something to look forward too. 

A relationship that turned the curse of vampirism into a blessing.

So she locked it away for the sake of her own survival.

Because when she finally had to confront the notion that Damon was gone forever, she practically shut down from the visceral agony of it.

Because she can see nothing worse than to sail this universe without him.

Zach, you’re not going to build schools for needy children in Africa if Frankie is going to be there. I don’t care how badly you think they need schools. They’re just going to have to deal with what they have. You’re not allowed near Frankie.
—  Zach’s parents, probably
2

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25,000 cat people going “HA DOG PEOPLE YOU’RE RUDE AND YOU HATE CATS FOR NO REASON YOU GO OVER THE TOP AND ARE RIDICULOUS LOOK AT THESE RIDICULOUS DOG PEOPLE ….cat people are definitely totally chill though”

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This was the highlight of the night tbh

his timbos…. Like…. 👀

So i finished reading Boo and of course i’m solangelo trash, i mean…how could i not be? So i just have this headcannon that Will, after a couple months in camp as oficial bfs, will always approach to Nico, like romantically….and the son of Hades will be so flustered by it that he will probably smack him down a couple of times.
but of course, Will won’t mind because he knows that nico likes him too….

question game!!

1) whats ur fave item of clothing in ur closet? everything ive bought from urban outfitters tbh epecially this rlly cool b&w skirt it looks bomb

2)if you could re-name yourself, what name would you choose? some rlly cool unique name caitlin is such a boring name

3) fave meal? nandos

4) what is on your lockscreen? its nicki minaj dressed in royalty and on my hompage background its beyonce dressed in royalty

5) fave album of all time? right now its probably beyonce I AM…WORLD TOUR plz listen to it its changed my life…….

6) First type of porn you have ever watched? (ie. lesbian, hentai, threesome) hmm

7) are u circumsized?? (only if u have a penis i guess) hmmmm

8) how did you come up with your URL?? dont judge omg it was something rlly shitty like star-spangled-banner.tumblr.com so it was inspired by the us flag :((

9) the furthest you have ever travelled from home?? somewhere in america

10) if i asked you to have sex with me would u say yes ? HMMMM

11) put iTunes on shuffle, list the first 5 songs…. 1. H.A.M by Kanye West and Jay-Z Watch the Throne 2. Crack Rock by Frank Ocean Channel Orange 3. Pilot Jones by Frank Ocean Channel Orange 4. New Day by Kanye West and Jay-Z Watch the Throne 5. Brooklyn Baby by Lana Del Rey Ultraviolence

im not tagging anyone bc im lazy and i dont have 11 friends here so….

oh yea i was tagged by james cexting

On the one hand, I love that Flight Rising has backstories and lore. On the other hand:

image

Arcanist no.

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