Need some love :,(
Ugh, my dad will not accept that I’d like extensions on my work, just temporarily, as I get better and the medicine kicks in. Like, its not a huge deal? I’m trying to recover from depression and anxiety, while returning to school and its a lot to come back to. I’m 95% sure most of my teachers would rather have me turn in projects a few days later than turn them in on time after pulling an all-nighter sobbing, wishing I were dead…
THIS is what I’ve been telling him to stop for the past 14 years of my life! WHY does he want me to be perfect?? I’m going to start crying, I mean, it just upsets me so much. He can’t have a daughter who might need some extra time. Only one who wins all the awards, is the top student, a star athlete, is friendly to everyone, and volunteers places, blah, blah, blah. And I’ve been that! For my whole life! And look how I ended up!
I mean, he sat me down when I was about nine and told me he wanted me to be valedictorian. I didn’t even know what that word meant!! And now he’s been better, but it just really hurts. For once, I’m advocating for myself and saying what I need, and he’s questioning me and saying I don’t need it. No, I don’t, and I’ll probably end up in a terrible place again.
It’s just, I’m trying to help myself, and he won’t accept it! This day has been so hard and tomorrow’s Monday which is school. I just need some hugs, honestly. I’m an emotional wreck tonight.