*This passage appears in the adventure journal of Tallgeez the Mighty Hunter. It’s accompanied by a gnomish datadisc and is heavily smudged in blue, presumably draenic blood.*
EPIC STRUGGLE, COMRADES!
Tallgeez the Mighty Hunter fighting Ahoo’ru the Unsullied!
HUZZAH! Many glory of brawling guild! Long struggles, hard adversaries, much geometry - until now.
Now, is just Tallgeez and Ahoo’ru…
First, Tallgeez must say - normally Tallgeez does not shoot or hunt fellow draenei. Draenei are many comrades in arms, struggling against dire foes! Is poor taste to hunt our own kind…
Know that among the draenei of Azeroth, Ahoo’ru is known as - mortals would say - ‘Giant-Ass-Jerk’.
This is why: most draenei are devout and righteous, like Tallgeez’s beloved, or many vindicators and anchorites!
Many draenei are wise and powerful! Our Prophet Velen, the Shadows of Argus - even this child Tallgeez found in Shattrath and carried places for
no reason perfectly good reasons!
But none, other than Ahoo’ru, claim they are ‘Unsullied’!
Draenei hunt for thousands upon thousands of years! Against Burning Legion! And Orcs! And Scourge!
The only way to be ‘Unsullied’ as Draenei is to stay away from fights!
…And that is what Ahoo’ru does! Wears light bubbles all day, avoids dirt and fighting with Light, summons angel to explode things… then he judges Mighty Hunter, and his comrades, for being in adventures and acquiring many dirt and blood while hunting!
This works well for Ahoo’ru. But it is also ridiculous and Tallgeez will end it with explosions!!
Tallgeez will fight Ahoo’ru and his magnificent haircut for great justice! Glory for all comrades, and every fellow hunter oppressed by bubbling paladins everywhere!
Epic battle will commence! Bullets versus the Light! Magic versus explosions!
Tallgeez shall leap from the walls! Strike from the skies! Rain fire upon foes like agile, gun-shooting
wolf cat whaleshark moth!!
Ahoo’ru will strike with light! Pose menacingly! Probably be immune to everything forever while standing near him and magnificent hair causes pain and death!!!
Then, Tallgeez the Mighty Hunter will win!
(Bizmo’s Brawlpub Video Feed follows…)
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