Xa anh : Day 1.

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1/9/2013

It was just hard, I check his twitter like every 10 mins. I stalked his facebook page - which I could hardly see anything because we’re not friends anymore for a long time. But there was one status about me. Oh , he said he missed me. He felt the same way as I did. I was glad , for about a minute , then I turned back to my bad mood thinking of how it’s gonna change in the next few weeks , or maybe days.

It was so hard. I tried not to look at his house as I secretly used to whenever mom drived pass it. All the plans we’ve made, they’re just pointless now. I don’t know what I should do with my life , I don’t feel the urge to do anything. Mom kept asking about him, I acted it out perfectly and pretended like I didn’t care much. She had no idea. Mommy , please just leave me alone. 

Trying not to text him was the hardest part , but then there was Draw something. My heart broke the moment he called me “baby”. No , this is not right. Maybe he forgot about how things have changed , although it was just yesterday. But no “baby” from now on please. I hate this feeling.

Some bad things have happened to me lately , I was so pathetic and clueless the whole time. I wanted to disappear . I wanted to hide. I didn’t get to smile for a day but then there were my besties. Going out and talking to them was always the best part. Just like he said : ” They’re always with you , you’re gonna be okay. “. Cool enough, I got caught by the police , I wonder why nothing was going the way I wanted them too? I’m not a bad person, well at least I don’t go around and stab people, then why is this happening to me ? At like right now ? Not the best time huh when I have no one I trust beside me , someone who I can actually talk to.

I’m loosing weight ? I was always chubby when he was still around. So it’s a good thing. This wasn’t that bad after all . Was it ?

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