Wtf moment

Me: walk *hip thrust* my *hip thrust* way *hip thrust* Mr *hip thrust* all *hip thrust* Australian!

5sos:…

Ketchup:….

Daniel:….

Obama:…

Mom:…

Dad:…

The queen:….

5sos fam:….

Calum: YUSSSSSS?……

Someone calling Sherlock pretty boy in a derogatory way and John just smiling menacingly as he walks up to them and grabs their shirt collar, bunching it tightly in his fists to pull them in close and whisper:

"He is pretty, but I’m the only one on the planet who can call him that. If I hear it from your mouth again, I guarantee you- his face will be the last beautiful thing you get to see." 

And the guy calling John mental and scurrying away while Sherlock looks confused and asks John what he said, but John just pats his back in response. (◡‿◡✿)

A man walks into a bar and sees three cuts of meat stapled to the ceiling.
He approaches the bartender and asks, “What’s that all about?”
The bartender says, “Well, if you can jump up and touch one of the pieces of meat, you get free drinks for the rest of the night. But, if you miss, you pay for everyone’s drinks for an hour.”
The man contemplates this challenge for a minute, and the bartender asks, “So you wanna try?”
The man waves his hand, and says “Nah, the steaks are too high.”

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