Steve Holland and Satire

So I went to meet the Chelsea team at their team hotel last week before they played Man City. One of the first men to come out was Steve Holland. Now we were in Manchester, so a lot of idiots were around who were there purely to get autographs on shirts to sell them- people who probably didn’t even support Chelsea. So anyway, Steve Holland comes out and this guy next to me pushes me aside, despite the fact that I was hyperventilating at the fact that Steve Fucking Holland was right in front me. Then this guy asks Steve for his autograph and their conversation went a little like this-
Idiot- Give us an Autograph mate?
Steve - Sure *takes pen*
Idiot - who are you anyway?
Steve - … I have your pen in my hand and now you’re asking me who I am?
Idiot - i know but who actually even are you?
Me- Are you fucking stupid? He’s Steve Holland. He’s one of the main coaches. Why are you even here?
Steve - *finishes signing idiots shirt and moves onto me*
At this point I could hardly speak, that’s how in awe I was , but I said - ’ Ignore him, he has no respect. You’re such an amazing guy. The true fans know who you are Steve!
Steve - *PATS MY HAND* and walks into coach.
Idiot - BUT WHO ARE YOU?
Steve - *smiles* no one important.

I later saw Steve and Jose share a laugh as Mou shook his head in disbelief while SH told him something - no doubt this exchange. At least I got to see Steve Holland smile…

#NationsBest #shoutout to @bleechr for their big broadcast tomorrow night with #CoralSprings vs #StAndrews in a battle of South Florida. #highschoolfootball
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#Nationsbest #shoutout to @bleechr and #HSPN on their LIVE broadcast of tonight’s big South Florida #highschoolfootball game : #Flanagan VA #McArthur featuring WR #KeavonMitchell of the #Dirtybirds. #Fridaynightlights #youthfootball #fyfl #PopWarner #syfl #ayfl #usafootball #NFL #nflpa #NFLPlayers #nflnetwork #NFLNow #nflhspd #NFLAM #Sportsnetwork

Bonus hilarious photo: Raul Meireles deals with Cristian’s distress over missing a penalty.

Me: Hench grabbed him by the hair hard and was yelling at him. And that’s Hench trying to comfort someone. Classic.

Later:

Me: Hench injured, asked to go off. Man, I’m surprised he didn’t try to amputate his own limb with his teeth and beg to stay on.
Brother: He has to go and sharpen his knives to kill the guy who cried.