I’m sitting infront of the tv on a friday night.  I’m at home, on my own and on facebook.  Nobody’s around and I could easily binge and purge, or I could even purge my dinner which I had a few minutes ago.  There’s a lasagne, pasta, sauce, chocolate rolls, everything you could want.

Since a couple of days ago when my nutritionist declared that I was to be hospitalized in the next 2 weeks,  I’ve been binging, purging and restricting non-stop.  It’s as though I’m trying to already make up for the time I’ll lose whilst there: a whole 2 months. 

I still don’t know what’s going to happen tonight. 

I don’t want to be the ‘fat bulimic’ when I get to the ‘hospital’.  However I don’t even know if it’s a hospital specifically for patients with eating disorders, or whether it’s for teenagers with various mental disorders.  I never thought I’d say this but…. thank God for the NHS.

I realise this is the most boring and monotonous post ever, in the history of boing, generic eating-disorder-related posts. 

so i’m still in the hospital and finally got a roommate my age and i love her to death already but i just want to go home but i don’t think i can for three more weeks because of partial hoapitalization after this and it fucking blows

OH and i had to withdraw from college since i tried to suffocate myself so that was a sign that i wasn’t able to handle it and whoop-de-doo

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