Sally’s panting, hands on her knees. You wait for her to finish as you collect the grist from the dungeon boss and consult the map again. “Yep, here’s the place. The consorts said this’d be a legendary treasure.” Sally’s breath is back to normal, and you open the door. Yes, a treasure chest! You open it, and… “Oh, I think that one’s mine.” She plucks the DVD from the treasure chest. “Sally, why do you have a DVD of the Squiddles?” “Because fuck you. That’s why.” You sigh and close the treasure chest and push the idea of strangling the consort that sold you the map out of your mind. Another dungeon, another shitty prize.