Pubbas is my best friend and we really need your help to afford a place to live. Please help us!
More information on my situation:
My mom started dating my step dad when I was two, so unfortunately I don’t know a life without him in it. My first memory? I was being knocked out of a chair at five years old.
This was the start of the next decade of hell for me. Over the next ten years, my mom “left” my step dad over fifteen times. Every time, she returned to him. Regardless of how badly he treated me, she always went back. He was extremely verbally and emotionally abusive, and although he was not often physically abusive, when he was, it was intense and horrifying.
At one point when I was six years old, he refused to buy my mother and I any food because I am not his biological child. Because of this, I only ate at school and had to steal food from the store to eat at home.
He threatened to “chop” me up into pieces and “put me down the garbage disposal” so nobody would find the remains. He threatened to murder my mom and I many times throughout the years.
Another point in time, he would turn the water supply off when he left the house so that we could not use it without his permission.
From the time I was five until we left permanently at fourteen, he constantly called me a fat cunt, a waste of space, told me I should have been aborted, constantly made fun of my weight, told me I’d never find love, etc. This man was extremely emotionally and verbally abusive towards me. When I was 14, he forced me to sleep in a cricket and beetle infested basement that flooded all of the time.
I wasn’t allowed to have friends over, I wasn’t allowed to do anything or go places. No internet, no phone, no contact with anyone he didn’t want me to contact.
I was bullied very badly in school (I went to 10 schools and was bullied at all of them,) and because my home life was toxic as well, I had no safe haven.
When I got my dog, she was like my saving grace. The little beacon of hope I needed. He abused her as well, one time throwing her against the garage door when she wouldn’t stay in the spot he told her to. When I was 14, I took action against him and he told my mom I had to leave his home.
He has been in and out of my life since then, of course not by my choice.
My mother may attribute that situation to her issues, but I find no excuse for her abuse either. My mother has not been a parent to me and because of risk of this getting back to her, please message me if you want to know specifics.
Since we left him when I was 14, we have been homeless three times.
I have been homeless since early July 2014. I have no family or friends who can help, and I am working on finding a free clinic to go to so I can get the needed paperwork to apply for disability. My mother and younger sister now have a home in a different state and my mother continues to be abusive towards me in any way that she finds she’s able to, any chance she gets.
She made an empty promise to pay me back some of the funds she’s borrowed from me when she got her income tax refund this year, and with that I would have been able to get an apartment. Instead, she spent the money and to this day will not admit it. She is constantly feeding me excuses. Unfortunately, she is the reason I am homeless, and she seems to not have any heart in her to care.
Therefore, I still have no home and I have absolutely no income.
I have anxiety and obsessive compulsive disorder. This situation has elevated my anxiety attacks and is preventing me from staying optimistic like I want to be. On top of my chronic pain, I am harboring a lot of stress, and this is the way to feel better; to be out of this situation.
Update on my housing situation:
The day after Easter, I moved back into my cousin’s house after being asked to leave where I was staying. If you have followed me or read my story, you know that this can NOT be permanent for many reasons.
All of my belongings are with a friend who had to literally sneak them into her basement (if her mom’s boyfriend finds out its all down there, it won’t be pretty.)
I really need your help right now, guys. I appreciate all of the help you have given me and even more so, I appreciate the love you have offered.
I need your help reblogging and sharing and donating so that for the first time, I can have a life of my own. You will be helping my dog and I to have a home. A real, genuine, permanent (at least for now) home. I’ve moved close to 30 times in my life, and my dog has experienced that with me. She’s had to stay with so many other people through the years because we aren’t stable. (I assure you that my baby doggie is very much taken care of and always has been.) We need a home, and we need your help.
I have said this before, but I see tumblr miracles happen every day. I have hope that tumblr can help me with this situation. Please, if you see this, reblog it. Queue it for a few days from now. Perhaps share it with someone who may be able to help. I am close to begging for this, I don’t know how to keep pretending that not having a home is okay and smacking on a face of optimism when my positivity level is next to nothing. I am 20 years old and I have never been able to live my own life. I have always been bombarded with abuse and struggle and all I am asking for is a chance to escape that and to have the ability to wake up in a home of my own, with my dog laying by me, and know that for the first time, we are okay.
If you can’t donate, I completely understand. Please, please, please reblog this. Thank you for reading.
I want to also add that I am here for anyone who needs to talk, just in case someone who needs a friend sees this. I’m here, I care.