hogwarts*

MUST READ:

The Magicians by Lev Grossman 

“The Magicians is to Harry Potter as a shot of Irish whiskey is to a glass of weak tea. Solidly rooted in the traditions of both fantasy and mainstream literary fiction, the novel tips its hat to Oz and Narnia as well to Harry, but don’t mistake this for a children’s book. Grossman’s sensibilities are thoroughly adult, his narrative dark and dangerous and full of twists.  Hogwarts was never like this.” George R.R. Martin

Imagine a nihilistic Harry Potter in an adult world of college filled with love, sex, booze and drugs, this is the world Lev Grossman’s The Magicians delivers. Everybody is not so well-behaved and magic doesn’t conquer evil or bring happiness, instead magic reminds you that human beings are not so nice. High school senior Quentin Coldwater discovers this daunting reality when he enters the secretive exclusive college of magic in upstate New York, called Brakebills Academy.  

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anonymous asked:

Favorite marauderjily headcanons? xo

  • the marauders dorm room is a mess and they all wear each other’s clothes because they don’t pay attention to what they’re picking up from the floor. (when lily and james start dating, this extends to her.) by the end of their second year at hogwarts no one really knows who brought what with them and every summer they return home with a different set of robes bc they seriously can’t sort it out
  • remus is the tallest marauder, sirius and james coming in second and peter is the shortest but still v tall. they started a competition in first year to see who was the tallest and although remus and peter sort of lost interest sirius and james are very invested in it. they measure each other every term and and there’s a height chart marked on the door frame to their bathroom in gryffindor tower. at the end of seventh year, james is taller than sirius by less than an inch but sirius claims it’s just james’ hair giving him extra height.
  • lily receives piggy backs off sirius between classes. she’s the only person who’s allowed them.
  • one of the most heavily enforced marauder rule (probably the only strictly enforced marauder rule) is that no one wakes remus up. whether he’s asleep in the middle of the class, the common room, a quidditch game - no one wakes him up. instead you make sure no one else wakes him up, he doesn’t get told off and, if in class, you take extra notes for him.
  • also - remus gets the comfiest chair. always.
  • sometimes they get bored of sleeping in separate beds so they just make a massive pile of pillows and duvets and sheets in the middle of their dorm and all sleep together. they’re just a tangle of limbs and blankets.
  • the beech tree by the lake is Their Place.
  • the heads’ office is a cramped little room on the fourth floor and the door is a portrait of merlin and to get in you have to tickle his beard. it’s got two desks squashed next to each other, stacks of papers and books, a rug stolen from the gryffindor common room and a sofa that lily won’t divulge anything about. 
  • lily and james exploit the prefect bathroom to no end. sometimes they use it because it’s one of the only places they can get any privacy and really, baths kinda get them in the mood. but mostly it’s them being idiots: they like to use all the bubbles, have races, see who can hold their breath for the longest, do handstands and splash wars.
  • sirius and james love doing the crossword. they do it everyday over breakfast and, if they don’t finish it then, do it in the evening after homework. they try to beat each other’s records for finishing it. remus can usually beat them without even trying. 
  • peter is the only one of them who an actually play chess but this is a sore point for sirius who can speak 4 languages, play the piano, flute and violin, and recite at least four dozen poems that each last over 10 minutes. often sirius challenges peter to a match and then sulks for the rest of the day when he’s inevitably beaten.
  • when harry is born they all have a competition to see whose name he will say first and the lengths they go to are excessive. it’s impossible to go thirty seconds without someone cooing their name to harry in an attempt to get him to repeat it. remus also has proper conversations with harry about politics, sports and topics of general interest because he thinks “harry is the most civilized out of all of them”. no one can agree whose name harry said first.

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Oh I would never dream of assuming I know all Hogwarts’ secrets, Igor. Only this morning, for instance, I took a wrong turning on the way to the bathroom and found myself in a beautifully proportioned room I have never seen before, containing a really rather magnificent collection of chamber pots. When I went back to investigate more closely, I discovered that the room had vanished. But I must keep an eye out for it. Possibly it is only accessible at five-thirty in the morning. Or it may only appear at the quarter moon – or when the seeker has an exceptionally full bladder.
— 

Albus Dumbledore, Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire

Check out our quotes section!

Lily declining (again) going to the Yule Ball with James. James saying that it doesn’t matter, in fact, he already got someone fabulous who agreed going with him. Sirius immediately accepting the task and taking polyjuice potion on the night of the ball. James Potter appearing in the great hall with a magnificent Dumbledore beside him. They walking arm in arm through the crowd. Everybody startled but Lily (who knows perfectly well what is going on and is trying with all her soul not to laugh) and Remus (equally trying to hide his amusement). McGonagall and Dumbledore exchanging a meaningful gaze and Dumbledore quickly walking up his office and locking himself there until the end of the ball because no way he’s going to spoil such marvelous prank. McGonagall going directly to Sirius and James and taking Sirius’ hands. McGonagall winking to Sirius and saying that they have “unfinished business to attend to” in her office. Sirius so shocked that he’s just paralyzed and gazing at Remus, plea all over his face. Remus shaking his head with a spiteful smirk on his lips that obviously says “that’s why you get for chose this stupid plan instead of me”. Lily reluctantly smiling at them because “damn, Potter is such a cutie when he’s laughing like that and I have to admit that he’s ingenious”. Sirius almost being dragged until he dissapears from the great hall with McGonagall. Basically Dumbledore and McGonagall being the biggest pranksters of Hogwarts and showing who are the bosses on that castle.

9

Though a bit late in publishing May’s issue of Witch Weekly is here!

We meet with Hannah Longbottom to talk with her about what it’s like to run the now international chain of the Leaky Cauldron and where her future is leading her.

Molly’s write in will raise your hackles!

Magic and Technology: Are they really compatible?

Muggle of the Month: Khalida Brohi (watch her TEDtalk on our fully enchanted site joomag.com)

Vote in the Butterbeer Challenge at: https://www.surveymonkey.com/s/VJRQQJM

In Her Honour: Hannah writes about her mother Jane Abbott

Hogwarts students write in to the magazine to remember the students of Garissa University College in Kenya.

And Meet Our Staff!

Past Issues

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October/November

ashara-dayne now i cant stop thinking about sorting the spongebob characters in hogwarts houses because yes

  • i agree that squidward is a ravenclaw/hufflepuff i cant decide between those two but i’m leading more to hufflepuff
  • patrick star isn’t the hufflepuff type to me because he turns his back against spongebob several times and this might be because he’s stupid - BUT WAIT - we all know from some episodes that patrick is actually sometimes really intelligent? i dont know. maybe he’s a slytherin
  • spongebob is a gryffindor, hands down. i dont think he’s a ravenclaw and saying he’s a hufflepuff because he likes to help people and is kind is wrong too because sometimes he’s a piece of shit and thinks only about himself so i’d just say gryffindor
  • sandy is so gryffindor its amazing i love her
  • mr krabs is a slytherin, weve seen countless of times what shit that man does to get money and is actually very clever with doing so
  • i’d sort plankton in ravenclaw because he does know all his tech stuff. the contra side for this is that he loses all the time but we know that he kind of WANTS to lose so, yeah, ravenclaw it is
  • mrs. puff is definitely a slytherin… but then again i’m not sure. we know that she had been in prison before and i mean there are fandom theories that she killed her husband mr. puff and i’m not saying that all slytherins are evil but just think about it. she also changed her name + tries to kill spongebob countless of times
  • larry the lobster is just as sandy a pure gryffindor 
  • GARY IS SUCH A RAVENCLAW this isnt even a debate 100% ravenclaw
  • and so is karen plankton… you could say she is also hufflepuff because of her loyality to plankton but then again she’s a computer… designed by him
  • pearl is actually really hard? i have no idea. maybe a gryffindor? 
  • barnacle boy is probably a ravenclaw/slytherin while mermaid man is gryffindor/hufflepuff… oh what ships are made of lmao

anonymous asked:

Solangelo at Hogwarts AU

  • On the day of sorting, Will sees Nico for the first time sitting on a stool waiting for the sorting hat to be placed on his head. With legs swinging back and forth, dark hair in tangles, and a huge grin on his face, Nico waves to an older girl sitting at the Gryffindor table. When the sorting hat yells, “Gryffindor!” Nico leaps off the stool and strides proudly to the Gryffindor table where his sister is waiting. When Will gets sorted into Gryffindor too, Will smiles to himself, thinking of how he’ll get to see the boy everyday. 
  • At the end of the year, it is announced that Nico’s sister, Bianca has died during a trip to the forest. Will scans the room for Nico, but he’s nowhere in sight. In his search for the boy, Will barely hears Dumbledore annouce that the forest is now forbidden. 
  • In Will’s third year, he is called to Dumbledore’s office. Gently he is told that his brother Michael is dead. He runs wildly to the first empty classroom he can find, and cries until he has no tears left. When he leaves, his face is hard as stone. He is determined to be brave for his siblings, even if that means ignoring his own feelings. 
  • In their fourth year, Will begins to volunteer in the infirmary. For some reason, Nico, the boy he’d almost forgotten, seems to come in everyday with a new injury. They talk while Will bandages Nico’s arm or leg or whatever body part he managed to hurt this time. Soon, Will notices Nico has started coming to the infirmary not for healing, but to just talk.
  • By the end of fourth year, Will and Nico are inseparable. Rumors spread that they’re dating. Unknown to everyone, the rumors are true. Stolen kisses in an unlocked classroom, holding hands under desks, and picnics under the stars are their secret ways of saying I love you.


    (send me an au and i’ll give you 5+ headcanons about it)

Though not as famously treacherous as the library of the Laveau Institute, the shelves at Salem still have dangers lurking within. Many of the collections bear protections as ancient as any found back at Hogwarts, with Freeze-Finger Curses, Jabber Jinxes, and Halfsighted Hexes awaiting students who nose in where they ought not venture. 

The books of the Reverend Praise-God-For-Our-Deliverance Thorwimple (1628-1702), however, have a different, yet equally troublesome habit. The good Reverend was known for his reticence and modesty, as well as for struggling to reconcile his faith with his magical abilities. Over the centuries, his books have developed the quality of bursting into flame if they think anyone’s paying too much attention to them. Students are advised not to leave them open for more than ten minutes at a time. As such, his astute observations on the magical flora of New England are rather less well-known than they deserve to be.