Slew of new alcohol rules unveiled by the navy to clamp down on drinking culture.

“Ships, at sea and docked, will go dry and sailors won’t be able to splurge on duty-free booze, or cigarettes, when overseas.”

They could DO THAT?!?!! Damn I should have joined the New Zealand Navy! Not now, clearly they’re just becoming the US Navy now.

Psst, New Zealand, just fyi, this isn’t going to change ANYTHING about “a small number of people [who] had been getting into fights, drink-driving and acting inappropriately around members of the public.” We got dry ships in Murica and the stupid sailors still get busted for that shit.

Fun fact: New Zealand ships are called HMNZS Insert-ship-name-here: Her Majesty’s New Zealand Ship Insert-ship-name-here. Ah the commonwealth, so silly.