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家に帰ると妻が必ず死んだふりをしています (When I Get Home My Wife Always Pretends to be Dead) ver. 【全部俺】 (Hidesuke)

WAHAHAHAHA! I’m sorry, I can’t help it…XD

doa o aketara tsuma ga taorete ‘ru
senaka ni tsukisasaru houchou
yuka wa chimamire
shiranai hito ga mitara kizetsu suru ka mo shirenai

boku ga ochitsuite
“kyou no wa souji ga taihensou da” to warau to
tsuma wa utsubuse no mama manzokusou ni
kukuku to waratte ‘ta

ie ni kaeru to tsuma ga kanarazu
shinda furi o shite imasu
asu wa donna shinikata shite iru no ka
yosou sura dekinai

aru hi wa atama ni ya ga sasatte ‘tari
gunpuku de juu kakaete ‘tari
manbou no kigurumi ga shide ‘ta toki wa
doa shimeyou ka to omotta

atokatazuke mo kekkou taihen de
yuka no chinori o arattari
ya ga sasatta mama bangohan tsukuru no wa
kanben shite hoshii

ie ni kaeru to tsuma ga kanarazu
shinda furi o shite imasu
chotto homeru to choushi ni noru kara
dekiru dake suruu de

kekkon-mae wa isogashikute mo
kanojo ni au dake de tanoshikatta
tetsuya de kuruma ate mo naku tobashite
umi mi ni ittari shita no ni

kekkon chokugo hajimete buka o mochi
shigoto ga totemo tanoshiku natta
ie de hitori de matsu tsuma no kimochi o
kangaete inakatta

ie ni kaeru to tsuma ga kanarazu
shinda furi o shite ‘ru no wa
ano koro no futari ni modoritai kara ka
boku ni wa wakaranai

ie ni kaetta boku o matte ‘ru
tsuma no engi miru koto ga
bokura futari no ai no katachi naraba
sore wa sore de ari darou

ie ni kaeru to tsuma ga kanarazu
shinda furi o shite imasu
kyou wa donna shinikata shite iru no ka
kitai shite akeru doa

When I open the door there’s my wife on the floor,
The carpet’s all bloody.
If a stranger saw this, they might faint.
I remain calm.
“Looks like the cleanup will be tough today,” I laugh
And still facedown but looking satisfied
My wife laugh, “ku-ku-ku”

When I get home my wife always pretends to be dead
What kind of death she’ll have tomorrow
I can’t even begin to imagine.

One day she had an arrow through her head
Another time dressed as a soldier with a gun
The time I saw her in a dead sunfish costume
I thought I’d close the door on her.
Cleaning up afterward is quite a pain
Having to wash the bloodstains from the carpet and all
So I wish she’d spare me the sight of her
Cooking dinner with an arrow in her head.

When I get home my wife always pretends to be dead
If I compliment her a bit she gets all caught up in it
So I do my best to ignore it.

Before we married, though I was busy
Just being able to see her made me happy
We’d drive around aimlessly all night
And go see the ocean, and yet…
Right after we married I got promoted
And suddenly work became so much fun.
I didn’t even think about how my wife felt,
Waiting all alone at home.

My wife pretending to be dead whenever I come home
Is it because she wants to return to how we used to be?
I just don’t know.
If coming home to see my wife’s performance waiting for me
Is the shape our love will take
I guess that works in its own way.

When I get home my wife always pretends to be dead
I wonder what kind of death she’ll have today
I just can’t wait as I open the door.






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