henry-the-viii

Elizabeth Woodville, Queen of England 

1437-1492 

Elizabeth was the wife of King Edward IV and the mother of Elizabeth of York, and was therefore the grandmother of the Tudor Dynasty. Through her great-great granddaughter Mary Queen of Scots she is an ancestress of all British monarchs since Henry VIII. 

She is described by contemporaries as “the most beautiful woman in the Island of Britain.” 

1. you have a toothbrush in her bathroom. you have a toothbrush in her bathroom and a hair brush in her drawer and her mom knows you don’t like rice so she always makes noodles instead when you’re over. you talk in the dark and her soft breath on your collarbone makes you want to cry. don’t.

2. she always falls asleep before the movie’s finished so you pause it before the climax. you always let her sleep for 20 minutes before poking her in the ribs. she giggles awake and pushes you off the couch. laugh, but don’t look. the crinkles next to her eyes will make it too hard to sleep tonight.

3. she’s on your bed sighing every 45 seconds about algebra and you’re on your computer scrolling through the wikipedia article for Henry VIII. she goes down the stairs without a word and comes back with two cups of chocolate milk; your favorite. thank her, turn back around and close your eyes. try as hard as you can not to kiss her. succeed.

4. you’re at an end of school party that she dragged you to. she spent the first hour and a half glued to your side but then she got distracted and hasn’t come back to where you’re stitched into the corner of a couch playing tetris on your phone. she finds you and wordlessly pulls you away, a manic smile smeared across her lips. she pulls you into the woods where no one can hear you and you can’t see her. she tells you how she made out with some soccer-playing idiot boy who doesn’t deserve her time of day. she says it was amazing, describes it in detail and your ears start ringing. be glad she can’t see you. look up at the stars all bleary-eyed, chest split wide open and curse every god you can name for giving this girl to you. you deserved better. even I know that.

5. forgive her.

6. when she sits next to you at lunch, give her your applesauce. she always forgets how much she loves it and it will make her kiss your cheek. take that kiss and press it deep into your bloodied heart so you can pull it back out when the monsters come to play at night. they’ll tell you she’ll never love you. show them the kiss and tell them she already does.

—  how to pretend to be straight for her, vol. 2, by windy sharpe
Shakespeare's (English) Histories
  • King John:There is no freaking reference to the Magna Carta. WTF?
  • Richard II:He cries a lot. Also, thinks he's Jesus.
  • Henry IV Part 1:Everyone's name is Henry. Except for Falstaff.
  • Henry IV Part 2:Hal realizes what a jerk he's been.
  • Henry V:A bunch of Nationalistic Pride followed by some awkward wooing.
  • Henry VI Part 1:might be Shakespeare's first play? We can tell.
  • Henry VI Part 2:If we're being honest, we've all forgotten what happens in which Henry.
  • Henry VI Part 3:God, this play is long. OH! A New King.
  • Richard III:Evil. Evil. Evil. OH look! A Tudor! Aren;t they Great ;)
  • Henry VIII:GOD SAVE THE QUEEN! SHE IS SO GREAT! LET ME WRITE A POEM TO HER GREATNESS!
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The Queen Meme → Anne Boleyn, Queen of England (1533-1536)

Anne Boleyn was Queen of England from 1533 to 1536 and second wife to Henry VIII of the House of Tudor. The relationship between Henry and Anne tore apart England, as Lady Anne Boleyn refused to have a carnal relationship with the King unless she was his Queen which thus meant that Henry would have to set aside his first wife, Catherine of Aragon. Henry was infatuated with Anne, and sought an annulment from his first wife, who hadn’t secured the throne with the birth of a son - instead presenting him with a sickly daughter born in 1516 who would become Mary I. Henry argued that due to Catherine’s past marriage to Henry’s brother, and that the marriage had been consummated (a claim Catherine always denied), he sought an annulment from the Pope. However the Pope never granted the annulment, and thus England separated from papal authority and Henry VIII became the head of the Church of England. 

Anne Boleyn was at the heart of the reformation, and held great influence over the King. She received diplomats and influenced favour, while also introducing the King to materials that had once been considered heresy, such as Tyndale’s work. She was also the Marquess of Pembroke in her own right, making her the most powerful woman in England before she was even Queen - it was the first hereditary title granted to a woman. When she became Queen of England in 1533 after a secret marriage ceremony, Anne was quick to produce Henry with an heir but it was a girl born in September of 1533. Not the son Henry risked everything for, Anne attempted to give the King a son twice afterwards but both pregnancies ended in miscarriage. However, her daughter would one day become Queen Elizabeth I. 

In 1536, Thomas Cromwell began to plot the downfall of Anne after her interference with Church revenue - arguing that the revenue, which Cromwell was taking a percentage of, should be redistributed to education and charity. Anne would be soon be charged with adultery, incest and treason - charges that are now considered products of injustice - and she, along with four men (including her brother George) were sentenced to death. While waiting for her executioner to arrive, Anne had exclaimed: “I heard say the executioner was very good, and I have a little neck.”

On May 19th, 1536, Anne Boleyn was beheaded by a French swordsman.

“She then turned to her ladies, who had ascended the scaffold with her, and told them not to be sorry to see her die, begging their pardon for any harshness towards them, praying them to take comfort for her loss, and admonishing them to ‘be always faithful to her whom with happier fortune ye may have as your queen and mistress.’ Anne then gave her prayer book to Lady Lee; entitled The Hours of the Blessed Virgin Mary, it had been made and illuminated for Anne in France around 1528, and she had inscribed it: ‘Remember me when you do pray, that hope doth lead from day to day.’”

The Six Wives of Henry VIII, Alison Weir

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On this day in History → Anne Boleyn, the Queen of England, is executed (d. 19 May, 1536)

Anne Boleyn was Henry VIII’s second wife, who is known for being one of the reasons Henry annulled his first marriage with Catherine of Aragon and broke with Papal authority to lead the Church of England, making her a key figure in the English reformation. Anne was charged with adultery, incest and high treason - charges that are now considered unjust and ‘unconvincing’ - and was sentenced to death on the 15th of May. Four days later, Anne was executed by a French swordsman. It only took a single stroke, and Anne was dead. Her body was buried in an old elm wood arrow chest in the Chapel of St Peter ad Vincula. Her grave was unmarked until 1876. 

Anne was Queen for three years, bearing one daughter. That daughter, who was declared illegitimate while Anne was awaiting execution, would become Elizabeth I. 

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It is thought that Anne was trying to explain her argument with Henry Norris, to entreat Henry to listen to her and understand that she did no wrong. Whatever the truth of what this scene was about, Anne’s appeal to her husband was not successful and she was taken to the Tower just a few days later, never to see her husband or daughter again. Anne’s final speech at her execution showed no defiance, which would threaten the safety and well being of her daughter, but instead showed the submissiveness which was expected of a convicted traitor. Anne’s last act as a mother was to bite her tongue, to accept her punishment and to protect her beloved daughter. (x(x)