I need to know if this is normal. My job has me so stressed out, that I lie awake in bed until 4 or 5 in the morning, unable to sleep even when I am both mentally and physically exhausted.
I don’t know how to turn my brain off. For the first time in years, I had a legitimate panic attack at work. I couldn’t breathe, couldn’t think, and couldn’t stop crying.
My managers keep sprouting bull shit about how I need to ask them more questions and how they’re always available, and then they either give me incorrect information when i do ask, or they never help me at all. And then I get in trouble for not filling out an order correctly when no one would clarify it for me, even when I specifically asked about it to my managers face. But of course she’ll tell me that she doesn’t ever remember me saying I don’t know how to change a wound vac, even though I’ve been asking someone to show me for two weeks.
But, wound vacs aside, I know that nursing is a stressful job, and administration often leaves a lot to be desired, but I need to know if this is standard. Do I just need to suck it up and accept the fact that no one ever gets as much orientation as they feel they need, or is there something really wrong here?
Because i was finally starting to feel like I’m good at my job. And yesterday I was told that I’m not. I have potential, sure, but right now I’m just not cutting it.
That’s what they tell me anyway. Don’t really know what to do from here. I can’t find the support I need to keep my license safe at this job. I may have a lead on another position, so I guess it’s time to be aggressive. No more Miss Nice Applicant. I need a new job, and I need it now.
Because when one of the managers catches you having a panic attack in the supply room, the appropriate response is not “You know, I had to go on Xanax for a while after starting this job”
Any input would be much appreciated. I feel like I’m drowning all the time. I know new grad stress is normal, but where do I draw the line?