When we were in Jamaica there was lots and lots of lots of fucking and sucking going on all around us. At any given moment you could catch random blow jobs and pussies getting eaten as well as lots of PDA’s and the occasional full on sex.

And none of that bothers me. I am very sex friendly and consider myself a voyeur and love watching people turned on and happy and enjoying themselves in paradise. However, what bothered me…what ALWAYS bothers me…is that there are sooo many people who are not practicing safe sex.

I am pretty sure I witnessed a husband, who knew his wife was inebriated and not paying attention, fuck another guest of the resort without a condom, right in the jacuzzi, while his wife was away getting pizza or smoking a cigarette or otherwise disengaged and not aware of his activities and all I could do was stare dumb founded and try to ignore the ball of UGH that was in my belly because I instantly started thinking and OMG I HATE THINKING WHEN I’M ON VACATION. I started thinking about his wife. The girl he was fucking. The girls he’s fucked before this trip, or on this trip or who he will fuck directly AFTER this trip. I started wondering if swinging when there is unlimited access to bottomless booze and drugs is a good thing. A sexy thing. A smart thing.

Sex is a beautiful thing and sex on a Caribbean island can cross over into magical if done right, but where is the play book? And if there is one… Is anyone even fucking reading it? 

Because swinging is still sex with a stranger and even though you’re drunk or happy and in a different area code and feeling all “free love-y” and shit with your inner hippie in paradise…bad things can still happen if you are not safe and sadly..I didn’t see any one who seemed overly concerned and that right there makes me want to wrap myself in latex before we venture out to any lifestyle parties or trips because there is no orgasm out there, worth dying for.

Even if it does come with a tan and a side of jerk chicken.