Be aware of anyone you are willing to sacrifice sleep to talk with.

They’re similar to drinking coffee. In overwhelming you, in awaking your senses, in sneaking into your system till you’re addicted, in stimulating your cravings..

And once they go, once they decide to run. All you have is the memories. All you have is your thoughts.

And believe me when I say, my thoughts of him, have kept me awake more that caffeine ever did.

—  Anonymous

i. “yes, i know you loved him, but do you have to be so sad all the time?”

ii. when the window breaks, you stand in the pieces and feel like a goddess. you almost laugh. your mother says, “this isn’t poetic. your heart isn’t glass, kid.”

iii. you kiss nitroglycerin boys and copper kettle girls. your teeth stain. it’s okay.

iv. she asks you to stop writing such sad things, so you stop showing her your poetry. she later asks if your okay. you change the subject quickly.

v. you call him and hang up. you call him, breathe into his voicemail, hang up. you call him, say “FUCK YOU FOR LETTING ME FEEL EVERYTHING WHEN YOU KNEW I’D FEEL NOTHING VERY VERY SOON,” he changes his number.

vi. snow falls, and you stand in it until your hair frizzes. you come inside but you can’t get warm, and that’s okay.

vii. so quiet, the stillness of a winter heart. you don’t even care that all you have has fallen apart.

—  fawn // r.i.d
When you hurt somebody who loves you it’s not your betrayal you should be sorry for. The pain you’ve inflicted will be severe but it will pass. No, the cruellest legacy you can leave on a person is the crippling belief that the rest of the world is as selfish and disloyal as you.
—  Beau Taplin || Look what you’ve done. 

I. do not text him. he lied when you said the two of you could stay friends, don’t act so surprised. and if you do text him, absolutely do not tell him that you miss him because you don’t, not really. he would not have torn your heart apart like this when you first met, the boy you miss no longer exists.

II. follow his damn Instagram, you can’t avoid his memory forever. and when he posts a picture of her, saying he loves her more than anything he’s ever loved before, stare until that tree-branch feeling in your gut turns to ash and gets swept away.

III. stand in front of the mirror, look in your own eyes and think his name. think about how it tasted at 2:36 in the morning, think about when you said it and he would come running. when the thoughts don’t turn your stomach inside out, say it out loud. you need to learn how to hear it and not flinch.

IV. please remember that your body is made up of 37 trillion cells, but some people say it’s only 15 trillion. he didn’t know any better. he could not have possibly known any better. find someone who cares enough to remind you to take your pills.

V. you will laugh and it will hurt. this is good. keep laughing, keep hurting. I want you to cry until they mistake the rivers flowing from beneath your bedroom door for the bottom of the ocean. sink your feet in the sand, baby, because that’s the only way you will be able to push yourself back up.

VI. read a book that reminds you of everything you ever loved about him. then read a book and fall in love with someone who is completely the opposite. sweetheart, all you need is some perspective.

VII. kiss other boys but do not kiss them all. do not lose respect for your body because he decided to leave it out in the cold. you are still so special. do not let them take that from you because he was too stupid to let you down easy. you can dream about breaking their hearts but don’t actually do it because that won’t break his.

VIII. grind your teeth and get the hell out of bed. this is not a war, this is your life. you’re not a hero, you’re not a victim, and neither is he. so stop believing that you need to be saved because in case you haven’t noticed your head is above water. that’s all that counts. being above water.

—  this is moving on and this is still painful