1. Don’t kiss him until he takes you on a proper date. Parked in an empty lot under a poorly lit street lamp doesn’t count. He needs to ask you out to the movies, to the new italian restaurant in town. He needs to earn a piece of you. Don’t just give yourself away.
2. Don’t apologize when it isn’t your fault. He’s going to be wrong too. And when he does something that causes your lungs to deflate and your ribs to crack don’t tell him that you’re sorry. Don’t take the blame for him. It may take a while but if he’s worth it he’ll acknowledge his mistake and take responsibility.
3. Make sure you’re comfortable. Whether it’s being comfortable with how quickly you’re taking the relationship, or being comfortable in front of him without a face of makeup on, you need to be comfortable. If he can’t accept the boundaries you’ve set he’s no good. And if he can’t accept the fact that you’re just as beautiful without a mask drawn by what society wants to see than he’s definitely no good.
4. He isn’t everything you need. It may seem like the loving words he speaks and the warmth of his skin are all you need in life but that isn’t true. And don’t make it true. Because when you put all of your happiness in someone, you give them the power to make or break you. Instead of filling your heart with late night texts from him, fill your heart with good music and bad jokes. He isn’t everything you need. Movie marathons with friends and homemade chocolate chip cookies are just as good as boys. Plus the cookies hurt less when they’re gone.
5. Make new memories. No matter how hard you try you won’t be able to forget how his lips felt on yours as you sat on your couch that summer evening. And every time you walk out onto that goddamn porch images of him will flash into your head. Your body will freeze up and your heart will ache for a bit but theres a way to cure it. Make new memories in those areas of pain. Have a sleepover and pile onto that stupid couch as you and your girlfriends watch a horror movie. You’ll find yourself remembering the ear piercing screams instead of how he tasted. Wake up early and watch the sunrise with your mother over a cup of tea. She’ll always be there for you and the next time you stand on that porch you’ll remember the color of the morning sky instead of the color of his eyes.
6. Realize there’s someone better. It may hurt to hear it, and you may deny it thinking no boy’s hand will ever fit with yours the way his did. You may think that no boys laugh will ever ignite your insides the way his did, but there definitely is someone better out there. You want a boy who puts you on top of the world, not six feet under. You want a boy to leave traces of himself on your heart, not your skin. You want a boy to love you for you, not your body. No matter how much you think you love him, I promise someday you’ll love someone else even more. And he’ll love you back just as much.
6 things I told my friend to remember when it comes to boys