There was definitely news coverage of the events of Code Geass, and they were probably much more serious than this, but let’s just say a Britannian newspaper somehow managed to completely avoid the censor. What kind of headlines might be churned up?
1. TERRORISTS TO BE WEEDED OUT FROM SHINJUKU
Prince Clovis has decreed the best way to eliminate terrorism is to commit mass genocide of their race. Another excellent idea from his Highness!
2. CEASEFIRE AT SHINJUKU
Following the revelation that these terrorists are actually competent, Prince Clovis has changed his mind and ordered a ceasefire. Elevens are hardly worthy of our Prince’s mercy.
3. PRINCE CLOVIS IS DEAD
The nation is in mourning for the loss of our beloved Prince Clovis. Margrave Jeremiah has stated: “it was probably an Eleven”.
4. CLOVIS’S ASSASSIN FOUND
Suzaku Kururugi, an Eleven. No-one is surprised.
5. WAIT NO ZERO DID IT
He may also be an Eleven. It’s hard to tell since we all speak in Japanese for some reason.
6. PRINCESSES CORNELIA AND EUPHEMIA ASSUME THE POSITIONS OF VICEROY AND SUB-VICEROY OF AREA 11
Princess Cornelia returns from kicking terrorist ass in Area 18 to kick terrorist ass here, in our very own Area 11! We look forward to the ass-kicking to come! Oh, and Princess Euphemia too, we guess.
7. SAITAMA = SHINKUKU 2.0?
We beg Princess Cornelia to not change her mind and call a ceasefire! We’re running out of Royals.
8. THE RETURN OF ZERO
We’ve got him this time!
9. ZERO ESCAPES
10. JLF HOLD HOTEL HOSTAGE
Let this be a reminder to all you sympathisers out there - terrorists are very evil!
11. BLACK KNIGHTS SAVE HOTEL
…But they’re still evil.
12. BLACK KNIGHTS CRACK DOWN ON DRUG TRADE
Reports indicate that Zero is very easily distracted.
13. CORNELIA CORNERS JLF AT NARITA
So long as nobody intervenes, victory should be certain!
14. HOLY SWORDS SHOW UP AT NARITA
So the tide is wavering, but victory is still within our reach!
15. ZERO SHOWS UP AT NARITA
The Daily Imperialist regrets to inform our readers that the Britannian Army may be screwed.
16. BLACK KNIGHTS FALL BACK
We of course were never in doubt of Britannian victory!
17. BATTLE AT PORT YOKOSUKA
The JLF are fighting for one final push, but our brave soldiers are boarding the enemy ship as this is written!
18. ZERO BLOWS UP EVERYONE
19. ARMED CRIMINAL SHOT MULTIPLE TIMES BY POLICE
The criminal, named “Mao”, is now undergoing treatment at the local hospital. His recovery seems very, very unlikely.
20. MAO RECOVERS SOMEHOW
Reports suggest that the police were so impressed they let him free.
21. MAO MURDERED(?)
“Generally a gunshot wound to the head would guarantee death,” doctors say, “But you can never tell with that guy.”
22. BLACK KNIGHTS ATTEMPT PRISON BREAK
Kyoshiro Tohdoh, leader of the Four Holy Swords, has been sprung out of jail. However, a mysterious white knightmare is now opposing them!
23. SUZAKU KURURUGI DECLARED PRINCESS EUPHEMIA’S KNIGHT
Suzaku Kururugi, an HONORARY Britannian - that is, an Eleven in disguise - has been knighted. Hopefully Princess Euphemia will feel better tomorrow and sack him immediately.
24. BLACK KNIGHTS RUIN PRINCESS EUPHEMIA’S ISLAND GETAWAY
“What a bunch of party poopers” says Earl Asplund.
25. SCHNEIZEL BLOWS UP EVERYONE
With much more style than Zero, obviously.
26. WAIT, EVERYONE IS ALIVE
Kururugi yet to be disciplined for clear insubordination. Sources suggest this is because Princess Euphemia might have “a bit of a thing for him”.
27. EXILED JAPANESE GOVERNMENT STAGE INVASION
Britannia is currently fighting back with a single Knightmare. Clearly the threat is not to be taken seriously.
28. ZERO AND KURURUGI TEAM UP AGAINST SAWASAKI
Everybody confused as to what Zero is actually trying to do here.
29. JAPANESE INVASION FORCE DEFEATED BY TWO KNIGHTMARES
Sawasaki has been reported to be very embarrassed.
30. PRINCESS EUPHEMIA DECLARES SPECIALLY ADMINISTRATED ZONE OF JAPAN
“That’s a terrible idea”, says everyone. We however remain unbiased.
31. SPECIAL ZONE OFFICIAL OPENING
We’re not saying that this is going to go horribly wrong, but it might be implied.
32. IT WENT HORRIBLY WRONG
We may not be the most pro-Eleven newspaper, but…wow, Euphemia.
33. ZERO DECLARES FORMATION OF UNITED STATES OF JAPAN
“I can’t think why, but it just sounds oddly familiar”, one passer-by was noted to have said.
34. ZERO INITIATES “BLACK REBELLION”
The entire country is in upheaval. This may be our last issue as our editors return to the Homeland.
35. ZERO MISSING FROM THE BATTLEFIELD
Looks like publication can continue!