he-and-the-lab-look-like-shit

Spent a lot of time with a different tutor in the math lab today, and she was great and super helpful and understanding.

She said “you’ll get an A. You look ready for your quiz.” I explained to her that I can’t test for shit and that I routinely screw up even the simplest problems because I can’t focus.

And she said “get a doctor to write a note saying you have test anxiety. If you present that to your teacher he will have no choice but to give you more time to take your tests.”

HALLELUJER, PRAISE JESUS, I AM CALLING MY DOCTOR.

20 questions - neopets pt.1
  • why the FFQ such a stingy ass ho
  • fuck is wrong with the pet pet lab kookith, why he always hissing and shit
  • why lennys always look like they fucking smart
  • fuck is the point of jelly world, like why yall try to act like it dont exist 
  • http://www.neopets.com/jelly/greenjelly.phtml what the fuck is this
  • why poogle racing not considered a negative neo-societal norm
  • why my neopets aint dead when i aint feed them since 2009
  • where my jelly blob of doom movie at (i remember dat shit)
  • where adam go
  • why yall even add lutari island when it aint shit
  • what under dr sloths jacket
  • why jhudora and illusen got beef, wher da video of dat shit at
  • why the kings of meridell and brightvale gotta be heavy
  • why the fruit machine aint never do shit
  • what the fuck kind of neopet is the snowager
  • what the fuck is this for http://www.neopets.com/prehistoric/thebeast.phtml 
  • where dat rich slorg get all his np from, he been hooking it up since 2002
  • why the money tree gotta face?, why he gotta mouth? i aint never herd him talk before
  • what the tombola man look like without dat mask
  • toss back keyquest (not a question but fuck it)

oh my god okay so there’s this kid in my chemistry class who sits behind me and looks at my laptop over my shoulder and shit he’s super nosy and gross

but the other day I was working on a lab and I had come to class late (I d o a lot because of my medical situation) and this kid has the nerve to walk up and ask “why do you always come in so late???”

and like I was planning on cussing him out which would have been pretty fun

but instead I put this heartbroken look on my face and went “I- I have medical issues”

he looked mortified and shut up pretty damn fast it was great

basically we did a lab last week and it involved holding a 2L full bottle with one hand and i could hold it for 1minute and 19 seconds and he was looking at the results and he was like “oh shit are you superwoman” and smiled at me which made me panIC OMG

also he literally kept looking at me today and i was just like?? i kept looking at the wall today and i could literally feel his eyes on me i disnt know what to do

anyways so later my friend(that sits in te front) told me that hE HAD A BONER IN CLASS???????
??????????????
lITERALLY WHAT
????

and like he literally WAS looking at me more than usual so like??
what the heck???
WHAT THE HELL

mint-chocolate15 asked:

Zhu Li Moon and Varrick

OH MY GOSH OK SO….

collects rocks

VARRICK! but only the best rocks and the “inspiring” ones that will fuel his creative juices and Zhu Li always just like rolls her eyes at the ridiculous collection that they have but she’s always on the lookout for a rock that he might like

takes pictures of the other while they’re asleep

Zhu Li probably would and let’s be real it’s probably because Varrick looks terrible when he’s sleeping. so she has this whole like instagram account of pics of him sleeping where his hair is messed up and he’s drooling and everyone loves it cause whenever he’s being a little annoying they can just think of how ridiculous he looks sleeping and he doesn’t even have a clue about it

gets drunk and breaks shit

Varrick. he also gets inspired to experiment and create things so they go through a lot of lab equipment

can’t swim

Varrick and it’s getting embarrassing so he’s signed himself up for lessons

remembers to feed the fish

VARRICK. i feel like he loves the fish and like has special little names for all of them and Zhu Li likes to watch him take care of them because she was nervous about letting him get them because if he can’t take care of fish how will he take care of a baby but he’s really proving himself

puts up Christmas decorations in November

Zhu Li. she loves decorating. she goes all out for every season but Christmas is her favorite and on their first Christmas together she decorates all at once one night and Varrick wakes up to a shit load of Christmas and it’s November 1st Zhu Li! is yelled like 5 times so after that she has to do it gradually so that he doesn’t notice until it’s too late

sends inappropriate texts and SnapChats while the other is in a meeting

Zhu Li. she thinks it’s hilarious. they’re usually just texts because typically she’ll be in the meeting with him but that’s even better cause she gets to watch his reaction and how red he gets

makes Sims just to drown them in the pool

Varrick. whenever he’s mad at someone for messing up a plan of his or just anything really he’ll make them in the Sims and immediately drown them.

brings the other coffee at work

Both. old habits die hard for Zhu Li but Varrick is finally reciprocating. they take turns. it’s adorable

takes gym locker room selfies

Zhu Li. she’s been going to the gym with Asami and taking a selfie together before and after their workout and sending it to their significant others has become tradition

signs them up for tennis lessons and a salsa-making class

Varrick. he loves salsa and it was a buy one get one half off deal so

forgets to charge the other’s iPad and leaves it dead on the coffee table

Zhu Li. the first time she did it Varrick got frustrated and was like Zhu Li you were supposed to do the thing and she just stares at him. she’s done it so many times now though that Varrick is in the middle of inventing a battery guaranteed to stay charged up to a year

the bio department at my school is in this early 20th century building that looks like its interior decorators were just Edwardian scientists so it’s full of skulls and taxidermy and weird scientific illustrations and shit

today my professor took us out into the hallway and showed us a secret compartment built into the wall where the lab key is hidden so we can work after hours.  he cautioned us to be careful because we can’t let facilities management know where it is or they’ll lock us out 

ngc6822 asked:

26 and 27 or 28. this almost seems like a logic problem. lolll.

26.Suppose you see your ex kissing another person what would you do?
Feel sorry for the person he’s kissing. My ex is a doucheee.

27.Do you plan on moving out within the next year?
If I find a good job maybe! I was looking at forensic lab positions in the Raleigh area actually

28.Are you a forgiving person?
Not really. I can be, but it takes me awhile and a sincere apology which most people don’t believe in anymore. They just wanna pretend the shit they did never happened. Like we can just go on. Nah

Theory time

Okay so I was remembering dexter’s laboratory and the powerpuff girls, and…I was thinking how does dexter get all the resources to build all of those stuffs and why only Townsville had monsters, so…I made a theory that the professor was making some weird atomic shit that went out of control, and the mayor told him to fix it, so…trying to fix that shit he accidentally create the girls. Now, for dexter, as he was a young genius, he could create a lot of shit, chemicals…like the chemical-x, so…what if professor, seeing himself in trouble, found out that there was this kid that was a genius and was looking for resources for a lab, so he asked for him for something to help him fix the disaster, so, as dexter create the chemical, the professor, with funds that the mayor gave him for fix the shit, gave them to dexter, so that way he could create the lab, now…going way to far, what if dexter want it to tell this to the media, but the mayor found out and he started paying him for not saying anything, which it would explain how dexter get all of the resources.

So Idk, if this theory already exist tell me, or tell me if I’m crazy or something or what do you think about the theory, I’m really bored so I thought in this, bye.

i need to look hot af tomorrow. like i usually do, but like

i need to step my shit up cus im gonna make this boy mine like i aint taking no for an answer. i need to look so good. i need to look good enough so he asks me what im doin after lab and then im just gonna look at him and say ‘you’ like gurl i aint even playin like

gur l

When you need to take stealth shitting lessons - I rely on my humble assistant, Salomon, the 100 pound Black Labrador that instantly transforms himself into a Chihuahua, camouflages himself and seamlessly  blends into nature like a stealth panther. Look, he’s so elegant & natural I can’t even see him. Where’d he go?

I love playing “Where’s Waldo” games and cleaning up poop dripping from branches on dog training sessions. It makes them that much more challenging & dynamic. Who wants to simply pick up poop off the ground?! Where’s the fun in that, I ask you?


TAG A CRAZY SHITTER IN YOUR LIFE

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(at Espanola Way Village Miami Beach)

The most awkward shit in my life

Kindergarden: I really like this boy named James and I wanted to marry that boy so I forced my way on to his sleeping cot and spooned him.


5th grade: A boy was wanking and I asked what he was doing and he told me to look. I did. I will never unsee that.

5th grade: A guy that I liked (he was super cute) sat next to me in the computer lab. We were talking and he made me laugh. I farted. Then he asked, “What was that?” I smiled awkwardly and replied, “I have no idea.” 

6th grade: I needed to pee and there were too many girls in the girls bathroom. So I went to the boys bathroom. There were boys in there. 

7th grade: I really liked one of my best friends (he’s still my best friend and we’re both Junoirs now) and he dated one of our mutal friends and I cried in front of him and she told him to give me a kiss. So he did. On my cheek. How cute. 

8th grade: I liked this one fucking douche bag (he’s really awful) and becuase I liked him so much I did everything he asked of me. Need a piece of paper? Sure here. Want me to refill your water bottle? No problem. One day I gave him a pencil he needed but he wouldn’t give it back. I persisted asking him for it and then he broke it in half. I cried. 

9th grade: I was just awkward and nerdy and unliked.

10th grade: Same but now I had a boyfriend (cobalt-blue-hue)

11th grade: NOW I hang out with a bunch of nerdy guys and “popular” guys and they are all attractive (including my boyfriend) and I’m the most clumsiest piece of shit and its so embarrassing. 

Guys: story. Okay so. During dinner, one way or another my dog escaped. I spent like 2 hours standing in my friend’s car with half my body chilling out the sunroof looking for her. Lo and behold, while an innocent young man was delivering pizzas, he left his car door open and one fat old chocolate lab snuck her way in and waited patiently for a car ride fuck this dog I had a heart attack over this shit.

Anyone remember the name of that fic...?

There was a Captain America fic I read months and months ago that I’ve been desperately trying to find again with no success. It was set in the 40s with the Howlies. 

Basically, the military higher ups do a lot of grumbling about Steve having a desegregated team, so he makes a deal with them. He’ll let them use him as a lab rat to their evil hearts’ content (like, serious medical torture level shit) as long as they leave his team alone. 

Of course, the Howlies notice that every few months he disappears for a couple of days and comes back looking like he was just fed through a woodchipper, but he pretends nothing is wrong and refuses to tell them anything. Eventually they figure it out though, and put a stop to it.

Can anyone remember the fic I’m talking about? I’m not even sure if I read it on Ao3 or FF.net, but I strongly suspect the latter. I could be wrong though.

So last night was a bad night for me, and in the midst of having a mental breakdown in a computer lab at 9:30 at night, I decided “fuck this, I’m fucking ordering a pizza”

So I order it and go back to my mental meltdown, not even thinking.

Well an hour later the pizza guy calls and says he’s at the front door so I stand up, wipe my eyes, slap my face, take a deep breath, and go to get said pizza, well aware that I probably looked like a load of shit.

I let him in and while I sign the receipt he is just chattering on, super friendly, about the weather and the people in my dorm hall. As we trade receipt for pizza he catches sight of my face and, as he hands the box over, says “I hope you have a really wonderful night, honey. You have a lovely smile.”

And then he just left and I crawled up to my room and just ate that entire goddamn pizza by myself and cried a lot.

Tip your pizza guys well. Because that dude legit made me feel not quite so hopeless. I salute every customer service worker that recognizes the utter despair in some of their customers and tries to make them feel even a little bit better.

Yall this morning in up with ear plugs in my ears and I hear screams and oh my gods so I take my ear plugs out to see where it’s coming from and I look out my window and a man is laying next to my lab screaming so I thoughts lab but him and run and get my dad (hell yea I’m scary) we go out there and the man just talking to the trees talking about these dreams he been having saying we in the last days it ain’t got to happen like this all this crazy shit just laying in dog shit and all he can barely get up and then this lady try to act like she not looking but of course she is and I ask her does she know him she calls his name he jumps up saying I’m sorry im sorry and he runs from my maltipoo lol it scared the shit out of me man