Kindergarden: I really like this boy named James and I wanted to marry that boy so I forced my way on to his sleeping cot and spooned him.
5th grade: A boy was wanking and I asked what he was doing and he told me to look. I did. I will never unsee that.
5th grade: A guy that I liked (he was super cute) sat next to me in the computer lab. We were talking and he made me laugh. I farted. Then he asked, “What was that?” I smiled awkwardly and replied, “I have no idea.”
6th grade: I needed to pee and there were too many girls in the girls bathroom. So I went to the boys bathroom. There were boys in there.
7th grade: I really liked one of my best friends (he’s still my best friend and we’re both Junoirs now) and he dated one of our mutal friends and I cried in front of him and she told him to give me a kiss. So he did. On my cheek. How cute.
8th grade: I liked this one fucking douche bag (he’s really awful) and becuase I liked him so much I did everything he asked of me. Need a piece of paper? Sure here. Want me to refill your water bottle? No problem. One day I gave him a pencil he needed but he wouldn’t give it back. I persisted asking him for it and then he broke it in half. I cried.
9th grade: I was just awkward and nerdy and unliked.
10th grade: Same but now I had a boyfriend (cobalt-blue-hue)
11th grade: NOW I hang out with a bunch of nerdy guys and “popular” guys and they are all attractive (including my boyfriend) and I’m the most clumsiest piece of shit and its so embarrassing.