As a person that suffers with depression and anxiety ( my anxiety makes me depressed more then that makes me anxious so it’s a vicious circle )
I try hard to keep my mind busy like making videos or editing etc, but the fact is I don’t sleep at night, when I do it’s around 2-3am when I fall asleep. I can go days with having 2-4 hours sleep each night and still not able to fall asleep early, I don’t take my meds often as they make the voices and hallicinations happen more than without,

Don’t get me wrong I’m fun to be around and I crack some good jokes every once in a while but I’m still depressed and today I’m having one of those down days, the collage I am at seems terrible compared to others, I’ve been treated poorly and it led to me getting very pissed off at a teacher (not showing it apart from being cocky) and that drained me. From that moment I went downhill today, felt like shit, lugged myself around and just gave up on everything within today, it even took allot out of me to move to upload videos. I didn’t even feel like recording today,

Going to a collage that means I have to wake up at 5:30-6am every day and travel for 2 and a half hours there and the same back isn’t too great. I’m given homework I’m unable to do as Thursday and Friday I sleep constantly to recover my sleep and Saturday and Sunday I normally record ( you know because it’s kinda my fucking job to make videos ) and edit and eat and socialize with my fucking family!!

If I did my homework, every bit of it I’d be not recovering from 3 days of deprived sleep and I wouldn’t be socializing with family (family is fucking important) well the good ones, and making YouTube videos is my passion. Sure I don’t have to do it but it’s basically my job. My assent grows daily!!! If I just stop it will take a while to get the reach up again!!!

Don’t get me wrong I don’t mind homework but can’t you give it me to do when I’m in class and waiting for 30 mins to a hour because I’ve finished ahead because the work is so easy!!!

You. Are. Fucking. Making. A. Depressed. Person. Feel. Suicidal. Again. Collage.