Hey there.. Haha.
There are so many words I have for you. I feel the need to tell you how truly amazing you and there are things I want to confess. I’m not sure where to start so I’ll let the pen guide me.
You are truly the best man alive and I wish your father could have seen who you became. I wish I could have seen who you became and I bless my life everyday that we were able to get to this point again. I don’t think I let myself realize how badly I missed you until I saw you again.
We have another ball coming up and this time that aching empty feeling in my stomach won’t be there. Instead we’ll have a tiny baby bump that will be with us. I can’t wait to dance with you and flaunt off the baby to everyone here. I’m not worried on how people will react. Cosmo told me once that our relationship is between us. If we are happy, our true friends should be happy for us and I’m ready to scream this to the world.
I’m more damaged than I let off but I think you know it and I’m sure you will know it more when I move in with you whether your house wins or not. For once I kind of hope Wallkill loses so that I can move in. Don’t get too cocky, I’m still not sure on marriage.
Maybe I should tell you why marriage scares me. I’m obviously not good at it and all I’ve known is how my parents were and it’s pretty bad. I am worried on the kind of mother I’ll be too. What if I’m just as bad as a mother like I was a wife? Ugh, I know. How dare I say that?
You have been the only one to completely believe in me and your love gives me confidence. Your love was the reason I didn’t completely cave into my father’s demands. You are my strength. And I can only wish that I am yours.
I can’t imagine my life without you. I don’t even want to. I had to live without you for a while and I think my life would be worse if you never found me. You literally found me when no one else was looking and I can’t even begin to tell you how amazing that feels.
There is also one thing I want to tell you that I’ve been to scared to say out loud and I’ll give you this when I know it’s the right time to but here it is.
Yes, I would love to be your wife.. again.