This is a story about a girl who grew up being diagnosed with depression at an early age. Who grew up faster than she should have. Whose mom was addicted to drugs for the first 12 years of her life.
Let’s call her M
Her mom got married at 17 and 9 months later M was born.
Her mom was hooked on cocaine.
When M was 18 months old, she was dropped off at her grandparents.
She only saw her mom on the weekends.
Her dad wasn’t in the picture much.
He cheated on her mom.
When her mom was growing up she got mixed into the wrong crowds. She dropped out of high school and didn’t graduate until 2007.
The first 12 years of M’s life was a big struggle.
M was diagnosed with depression at the tender age of 3. That same year her brother was born.
He was born 3 months early due to complications in the pregnancy. Drug complications.
M grew up being raised by her grandparents. They loved and nurtured her.
M grew up being best friends with her brother. They did everything together.
When M went to school she had to pretend things weren’t bad. She had to tell everyone that everything was fine.
Mother’s and Father’s Day were really hard because everyone had parents and she just had her grandparents.
When M was 8, her mom gave birth to a girl. She finally had a sister.
Things went down hill.
One weekend, M and her sibling were at her mom’s house for the weekend.
Her mom left that Friday night and didn’t return until Sunday morning.
M had to become a mother that Friday night. Her siblings needed her. Her sister wasn’t very old and her brother was 5. He was recently diagnosed with autism.
M didn’t know how to change diapers, make bottles, cook, etc.
She went hungry just so her siblings had food. She taught herself how to be a mother. She stayed strong until they were asleep. When they went to sleep, M cried and cried.
She was diagnosed with depression once again.
Growing up for M was the hardest thing she ever had to do. She had to become an adult overnight.
When M turned 12, her mom was taken to jail to serve a 6 month sentence. She absolutely hated her mom and couldn’t forgive her for the things she was put through.
When her mom returned, M became a person she never thought she’d become. Her mom tried to buy her love when all she wanted was for her mom to accept her.
M sought out acceptance from guys. She’d sneak out and meet up with them.
She felt horrible about herself.
The depression got out of control. She got close to fully get rid of her existence. She’d cut her skin, purposefully burn herself with her straightener, and cry.
When high school came around she had finally got a boyfriend. He was sexually abusive.
Her relationship with her mom got stronger everyday.
They became best friends.
M is me.
This story is indeed about me and the struggles I’ve had to endure while growing up.
I am now 20 and have become someone I never dreamt of being. I struggles hard with depression and got to the point of not wanting to be here.
I started taking on projects to help cope with my bad depression. I got into a relationship that started bringing me back to it.
I am now out of that relationship. I’m working on myself.
♡ Lexy ♡