happy-sharks

omegamorningstar asked:

Tomorrow is my 21st 21st birthday, and I ask admission to the birthday unending. I bring butter and garlic and a determination to seek what pleasure I can from the corn fields. I bring hair that is an unseemly assortment of colours for someone my age, and cake, for what are birthdays without cake?

YOU HAVE TURNED TWENTY-ONE TWENTY-ONE TIMES?  DO YOU BATHE IN THE BLOOD OF THE INNOCENT?  WOULD YOU LIKE TO?  WE HAVE A BLOOD PIT.  THE SHARK IS HAPPY TO SHARE, AS LONG AS YOU DO NOT MIND THE OCCASIONAL BRUSH OF A CLOSE, MENACING FIN.

THE CORN IS NOT A PLACE OF PLEASURE, UNLESS IT IS THE PLEASURE OF STANDING AT A SAFE DISTANCE AND NEVER, EVER GOING IN THERE.  THE CORN PLEASES ITSELF IMMENSELY.  THIS IS WHY WE DO NOT PASS ITS BORDERS, BUT LISTEN TO THE DISTANT LAUGHTER OF THE FIRST BIRTHDAY GIRL, AND CONSIDER OURSELVES FORTUNATE TO STAND OUTSIDE.

WELCOME.

HERE IS YOUR SEAT AT THE TABLE; HERE IS YOUR CONICAL HAT.  HERE IS A SMALL RAINBOW IN A POT, TO RECOLOR YOUR HAIR WHEN THE NEED ARISES.  WE CANNOT WAIT TO SEE WHAT WONDERS YOU WILL PAINT UPON YOURSELF, O LOVELIEST OF THE BLOOD-BORN.

WELCOME TO THE BIRTHDAY.  WELCOME TO THE BIRTHDAY.  WELCOME TO THE BIRTHDAY UNENDING.

What it Is! With Miles & Kenny #34: Miles Goes To Maui!

Listen as Miles goes on a Hawaiian adventure by himself to Maui where he swam in a shark infested underwater cave, went cliff diving, compared penises on a nude beach, snorkeled with sea turtles and managed to piss off a Canadian! Laugh as Miles talks about how a stale bag of Cheerios saved his life and how he had to fight a nun chuck wielding child after trying to snap a picture of a nude sun bather. Learn what name Miles gave his penis and what a-list celebrity sold him a camera! Miles then shares touching, funny and very blunt thoughts he had while adventuring alone in paradise.

Our webpage

Subscribe to our iTunes page

Like our page on Facebook

Follow us on Twitter

Follow us on Instagram

Follow us on SoundCloud

es: Site Updates | Tags: adventure, animals, awkward, Boston, comedy, comedy podcast, crimethInc, drunk, friendship, funny, happiness, Hawaii, Maui, Michael J. Fox, miles and kenny, prostitution, random humor, scuba diving, sharks, what it is, What it Is! With Miles & Kenny | Permalink