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HAPPY BIRTHDAY MICHAEL!

Holy fuck why are you 19. Seriously. You need to chill. Anyway, I just wanted to congratulate you on getting older and some more soppy shit. I love you so much and I hope that you have an amazing birthday with hella strippers and blow and good kush and alcohol and whatever you kids do nowadays. Anyway now that you’re nineteen I can’t fuck you (legally). But who’s gonna stop me right? I LOVE YOU MICHAEL.