Lost in misconception

I am awake I am not lying awake but awake it’s hard to sleep through shit you can’t immediately fix, it always fucks with me that I have to wait for the sun to peek to get going. I stayed awake looking at my husband sleep it was hard watching him sleep, being in his arms always made me feel safe, untouchable from the wrath of any danger. This time I fought the tiring feeling. I poured out some feelings to close a friend and she knew I looked overwhelmed, then again my good friends check up on me which is awesome nothing feels more comforting than a caring friend.

It’s a numbing stage, where you can’t really explain how you feel? Your kids are clueless, all you could do is explain why you look almost dead. Last thing you need is a lurk following you around just to conceive indirect comments you don’t care to hear or ask. Not one fuck is given if you like me or not. You are out of my life for a reason I deleted you unfriended you, blocked you. I don’t check your status your tweets or photos I really don’t!! Unless I follow you. Yet somehow the word gets to me as if I didn’t know your distaste and bitterness you have towards me. I added you back to my life to be a good friend and it was pointless so why waste my time fixing something that never worked from the begging. Just don’t take it out on me for other people actions if its wasn’t from me directly then please don’t pursue my attention. I have done nothing to you yet I have done nothing for you. Unlike you I am direct so this to you Crystal as far as what was said between Jose and Eddie not me through text messages are yours to view whenever you wish. I have never found your Boy friend attractive thought he was a cool artist until I got to really meet the dude and saw that he was an egoistic self absorb individual that really had some insecurities as far as his work it accomplished what he was striving for. I don’t know how it came down to this but I am glad I cleared that up with you. I would never cheat on my husband or even bother with another. Nothing I posted on Facebook was about you it was for my ex co worker and a guy named butch that goes to Otis that I would always make fun of. I deleted you because Jose was getting on my nerves and you too.
I love Monique I really felt like she was my little sister and felt bad she was always going through some tough times and she was basically family that’s seriously the person I will miss the most. Being honest with someone is better than misleading them and pretending to like them.