today is my 21st birthday. it was also supposed to be the day of my death.
when i turned 20 i told myself that if things didn’t improve by the time i was 21 then i would kill myself. things aren’t better. i had a clear plan/method i thought would work; i wrote a note.

but–though i want to do it–i also can’t do it. it would cause my family more pain than i have ever known in my whole life. i can’t stop imagining what their faces would look like when they found out. especially my mom’s. her dad died of cancer, her only brother drowned, her mom was burned alive. imagine if she had to add “daughter who killed herself” to that.

so here i am, alive, turning 21. i’ve realized that i have to fully admit to myself that suicide is not an option, that i just HAVE to live no matter how convinced i am that the world is too much for me, that i’m too weak to deal with existence. if i don’t let go of the option of death in my mind then i can never fully commit myself to getting better because i’ll be caught in this apathetic half life where i keep fantasizing about leaving instead of making myself put one foot in front of the other and continue with an agonizingly slow recovery process.

i don’t know if anyone has gone through something similar? i’m not going to commit suicide (even though i was closer than i’ve ever been). but i don’t know how to make myself commit to life. i feel so behind my peers (school, life experiences) and like it’s too late for me. any words of advice would be so appreciated, no matter how small.



Lately I’ve been trying to find pieces of clothing that I can wear with other items in my closet. This Living Doll LA jacket is the perfect blush tone, pairing nicely with pretty much anything. Been such a game changer for my spring wardrobe, as I’ve worn it multiple times in the two weeks I’ve had it. To add some edge to the look, I paired with a leopard print pencil skirt from Boohoo. Certainly have gotten more than my money’s worth out of this skirt… it was only 20 bucks!

JavaScript is currently disabled in this browser. Reactivate it to view this content. Jacket c/o of Living Doll LA. All opinions are my own.  

So Floyd wins and now yall want to talk about how he “beat women”. If he really did harm to his baby mother he would be in prison and stripped of his license to fight. Its that simple,his hands are registered as a lethal weapon. On top of that she not complaining seeing that she admitted she still getting fucked by him and she loves it. So get df out yall feelings. Im pretty sure YOU or somebody you fuck with beat on bitches too,focus on that. We all wanted him to lay off on the defensive fighting,but you knew his style and you knew how he fights his opponents. You wasted 100,thats your fault..the shit was actually free. Either way,you knew what you was getting yourself into when you started making bets and paying for PPV.

I had to add this…you Pacman fans are annoying as fuck. How you watch boxing and dont know how to add up the score or what punches count and what doesnt.

i know i just had to add 6 selfies but… holly shit! these ppl are such a flawless hot cuties that I cannot resisit. Pls feel the epicness in the last photo and call the firemen because we are hot as hell.


sank you for tagging me, I love your selfies, you little piece of cake. The ppl have to share some selfies too:












Brewer Clan Between Ancestor Day and Remembrance Day - Part 2 of 3

While Gregg and Gail are affirming their love for each other., the kids must entertain themselves. Abby entertains herself by jumping in puddles., then starts playing with a wild wolf that came into the camp, which might not be the best idea. Wild wolves can be dangerous, but this time Abby’s not hurt.

A once again pregnant Gail plays with Abby while a visiting Darin plays with Julie. But the fun doesn’t last long. Maybe it’s because she’s getting older, but this pregnancy is tougher and Gail collapses. And collapses again a while later.

Meanwhile, Gregg used some of the wood he still had to add on to the shelter he already built for his children and built another bed. Also, Ruby grows up into a toddler.

Okay, unofficial second part of  ask-dhmis-audio ‘s stream last night. I was just going to do half the page, but I had to add in my little headcannons of what happened after the stream

the signs as celebrity power couples
  • Aries:Andrew Garfield & Emma Stone
  • Taurus:Justin Timberlake & Jessica Biel
  • Gemini:Kim Kardashian & Kanye West
  • Cancer:Portia de Rossi & Ellen DeGeneres
  • Leo:Beyonce & Jay Z
  • Virgo:Barack Obama & Michelle Obama
  • Libra:David Beckham & Victoria Beckham
  • Scorpio:Angelina Jolie & Brad Pitt
  • Sagittarius:Will Smith & Jada Pinkett Smith
  • Capricorn:Prince William & Kate Middleton
  • Aquarius:Amal Clooney & George Clooney
  • Pisces:Ashton Kutcher & Mila Kunis

Ole dole doff
kinke lane koff
koffe lane binke bane
ole dole doff!

Pro tip!: when debating if you should use  the English version or the Swedish just know that while using the Swedish it lands on the one you started on. Using the English its the opposite one you started with. 

(the above only applys when you stay on beat and only have two things to chose from)

have fun cheating! 


In Jack’s 2nd part of his playthrough of “JackSepticEye’s Paradox,” he talked about his ideal setting for reading comments (roughly the 43 minute mark) or something like that. So I attempted to create what he had in mind. Hope you like it therealjacksepticeye!! :D The only thing that he mentioned that I forgot to add was the monocle oops.

Both with and without the text! :D

[DA Link]