Trever and I are no longer together. We love each other and he is my best friend. What has happened is difficult to explain in a way that makes sense, but after many late nights and difficult talks, we knew, in the deepest part of our hearts, that we are not right for each other romantically right now. We have growing to do, and people to become, and we were hindering each other’s growth and development. There were difficulties and differences in our relationship that I think prevented us from truly falling in love with each other, which is painful to admit.
In another way, I have never felt more compatible with someone, as friends and as soul mates… It just reinforces the idea that your soul mate doesn’t have to be your lover. You can share your soul with someone who makes you think, care, laugh, love, learn. And that someone doesn’t have to be your boyfriend.
This does not mean in any way that we will stop loving each other, spending time with each other, experiencing life together. He is my best friend, my other half. But for now, he can’t be my boyfriend. Maybe some day, after we have discovered the people we are meant to be, we will come together again. Maybe we’ll find someone else along the way, but I know he’ll always be there. For a while, we were moving forward side by side, arms intertwined, two parts of a whole. But we were holding each other back, no one could advance without the other. Now we’re just facing the world back to back, and I know when I need him all I have to do is reach behind me and his hand will be there.
I’m hurting still, because sometimes love isn’t enough to make something work, and the right decisions are often the hardest. But I know I’m not going through this alone. It’s just going to take some time to heal.