anonymous asked:

I looked it up and apparently a binch is a bitch around Christmas time (bitch + grinch.) it's not a useful word for daily conversation apparently, as it appears to be a season slang. thank you for your time.


anonymous asked:

Yo bro, I know this has nothing to do with anything, but you were the first person on my dash and I had to tell someone, I found a great retort to catcalling, "sorry, your dick is like the grinch's heart, 5 times to small."

oh my god thats great


I’ve never laughed so hard in my life

[Person 1: -all of those sounds that are trapped in your mind.

Grinch: (shrieks loudly)]

How The Mongler Mongled Ava’s Demon

Every fan down on Tumblr liked the comic a lot…

But the Mongler, who lived just north of the tag, did NOT!

The Mongler hated the comic! All of Ava’s Demon!

Now please don’t ask why, no one quite knows the reason.

It could be her head wasn’t screwed on quite right.

It could be, perhaps, she was just too uptight.

But I think that the most likely reason of all

May have been that her heart was two sizes too small.

Whatever the reason—because who can tell?—

She sat there at her computer, hating Michelle,

Staring in the darkness with a twisted Mongler grin

At the warm blue glow of Tumblr on the screen.

For she knew every fan in the tag there

Was busy now enjoying the art—how dare they! How dare!

“And they’re making fanart!” the Mongler says,

“They don’t even care how problematic it is!”

Then she growled, with her Mongler fingers angrily typing

“There isn’t enough whining and griping!”

For if AD updated, all the artists and fans

Would continue enjoying the comic, and that would ruin her plans!

And then! Oh, the joy! Oh, the joy!

Joy! Joy! Joy!

That’s the one thing she hated! The JOY!


Then the fans, young and old, would sit down and they’d read

And they’d read! And they’d read! And they’d READ!


They’d read the new panels, and then go back again and read!

Which was something the Mongler hated and on which wouldn’t concede!

And THEN they’d do something she liked least of all!

Every fan in the tag, the tall and the small

Would gather together without much fussing

They’d start posting opinions. And the fans would start discussing.

They’d talk. And they’d talk! And they’d TALK!


And the more the Mongler thought of all this peaceful discussion

The more the Mongler thought, “I must stop this, without repercussion!

Why for practically months I’ve put up with it now

I MUST make everyone hate Michelle! But HOW?”

Then the Mongler got an idea. An awful idea!


“I know just what to do!” the Mongler laughed in her throat.

And she made a few angry and slandering posts.

And she chuckled and clucked, “What a great Mongler maneuver!

With all of this triggering, I’ll definitely get rid of her!

All I need is someone to agree with me…” the Mongler looked around.

But, since morons are scarce, there were none to be found.

Did that stop the old Mongler? No! The Mongler simply said,

“If I can’t find an ally, I’ll make one instead!”

So she took some old socks, and some odds and ends,

And she pretended then that she had some real friends.

THEN she made a few more, and then had them all post

(so many sockpuppets—a hundred, at most)

What she says: I’m fine.

What she means: I can’t believe that back on May 14, 2015 Harry Styles wore those tiny red shorts during that dodgeball match on The Late Late Show. He was out there baring his thicc thighs for the world to see and all I could keep thinking was how I wanted to suffocate between them. That’s how I want to die. I want him to crush my skull with his thighs as I stare at his bussy. They are the red shorts of rebirth and rejuvenation. I felt my heart grow three sizes larger in that moment like the grinch. It started to rain like that scene in A Cinderella Story. The drought was over. My crops were fruitful. My children well-nourished and playing in broken water hydrants in the streets. Then, of course, in the plot twist of the century, Harry “Bambi” Styles turned out to be the best and most athletic dodgeball player out of all of Corden’s Angels. Mr “All the love” literally nailed a girl in the face with a ball. Which reminds me I want nothing more than for him to nail ME in the face with his balls. How did Harry Styles stir some weird 70s P.E. teacher kink in me? I don’t even know, but I’m waiting for him to fuck me up in the locker room later while he’s wearing his sweatbands and high socks.