gotis!

>2015
>Hideo Kojima announces he is leaving Konami after MGSV
>MGSV is released.
>Widely acclaimed
>Ending is amazing and wraps up the plot perfectly
>Maximum score in every single gaming website or magazine
>Gets all game awards ever
>GOTY
>Kojima does not show up to receive any awards
>Konami representative shows up to get the award and is booed by the audience screaming “A HIDEO KOJIMA GAME”
>Kojima vanishes completely
>2016
>Konami announces a new MGS game without Kojima on the team
>Critics are not pleased. Say it is a sacrilege to the series legacy.
>Valve announces a surprise press conference to be broadcast worldwide at Camp Nou, Barcelona
>the stadium is packed full, the entire world’s press is there
>during the conference Gabe Newell talks about the SteamOS, SteamVR and such.
>conference ends.
>lights go off
>Gaben says “I have a surprise for you”
>spotlights pointing to the ceiling
>a helicopter appears, a rope comes out of it
>Hideo Kojima goes down the rope
>Gabe Newell says “please applaud our new developer”
>the crowd goes wild
>people are crying
>people are on their knees and bowing
>Kojima goes up on stage and holds the microphone
>“I also have a surprise for you” he says
>Lights go off again

>The screen shows “Valve and Kojima Productions present”
>“A Hideo Kojima game”
>“Half Life 3”
>histerical screaming
>people are crying on the streets
>the cure for AIDS is discovered
>world peace
>2017
>Half Life 3 is released
>Acclaimed as the best game of the entire history of videogames
>creates new standards for videogames
>released on every platform existent.
>Valve buys Sony, Microsoft, Motorola, Apple and Samsung
>2018
>Valve is the biggest corporation in the world

>Gabe Newell announces another press conference

>stadium is full again
>Gaben and Kojima appear on stage, hand in hand

>everyone applauds
>then the lights go off
>the center of the stadium opens
>a huge machine appears, armed with all belic power existant in the world
>“Thanks to Mr. Newell, I could conclude my life plan, I announce to you… the metal gear”

>world domination plan
>millions of other Metal Gears appear in the world
>The era of Valve is here
>Kojima cannot be stopped
>War begins
>Humanity is extinct,

My 2013 Games of the Year: Gone Home (PC / Mac)

Gone Home tasks you with exploring your family’s residence, but it’s not the place you grew up in. They’ve since moved into a large, old house, full of dark corridors, faulty wiring, and false spaces. Following in the tradition of 90s classics Myst and Riven, the game favors environmental exploration while dispensing with any of the convoluted puzzles or fantastic plots that complicated those games. Instead, Gone Home weaves a beautiful, human story that should not be missed.

By Alex Griendling / Blog / Twitter

My 2013 Games of the Year: Papers Please (PC)

Papers Please puts you in the role of an immigration inspector at an Arstotzkan border checkpoint. The game is a brilliant bureaucracy simulator, as you are tasked with enforcing the Arstotzkan government’s reactionary rules while witnessing the impact of these rules at a very personal level. Helping someone in a dire situation that doesn’t have the proper paperwork may help you sleep at night and yield under-the-table bribes; however, doing so will result in a citation, which can mean a salary cut. Too many salary cuts will make it hard to pay the rent and feed your family, but maybe that loss can be offset by bribes? What will you do?

By Alex Griendling / Blog / Twitter