A photo taken by my good friend Chase Mcdermott this mid-afternoon up at Mt. Doug here in Victoria , B.C. The sun was shining earlier that day, but fell quickly.. Of course. AND HECK, .. WAS IT SURE NIPPY OUT!

Oh btw, I’m a pink haired freak meow. ;D

I know I need to get my shit together one of these days.. But that day.. Is probably not today. Oh is the woe I feel.

T______T

depression is such a nasty , nasty parasite. 

I have so much on my plate that I have to do.. And it’s not a bad thing.. But bogs me down on account of my horrible anxiety.

I’m letting down a sisterhood I love so dearly, I’m letting down myself, I’m letting down my potential and my souls serenity. I must open my arms wide and embrace this life whether I’m laughed at, mocked or pissed upon.. Because guess what? I really couldn’t give a fuck.. 

Welp at least that’s what I try and tell myself from time to time.. The truth? I do give a fuck.. But not in the way of I WILL pressure myself into wearing copious amounts of globbed on make-up, wear the newest and trendiest garb etc. etc. and so on. (I really could careless to ramble about all that shit people eat up like maggots) … 

But yes, I don’t care enough about myself to even try and appease others because I give a fuck what they think about me.. But I’m lazy and could care less about how I look, my health, eating habits, and the state of my home..

Even though I’m paranoid, anxious, hate people seeing how I live and always think people probably look at me like I’m some deranged pee-wee herman with some clown shit on my face. T___T

EFF. MY. LIFE.

I’m too scared of success, and succeeding to succeed.. This is bullshit.

That’s it I’m done, this ranting .. Done. DONE. DOOONNNEEEEEEE. D:<

Forever Bummed.

so it's decided.. once back..

1) start saving for new camera

2) pay off debt

3) acquire a new job

4) get extensions 

5) get a new tattoo

Shall appease myself for awhile.

Get my debt and job shit sorted out.. Get some hair, because I’m stupid and can’t grow it myself, a little treat to myself for my 20th birthday.. And then *shrugs* a goal, a goal of saving up for a new camera. /word

Oh ya, and snubbing my tattoo craving. :B

lurka lurk lurkin' ...

I think after I’ve , *cough*, I’ve finished a few olds things , welp.. projects.. I’ve started and finished my current projects being arranged, to be shot within the next coming week etc. I’m going to sit back, smile and just sigh.. Let myself breathe. I NEED to finish some substantial life tasks, goals and essentially preform some adult behavior before I lose all semblance of time and am completely FUCKED. 

Oh, procrastination .. my foe. 

1.Cat Tetreault Photography ( April 30th)

2.Steve Lukinuk Photography ft. Chrisscreama (May 6th) - Get your edits sorted from your LAST shoot with him YA GOOF. *shakeshead* 

3.Savvy Le? We shall see.

4.Gabriella , Finish this commitment!! 

5.Tobin Sagara Photography ( EEEE, PLEASE?PLEASE? HAVE TIME!!) 

O.K. , So I just thought: ....

Okie doke!! So I just thought I’d write a little blog to get some things off merr’ mind, Y’all most likely won’t read this at all and it doesn’t bother me.. Haha. But this blog may bother YOU, tiptapping all up on your news feed. D; One way to lose followers! WIN! Natttt.. T__T oh woe is me. :B really, really real. fo real. anywho… copious amounts of lists written later , my budgeting still sucks balls; my house is still a hell cave ( and not the crypt in the good way T_T ) ; i haven’t made my Q&A video I was suppose to make; AND I spent WAY TOO MUCH MONEY TODAY. (spoiled myself because I was pissed off at humanity) .. Pff, smart. -____-’ NOT! Oh well, boy friend is paying me back the money he owes me on Thursday, Shalt tie me over until next PAYDAY, wewp. 

BOUGHT: -Amber Lights ( I think it’s called ???) Eyeshadow from MAC make-up 

-3 pairs of tights from Ardenes (3/10 CANT SAY NO!!!!) 

-2 pairs of acrylic (thought they were organics Q.Q until I bought them… stupid woman shoulda told me), but one was free.. Buy two thangs get two free sooo„ couldnt say no. XD :P LOL.

Yea that’s it… But it DRAINED my bank account, still have some credit .. welp CREDIT. :P HAHAHA. Annndddd, going to do that 20$ make-up challenge soon. May milk it this time ‘round or just have to wait for my next paycheck. *tapsnose* humana.

ANYWHO, started filling out my Timmies application!! YAY. Hoping to drop it off within the next two weeks and get roped on for graveyards. ^ ^ If I can get FULL-TIME I will be a laughing happy little squirrel. :B 

WISH ME LUCK!!! Xx

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