a poem to my non existent lover:

i want do it in the bed 

i might even give you head

i want to do it all night long 

i want you feeling strong 

i want your kisses 

i want you 

you &  i 

going all night long 

i just woke up from the strangest nap dream. i was masturbating and oh it was so intense in that dream i think i almost came in real life i was tripping balls man that shit was too real. also i was watching rocky horror picture show in that dream

Happy Fucking April Fools Day :

I was feeling fine; I had just began to tolerate myself image again. 

My brothers were joking around saying ah its april fools day wonder what shit will go down. I proceded to say “Believe nothing and trust no one. lol” 

The youngest one said yea lets prank her, referring to m.

Then my oldest brother said, to me, you know you are beautiful? 

They both then proceded to start laughing. WTF? 

Seriously I know they were, hopefully, joking but what the fuck? 

Now I just feel like crying, because I have always felt ugly, and no one has ever proven to me other wise. Now all those thought and self loathing are coming back. I hate this feeling. I dislike the way I look. I dislike humanity a little more each day. 

I’m gonna go cry myself to sleep now, nothing new though.