Men always say that as the defining compliment, don’t they? She’s a cool girl. Being the Cool Girl means I am a hot, brilliant, funny woman who adores football, poker, dirty jokes, and burping, who plays video games, drinks cheap beer, loves threesomes and anal sex, and jams hot dogs and hamburgers into her mouth like she’s hosting the world’s biggest culinary gang bang while somehow maintaining a size 2, because Cool Girls are above all hot. Hot and understanding. Cool Girls never get angry; they only smile in a chagrined, loving manner and let their men do whatever they want. Go ahead, shit on me, I don’t mind, I’m the Cool Girl.


Men actually think this girl exists. Maybe they’re fooled because so many women are willing to pretend to be this girl. For a long time Cool Girl offended me. I used to see men – friends, coworkers, strangers – giddy over these awful pretender women, and I’d want to sit these men down and calmly say: You are not dating a woman, you are dating a woman who has watched too many movies written by socially awkward men who’d like to believe that this kind of woman exists and might kiss them. I’d want to grab the poor guy by his lapels or messenger bag and say: The bitch doesn’t really love chili dogs that much – no one loves chili dogs that much! And the Cool Girls are even more pathetic: They’re not even pretending to be the woman they want to be, they’re pretending to be the woman a man wants them to be. Oh, and if you’re not a Cool Girl, I beg you not to believe that your man doesn’t want the Cool Girl. It may be a slightly different version – maybe he’s a vegetarian, so Cool Girl loves seitan and is great with dogs; or maybe he’s a hipster artist, so Cool Girl is a tattooed, bespectacled nerd who loves comics. There are variations to the window dressing, but believe me, he wants Cool Girl, who is basically the girl who likes every fucking thing he likes and doesn’t ever complain. (How do you know you’re not Cool Girl? Because he says things like: “I like strong women.” If he says that to you, he will at some point fuck someone else. Because “I like strong women” is code for “I hate strong women.”)

—  Gone Girl, Gillian Flynn
My Top 10 Most Anticipated Films of The Fall

Both awards season and the holiday season are just around the corner, which means lots of great movies. These are my top 10 most anticipated films of the fall. 

10. Whiplash (Oct 10)

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Making a big splash at Sundance and Cannes, Whiplash is an intense drama about an aspiring jazz musician (Miles Teller) and his furiously abusive mentor (J.K. Simmons). Many consider the performances of Teller and Simmons the best of their careers.

9. Nightcrawler (Oct 31)

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Following last year’s Prisoners and last spring’s Enemy, Jake Gyllenhaal continues his streak of dark thrillers. This time, he stars as a young man eager to break into crime journalism in LA by any means necessary (and I mean anything…). Many consider that this is Gyllenhaal’s best work in years. 

8. Big Hero 6 (Nov 7)

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Disney Animation has been on a hot streak with Tangled, Wreck-It Ralph, and Frozen. Next up, they’re turning to Marvel in the comic-book adaptation of Big Hero 6. which follows a group of young heroes to come together to save their town of San Fransokyo. The previews have been fun and hysterical and hopefully the movie will be the same. 

7. The Interview (Dec 25)

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Certainly the most promising comedy of the season comes from the masterminds behind This is The End. The Interview is political satire about fictional journalists played by James Franco and Seth Rogen who are given the task by the CIA to kill North Korean dictator Kim Jong-un. If this movie sparks World War III, it better be good! 

6. Gone Girl (Oct 3)

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This marks director David Fincher’s first film since The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo. Based on the novel of the same name, Gone Girl is a mystery thriller about a man whose wife goes missing on the night of their anniversary, which makes himself the prime suspect in potential foul play. Ben Affleck and Rosamund Pike lead in a wide-range cast that includes Neil Patrick Harris, Casey Wilson, and Tyler Perry. 

5. Into The Woods (Dec 25)

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Meryl Streep, Johnny Depp, Emily Blunt, Chris Pine, and Anna Kendrick, star in the Disney adaptation of Stephen Sondheim’s classic musical Into The Woods, where iconic fairytale characters collide while trying to make their own wishes come true. As amazing as it looks, let’s hope the film stays true to the musical’s wonderful sense of humor. 

4. Foxcatcher (Nov 14)

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After being delayed a year, the highly anticipated Foxcatcher includes game-changing performances from the usually humorous Steve Carell and the usually heart-throbbing Channing Tatum. Carrell is unrecognizable as a sponsor of an Olympic wrestler in this dramatic sports thriller. I bet the wait will be worth it. 

3. Big Eyes (Dec 25)

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Despite his recent disappointments, Tim Burton remains as one of my favorite directors. His latest film, Big Eyes, has no big budget and no Johnny Depp, which could mark a turnaround in his career. The film is based on the real-life story of the artist behind the “Big Eye” paintings and how her husband steals credit for her work. Perhaps this is the Oscar-winning performance from Amy Adams we’ve all been waiting for.  

2. Interstellar (Nov 7)

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Christopher Nolan is back in the director’s chair in the highly-anticipated sci-fi adventure Interstellar. Oscar-winner Matthew McConaughey stars as a farmer-turned-astronaut who leads a group to find salvation in other galaxies to find a new home for mankind. In typical Nolan fashion, much of the plot is being kept under wraps, which makes us even more anxious. The all-star cast also includes Anne Hathaway, Casey Affleck, Jessica Chastain, Topher Grace, Wes Bently, David Oyelowo, Ellen Burstyn, John Lithgow, and of course, Michael Caine. 

1. Birdman (Oct 17)

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All of the previews have blown me away and perhaps it’s the Batman nostalgia that has me hooked. Michael Keaton makes a comeback as a a washed-up actor who’s also making a comeback in Birdman. I’ve been hearing nothing but incredible things about this film and don’t be surprise if this film swoops in at the Oscars to save the day. The cast includes Emma Stone, Edward Norton, Naomi Watts, Amy Ryan, and Zach Galifianakis. 

I waited patiently - years - for the pendulum to swing the other way, for men to start reading Jane Austen, learn how to knit, pretend to love cosmos, organize scrapbook parties, and make out with each other while we leer. And then we’d say, Yeah, he’s a Cool Guy.
—  Gillian Flynn, Gone Girl
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