Today in Middle-Earth: Frodo,Sam and Gollum come to the end of the Marshes. (March 2nd, 3019 T.A).

 At last Sam could bear it no longer. ‘What’s all this, Gollum?’ he said in a whisper.’These lights? They’re all round us now. Are we trapped? Who are they?’ 

   Gollum looked up. A dark water was before him, and he was crawling on the ground, this way and that, doubtful of the way. ‘Yes, they are all round us,’ he whispered. ‘The tricksy lights. Candles of corpses, yes, yes. Don’t you heed them! Don’t look! Don’t follow them! Where’s the master?’ 


Smeagol goes up to the counter and - 

No, no we mustn’t go, precious.

We’ll just order a chai latte, that certainly can’t do any harm.

No, precious, no, they takes it from us.

Our money? Yeah, of course, this is a business.

They takes it from us and they puts it in their boxes.

No, no, but we want our coffee!

Gollum, Gollum, Gollum.

They sells us the coffee, Gollum. They sells it in bagginses.

No, no, no, precious, not the bagginses.

Give us three chances to order our coffee, master. Then we’ll give it to you.

We’re going to kill him, precious. He has his green apron and he wants it. He wants to take it from us.

No, no, no, Gollum, he’ll give us the coffee, we don’t need it.

Yes, precious, yes.

Please, master, please give us the precious.

Gollum hurls himself into the espresso machine. The shop grows quiet. Is that the sound of an eagle overhead? It must just be the wind.

A plump little fellow walks up to the counter. The barista looks down at him.

“Well, I’m back,” he says.