going-to-start-doing-things-for-myself

More of my armless lizard Basilisk child. I did the thing that rebornica did with all their Dreamscape Characters, because I thoguht it was cool and I’m completely unoriginal in every way plz murder me.

But yeah I was going to have this boy have something to do with venom but when I saw Darren was poison I started to think about it more. And If  was being honest with myself  Lucan is more acid than he is poison, so I swapped him from poison to acid.

Btw that basilisk in back is TOTALLY based off the one in Harry Potter, like I am completely unoriginal but it just looks SO GOOD.

anonymous asked:

I think my body is an abomination, I have the face of a troll and I have fat, ugly man hands. If you met me you wouldn't think I felt this way. Im getting tired of this battle and I want better for myself but I don't know where to start.

Hey Anon,

I don’t like to make assumptions but I’m going to go ahead and say that if I met you I wouldn’t think that you were any of those things. I’ll paste some links bellow that are some really great places to start. One good thing to do is start thinking positively about others - compliment your friends and strangers about their clothes or makeup or shoes or whatever. You’ll be amazed at how much that can affect how you feel about yourself as well.

There are also a lot of body positive space popping up all over the place from here on Tumblr, to Instagram, to blogs, to gyms and school, etc. Find some of them around you and surround yourself with positivity. 

~Christa

anonymous asked:

I know you mention anxiety sometimes - does that affect you going out a lot? Just curious how you cope with that and how you finally got in a good place despite anxiety... Sincerely, Anxious Follower

Hi! I’m sorry to hear you are having problems. :(   Anxiety sucks.

I have been on Prozac for about a year & that has helped more than I could ever express in words. I just had my dose increased last week because I was starting to hear the “anxiety voice” in my head again, the part of my brain that says mean things about myself or tells me I can’t do stuff, etc. Overall though, that’s completely gone with Prozac…I’m still more anxious than the average person, but I am able to function pretty well on a day to day basis.

I have a tendency to get really antsy about sex, like, to the point that I vomit. It’s almost impossible for me to make eye contact with anyone, even people I’m very comfortable around. I blush HORRIBLY if anyone is talking about me at all, whether it’s positive or negative. I’m not able to eat around people if they make a big deal about it. I frequently end up in situations where I walk really long distances because I am too anxious to call someone to ask for a ride or call a taxi, or I’ll park really far away because I get scared at the idea of having to parallel park or figure out a parking meter I’ve never used before.

Buuuuut I don’t have it nearly as bad as some people. I can use a telephone without problems, I can go shopping alone (though I still get panicky in some places, especially Walmart, & I prefer to go with someone else), etc.

For me, the thing that has helped the most (besides Prozac) was figuring out what situations trigger my anxiety so that I can avoid them, if possible, or at least combat them before the anxiety starts.  My anxiety was REALLY REALLY bad when I was at college, but that’s because nearly all of my classmates were upper class very pretty white girls & hardly any of them had jobs, whereas I was working full time while in school & came from a lower middle class family. I feel much, much less anxious in more diverse crowds with different ages, sexes, & races, because I don’t automatically compare myself to everyone in the room, I am more likely to distinguish between individuals if there is visible diversity. Obviously I realize that all the upper class very pretty white girls in my classes were not interchangeable & they were all diverse in their own ways, but it was still my tendency, as stupid as this sounds, to put us all in a “white girl category” & judge myself against them, & I felt inferior in every single way possible, I felt like I was the only person not like them & it was really obvious—my clothes were from thrift stores, I was the only person that had to schedule project meetings around my job, I didn’t wear makeup, etc. I wasn’t able to just not go to class, but it helped so much to recognize why I was feeling the way that I was & try to have the non-anxious part of my brain attack the anxious part with logic.

I feel like that made very little sense, I’m sorry! I’m not very good at verbalizing anything about my anxiety & I know that a lot of times it doesn’t make much sense—I have no problem whatsoever meeting someone in person after I’ve talked to them on Tumblr, but the idea of striking up a conversation with someone in class or at a party makes me feel violently ill. Most of my anxiety centers around being judged or feeling guilty & I try really hard to diagnose why I’m feeling a certain way when I feel that way, because a lot of the time I realize how silly it is when I realize it & then I just kinda magically don’t feel that way any more.

—Lisa

Jack Frost - Tokyo Ghoul AU

So when Kaneki’s hair turned white it immediately reminded me of Jack, and I’ve seen some fan art already of Jack as a ghoul, so I felt inspired to make something myself. :D 

It started out as a comic but it felt like it was going to take way too much time and I thought maybe an animation would be a better option? I mean yes, this probably took more time than a comic would have but when you’re animating you don’t really notice the time.

So yeah, this is what I’ve ended up with! I haven’t animated in a while so I’d forgotten how to do a few things but I got the hang of it eventually and I managed to finish it. ^_^

(Also I’m sorry the gif is so grainy, I’m not sure why they keep exporting like that. -_-)

A few months ago, I decided to try a new tactic for dealing with my anxiety and depression. Whenever I felt myself starting to go down, I would make myself a cup of tea. This would force me to get up and do something other than fixate on how worked up or miserable I was, and the tea provided its own warming comfort.

The good news is that I have had fantastic success with this, and it has disrupted several panic and depressive episodes.

The bad news is that I have now conditioned myself to crave tea whenever I am stressed or upset.

Today, I have cried more than I have cried in a while. I’ve been drinking, sobbing, dozing off, avoiding everyone, hiding my phone from myself, wondering why I always let things get this bad, and manage to somehow make matters worse. My eyes are burning and I feel a bit nauseous. I’ve been a mess. But then I finally realized, none of this is worth it. I’ve let myself become everything I vowed to never be. I haven’t been myself at all over the past few months. But it’s time I pick myself up, dust myself off, and move on with my life. I’m done being a pathetic crybaby. It’s time I go back to doing what I love and start enjoying life. I used to play piano all the time, and I loved playing guitar and singing when no one was around. I want to continue these things and maybe one day live my dreams of being an artist. Fuck whoever has a problem with me. I need to learn to stop caring so much about stupid shit that doesn’t even matter. This thing that happened today really opened my eyes. I’m hurt, yes. SO hurt. But you know what? Pain is good. It teaches you things. And this thing isn’t worth it at all. I need to learn to let go. Maybe I am overly emotional, maybe I do freak out too much, maybe I do get too attached and clingy. But I’m building my walls back up and this time they’re going to be bigger and stronger than ever.

So for SOME FUCKING REASON I woke up at like 9:40 today so instead of just doing nothing I:

  • Went to the bank and got laundry money (I had to go to two different banks, do not ask why)
  • Went out to lunch
  • Went to Target to get various sundry things (including goggles so I can finally start swimming and Beetlejuice and Space Jam (shut up) on DVD)
  • Went to Lane Bryant and bought a couple of filmy flowy dresses because I have found myself wanting to wear filmy flowy dresses
  • Renewed my registration oN TIME

Busy busy day.

the point of my 365 posts is for me to keep track of myself. if you have a problem with them, feel free to unfollow me. my blog will not be suited for you. this is a personal blog and i will continue to post what I want on MY blog.

i started to do these 365 posts to keep track of mainly my depression and see how it progresses throughout the year. it was supposed to be getting better & i was supposed to have been recovered by now, but things haven’t been going well lately and I don’t have any idea about how the next 9 months will be.

anyways, please unfollow me if you have a problem with them. i don’t want you to be so negative towards the posts that I make on MY blog. thank you.

[17's Diary - Seokmin] 2015/03/15 Today is Solo Day!!!

Today is Seventeen ‘free man’ Seokmin’s solo day! 
Like what I just said, I decided to spend the day (for/by) myself. So I went to watch movie, eat, and I did all things that I’ve been wanting to do. First of all, in the morning I ate chicken with Woozi hyung (chicken taste better in the morning!!) At 2PM, I went out alone. I didn’t went out just to set the tone! 
Anyway, I went to watch a movie alone. I have an hour left until the movie start, I was wondering what I’m going to do next; and I saw someone promoting a pet cafe next to the cinema. I really like dogs, and I’ve been wanting to go, so I went right away!ㅋㅋ I went to the cafe alone, I fed the dogs, and trained them too!!! Hoot~~ next time I shall adopt a pet!! ㅎㅎ 
I exit the cafe and went to watch the movie. Indeed, when I’m watching the movie alone; reminds me of the members. After I watched the movie, I met S.Coups hyung and Junghan hyung on the street! Indeed, is it fate…?
It hasn’t been long since we parted, but it feels like I’m meeting them after a long time?ㅋㅋ I felt glad when I met them. Although I decided that it’s my solo day, I need to spend some time together with the members! I ate ice cream with hyungs, when we were having a chat hyungs asked me to go to noraebang (karaoke). I have recording tomorrow so I need to take care of my throat so I left the hyungs. Um.ㅋ after we parted, I feel hungry and I want to eat meat. So I went to eat meat!! Since I was alone, I hesitated a little but when I went to the restautant, made order, grill the meat and eat it, it’s doableㅋ 
I spent a fruitful day, I went back to the dorm and I brag to the hyungs that I went to eat meal alone and they said it’s their first time hearing a kid went to eat meal alone and they also said I should’ve told them if I want to eat meatㅋㅋ the members even told it to the managers. They said ‘Seokmin went to eat meat alone!’….ㅎㅎ and after that when they saw me they said “You should’ve tell!!”. Seems like they pity meㅋ 
Whatever people say, I think today was a fine day! It was Seokmin’s solo day~

With enough ambition to change the world, I am a giving soul. I am not afraid. Names John Julian Eckert. Nice to meet all of you. #invisiblesource #invisible #followback  ‏@_followback__10 16 Oct 12 #teamfollowback ☑ #siguemeytesigo ☑ #1000aDay ☑ #iFollowAll ☑ #instantFollow ☑ #autofollow ☑ #UniaoDoTwitterSegueEuSigoDeVolta : )

Http://invisiblesource.com

 

Use it to help your business grow . 
its my program. 
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Why are Tumblers all afraid to talk to each other? Like, don’t be intimidated by that nerd you nerd. “They’re just as afraid of you as you are them”. You’re interested in the same things, you have everything to talk about. If you were waiting for a sign, this is your sign. Go make your move.

Couldn’t sleep but finally managed to draw something.

Almost fell off my chair laughing at most of the quotes in his IMDB-page. Not many were mood-appropriate, and somehow that made me happy.

tlr fans who have yet to guess a single thing right

Hello! It’s me, the Doctor!

In the flesh!

Well- well… the typeface, actually. Funny how that works — interacting in an online social platform is sort of like interacting font to font… typeface-to-typeface rather than face-to-face… 

Anyhoo!

It’s recently come to my attention that you- you people, you humans, and probably potentially non-humans (I can’t very well keep track of all of your identities!), have been forgetting just how important you are. 

And now I’m sure some of you are thinking, as you glance over this, “Oh, it’s the Doctor, he can’t be talking about me, I’m not important at all, he must be talking about somebody else.” Except- I’m not! I know exactly who I’m talking about, and what I’m talking about— I’m the Doctor; it’s what I do

You know, in between all the rambling about and problem-solving of things I don’t know about but that- that is not the point.

The point is, I do know people. 1200 years on, you do manage to pick up a thing or two or twelve. You learn what’s universal, and what’s specific to individuals. And so I’m here to tell you the universal truth that everybody seems to think is individualistic: you are important. Your emotions matter. Your achievements, no matter how big or small, are magnificent. Even your failures! Failures are essential, you know, in learning to do better. Celebrate them, learn from them, master them!

But most importantly of all, stop thinking that what you feel isn’t worth consideration. I know, you live in a society that’s still learning and growing about a lot of things, and people can be cruel about so many things that, for many people, countless people, are a part of their everyday struggle. You get upset, and the odds are somebody will be there to tell you that you’re just ‘overreacting’, or blowing something out of proportion.

Well, bull on them, frankly. Because, you know, you are allowed to be upset, and to show that you’re upset. You’re allowed to be angry, and frustrated, and stressed. You’re allowed to be happy, or scared, or excited, or anxious, or however the hell you feel. 

And, you know what else? You don’t have to validate your reasons for feeling that way to anybody. Because they’re your emotions, not theirs, and if you’re feeling it, then it’s valid. People will challenge it, and try to tell you you’re wrong, but you are really, really not.

The thing with the people of your planet, and countless other burgeoning societies in the universe, is that you forget that emotions are good. That without the negative, you wouldn’t have as much a recognition for the positive. 

Without sadness and tears, what would happiness and laughter mean to you? It would just be a- thing. A thingy thing that happens, but that you don’t really appreciate. That without fear, you wouldn’t be able to encourage bravery (aha- haha! Haaa… encourage) in yourself, and in others.

So the next time somebody tells you that you’re overreacting, or that you shouldn’t take things so seriously, you just give them a look— like this one, here, perhaps-

-and walk away. Because you’re reacting in just the right way for you, and that is fine. You may react differently to certain things than other people, but that doesn’t make your reaction wrong and theirs right, or even vice-versa. It’s just you, and you being you. 

Your importance is staggering. Being yourself and reacting in your own way is momentous. Because nobody in this universe is quite like you, and that?— that is something to be valued.

Carry on, Tumblr. And care for yourselves along the way.

Love from,
The Doctor

4

aside from that question being mine, I actually laughed so hard at Andrew’s face. (x)

things I want to do this summer:

1. Sleep out under the stars. No tent, just a big blanket and lots of pillows and me and the sky.

2. Start a garden, one inside with cacti and succulents and one outside with every pretty flower I see on a trip to the nursery. Make sure they get lots of water and the right amount of sun, and do the same for myself.

3. Take a walk or go for a run everyday. If it’s raining I’ll do yoga in the sun porch. Take the time to appreciate nature. Take out my headphones once in a while so I can hear the birds. Don’t swat the bees, let them be. Watch the squirrels chase each other and stop and stare at dusk when the deer cross the road in that delicate way they do.

4. Read lots and lots and lots of books. At least one a week. I want to know the ladies at the library on a first-name basis by the time school starts again.

5. Give back. Volunteer when I can, walk some dogs, do whatever I can to help others feel better.

6. Take the time to stay in touch with my friends. Maybe write them little notes every week or so to see how they’re doing, to see what they’re up to. We talk here and there but I lose touch with a lot of them over the summer.

7. Go to the art store and buy some watercolor paints and break out my old sketchbook and let my mind go wild, let my creative side take over.

8. Take a road trip with the windows down. Pack five of us into a car, make a playlist with all of our favorite songs, and hit the open road. Stop every time we get hungry, or when we spot a roadside stand. Don’t go to chains, go someplace new and make some memories. Take lots of pictures. College will be here before we know it.

9. Go downtown at least twice a month. Go out to eat with friends, go to that little shop I love, the one with the beautiful exposed brick and the creaky wood floors. Go see a black-and-white movie when they show them in the park. Grab some of that yummy Italian soda from the cafe since I never drink pop otherwise.

10. Be happy. Remove the stress from my life, whether that be fears about the future or a person who is bringing me down or a grudge I’m holding. Let it all go and enjoy myself. Soak up the sunshine, let the freckles out, let my hair down. Just live.

—  I want to discover myself this summer
I cried.
I cried, thinking about
things that could have been
things that should have been

telling myself

I should have tried harder
I should have laughed longer
but instead
I only cried louder.
—  I never knew how to let go.