When you are out for a Christmas lash:
1.) Don’t hit on straight girls/ boys who know how much of a nerd you are. You will end up going home alone with a bacon sandwich.
2.) Don’t fall down the stairs at the club despite your great balance due to wearing wedges instead of heels. It. Really. Fucking. Hurts.
3.) Do not assume that you will get interest from worthwhile people whilst dressed entirely in sequins.
4.) Invest in some some fleece-lined tights!! Seriously, best thing I ever bought- I wasn’t even that cold despite the sub-zero temperatures. Thank god some shops are catering for those of us who want to wear slutty short clothes in the middle of December.
I am drunk and have eaten too much junk food, I am off to bed. You are all beautiful and lovely my a mhuirnín