A story Part 4- Contacts.
for the next week she proceeded in a somewhat baffled state and she did not understand what he had meant the week before by his words. snippets of their conversation lead one way:
" you make me feel something when i look at you"
" i wasnt greasing you off, i was staring at you"
but everyhting was vague and she was careful not to jump to conclusions.
Friday came again and as she entered the class room, she did not know how to act and so she decided to pretend not to see him, to ignore him so that no awkwardness would occur.
she found her seat and began on some more methods papers, the final exams were less than a month away now and every moment counted. as she made her way through the papers, she somehow felt this guilt creep up inside her as she had like to so many people before, pushed him away.
you see, she was afraid to trust for when she did her trust was ultimately violated, she had been betrayed so many times- this made her stronger but not stupid and so she vowed to vigorously test anyone who ever accomplished the act of getting close to her before she would trust them. but she had already engaged in shutting him out.
as the class went on, the guilt grew and seeing that this was their last class together, she planned to go up to him and appologize and offer her friendship to this stranger, this stranger who, like so many other strangers, trusted her.
the class ended and she felt her heart rate rise, she was not sure how to approach him. she gathered what was left of her energy after such a long day and walked over to his desk. her head held high and her expression purposely kind.
she looked at him, a kindly smile in her eyes ( she smiled with her eyes more than her mouth but only somebody who was close to her and paid attention would notice that ) and said the most awkward words that had ever left her lips:
"we need to talk"
immediately she noticed the way that she sounded and regretted saying it. however, he musnt have noticed because he suggested that they talk outside away from the eyes of their weekly classmates.
she generally just appologised for ever being mean or hurtful and thanked him and then extended her friendship for him to accept. he replied in a manner that was somewhat surprising thanking her back and reassuring her that she had been nothing but kind to him.
then, it seemed to take alot of effort, he asked:
"is it okay if i give you my e mail address?"
a little amused by his question and the way it was posed, she laughed and allowed him to do so.
he brought out a pen and paper and gave her his e mail address and number and invited her to a birthday party that was being held after year twelve.
she was not sure if she would use his contact details but now she had them and she sensed that this made him happy. she was not sure how she felt though but the thought of bringing joy to another and the initiation of a friendship was satisfactory for her.
and with that she proceeded to her next class-
to be continued…..