can we take a moment to appreciate tho how these lines by Peeta were so perfectly delivered:


'If it weren't for the baby.”

"No one really needs me."


I know exactly what you’re thinking. You think you feel guilty, but it’s not that. There’s no such thing as guilty. There’s just the fear of getting caught. It’s the first day after, so that fear is still fresh. Your brain’s all sick and twisted up. You’re paranoid everyone knows, you fucked up, you’re going to lose everything. You want to throw up but there’s nothing in your stomach. You’re not going to sleep tonight. You’ll hit the bottle, you’ll watch some TV, looking for any news that they’re on to you but there won’t be any. Tomorrow morning, you’re going to wake up and it’s going to be the same world. Nothing has changed. And that fear will start to creep away, and after a few days you’re going to realize no one knows shit. That this whole bloody thing that’s amounted to you as some kind of importance has somehow slipped beneath the notice of the world. And then you’ll be a new man.
—  Phatology
A story Part 4- Contacts.

for the next week she proceeded in a somewhat baffled state and she did not understand what he had meant the week before by his words. snippets of their conversation lead one way:

" you make me feel something when i look at you"

" i wasnt greasing you off, i was staring at you"

but everyhting was vague and she was careful not to jump to conclusions.

Friday came again and as she entered the class room, she did not know how to act and so she decided to pretend not to see him, to ignore him so that no awkwardness would occur.

she found her seat and began on some more methods papers, the final exams were less than a month away now and every moment counted. as she made her way through the papers, she somehow felt this guilt creep up inside her as she had like to so many people before, pushed him away.

you see, she was afraid to trust for when she did her trust was ultimately violated, she had been betrayed so many times- this made her stronger but not stupid and so she vowed to vigorously test anyone who ever accomplished the act of getting close to her before she would trust them. but she had already engaged in shutting him out.

as the class went on, the guilt grew and seeing that this was their last class together, she planned to go up to him and appologize and offer her friendship to this stranger, this stranger who, like so many other strangers, trusted her.

the class ended and she felt her heart rate rise, she was not sure how to approach him. she gathered what was left of her energy after such a long day and walked over to his desk. her head held high and her expression purposely kind.

she looked at him, a kindly smile in her eyes ( she smiled with her eyes more than her mouth but only somebody who was close to her and paid attention would notice that ) and said the most awkward words that had ever left her lips:

"we need to talk"

immediately she noticed the way that she sounded and regretted saying it. however, he musnt have noticed because he suggested that they talk outside away from the eyes of their weekly classmates.

she generally just appologised for ever being mean or hurtful and thanked him and then extended her friendship for him to accept. he replied in a manner that was somewhat surprising thanking her back and reassuring her that she had been nothing but kind to him. 

then, it seemed to take alot of effort, he asked:

"is it okay if i give you my e mail address?"

a little amused by his question and the way it was posed, she laughed and allowed him to do so. 

he brought out a pen and paper and gave her his e mail address and number and invited her to a birthday party that was being held after year twelve.

she was not sure if she would use his contact details but now she had them and she sensed that this made him happy. she was not sure how she felt though but the thought of bringing joy to another and the initiation of a friendship was satisfactory for her. 

and with that she proceeded to her next class- 

to be continued…..

Just letting things out

while me and my friends were out to watch a movie my friend Celina borrowed my phone and she texted the guy I really like since I was really confused and crying at this point. She asked ‘You do know that she likes you right? Do you like her like she likes you? I just wanna know where she stands’ and he said ‘I like her that’s why I’m giving her chocolates but i’m also confused sometimes she’s sometimes sad and i don’t know what to say. i’m just sad that she’s sad’ and now he thinks that Celina still has my phone. I mean, I’m glad that he cares but  but if he knows that I lied to him and that I have it than he probably would know that I know what he said. But when we were I asked what celina and him were talking about he just wouldn’t answer…. I can’t stand feeling really guilty about lying to him :/.

anonymous said:

Ghost from the monster ask

A can of worms, my friend. I regret not saying certain things in my relationship that should’ve been known. Nothing huge, just little things that might have gotten lost along the way. I regret not studying for a profitable major.

That’s all quite current, but other than that, I really don’t think a lot of my regrets are my fault. This is coming from a very self giult-tripping person too.

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