plz read this i am stressed
So today I was eating lunch at Wag (our dining hall) with Lyndsay, J, Jon, Ian, and Kyle, and we were all pleasant and enjoying ourselves and Ian asked me about John D. (the guy Ive been on/off talking to for a year now, who I have a huge crush on but idk if he likes me. Actually I know he does but we are the same, like awk about each other idk why. I think bc we both have huge crushes on each other and don’t know how to handle it.) And all of a sudden guess who walks by the walkway next to us was John himself and I was like “Holy fuck there he is.” and my face immediately gets red and shit. So I kinda want him to see me but I wanna pretend that I don’t see him because I’m freaked out at this point and on the verge of having an anxiety attack. He walked by me three different times. So I’m just sitting being made fun of my my friends about him and Lyndsay said she saw him look right at me the last time he walked by while he was walking back to his table and his entire group of friends is staring at him and he smiled and shook his head and they all gave him a disapproving look and then I left bc you could cut the tension with a damn butter knife and i bet even the people who have never seen either of us a day in our lives could feel the damn tension. Why does he do this to me? Why do i have a shit ton of game but it all goes straight out the window as soon as he appears? It’s not fair because he’s the one that i wanna be with and I’m 98% sure he feels the same way.