17weeks2days or four (4) months old today!

…and he has less hair than he did when he was born.  the sides are really thinning out, leaving the top patch and a trail the whole way down the back of his head quite thick.  it’s becoming the perfect mohawk, actually.  except that it’s pretty thin and getting long.  in fact, the tuft of hair at the nape of his neck is over three inches long already.  it’s like he’s simultaneously growing a rat tail, too.  good grief.

but our darling honey badger doesn’t seem to give a sh%t.  he’s happy as can be these days.  as long as he’s standing or sitting up so that he can see everything going on around him, he’s investigating and smiling.  he even seems happier on his tummy, boosting himself up with his scrawny little arms.  he can push himself up into quite a pose, too. no hint of crawling yet…  knees are not at all part of the equation.  

the drool is never-ending.  i carry him around with a rag in my hand, attempting to wipe his mouth when the drips are threatening to land on the hardwoods.  often he grabs the rag himself and stuffs it in his mouth.  i think it must feel good to bite on something soft.  amber necklaces are on order. i’m hoping he isn’t just about to cut a tooth, but who knows?  stay tuned…

it has gotten really hot here in nashville.  i mean, HOT.  it hasn’t been this hot here in 100-years.  so, it was the perfect time for the outdoor pools to open.  THANK GOODNESS!  and the best news of all is that giacomo seems to really enjoy taking a cool dip into a busy pool on occasion!  he has been to two YMCA pools and has seemed to enjoy both experiences.  his little swim diaper is ridiculous, but it does the trick, apparently.  [i’ve been searching for a swim diaper for his little size, and there are very few to choose from.  i found the silly plaid one online, so unfortunately he wasn’t able to try it on before we bought it.  it is “ill fitting” to say the least.  hopefully, he’ll be able to wear at least one of his other pairs of swim trunks this summer.]

i’m also in the process of revamping the blog.  i’m interested in adding a few features and use it as more of a creative vehicle for myself.  there are so many different “themes” to choose from — i’m getting clearer about what i want, but i’m not 100% yet.  so, don’t be shocked if you find your way to our page one day and it looks dramatically different. it will still be us!

also, a little tidbit for those of you with an iPhone/iPad/iPod touch — if you’d like to add our web site icon to your home screen (for easy reading!), simply pull up our site on your device, look to the bottom of the screen and find the box with an arrow icon.  tap it and choose “add to home screen” and viola!  our lovely photo will be added to your grid of icons on your device.  

so, this week was a big one in the world of sports: ryder hesjedal (garmin/barracuda) won the 2012 giro d’italia, making him the first canadian to ever win a grand tour; and dario franchitti (aka. ashley judd’s husband) won his third (3rd) indy 500.  congratulations to two very fast boys!

xo

baby led weaning/feeding = fail?

yeah, i’m going to go ahead and add buy jarred baby food to the list of things i said “i’ll never do.

before giacomo was born, and way before i did much investigation into baby food options, i was downright giddy about the idea of making my own baby food.  i wanted giacomo to be strictly breast fed, and then once he was ready for food, i wanted him to have only the healthiest food possible, for as long as possible.  i figure, once he’s old enough to make his own decisions about what he puts in his body, the entire process will be out of my control, so as long as the decisions are still mine, i’m going to take the opportunity to choose the healthiest selections possible.  suffice it to say, i had decided that jarred baby food wasn’t going to make the cut. nope. not for my baby

but that was before i discovered - realistically - how confusing motherhood can actually be, because after all, there are another little person’s opinions to consider…

so, the story goes, that after doing a little more research, i decided i would go the baby led weaning/feeding route.  and sure enough, my repeated attempts have essentially gone nowhere

you see, not surprisingly, little giacomo decided to challenge my preconceived ideas about his nutritional future, and let me know, pretty clearly, that he isn’t interested in having any of those sticks of wholesome, organic foods to gnaw on.  nope.  no thanks.  oh sure, he was vaguely entertained by them for a few weeks, and bravely explored sweet potatos, bananas, green peppers and carrots. but recently he’s pretty much been snubbing all solids. go figure. the little guy humbles me again — and reminds me that despite my best intentions, i’m going to have to let go of my attempts to be some sort of “super health-nut mom” and just do the best that i can.  imagine that.

so, i took my confused and befuddled-self to the grocery store and decided that maybe, just maybe, it would be okay if giacomo tried a few jars of puree, just in order to figure out whether that route was an option, and if so, what flavors he might like, before i started making larger quantities of the stuff — or whether he’s just not ready for solids, despite his eager attempt to participate at the dinner table.

i found these teeny-tiny little 2.5oz jars labeled “stage 1” at the grocery store, sucked up my pride, and brought them home for him to try.  sure enough, he seems to actually enjoy them.  

he seems to like the actual interaction of being fed, as well as handling the spoon himself. but, perhaps most importantly, he seems to enjoy eating the puree itself.  this morning i even fed him some of my blueberry/apple/ginger juice with a spoon and he thought it was pretty great, too.  

of course he only eats a few bites before he fills up his little tummy, and we only go through the mealtime process with him once a day at dinnertime, so it may take a week to finish one of these little jars.  so it seems, for now anyway, puree is the way we’re going to go. «<gasp»>

yes, it’s true.  while breast milk is still his primary source of nutrition, pureed prunes, carrots, sweet potatoes, pears and peas will be making their appearances at our dinner table for the next few weeks… meanwhile, i will be thanking our son, for once again reminding me that i’m just a beginner at all of this and there’s still plenty for me to learn about being the best mother i can be — for him.

he’s such a cute teacher…

xo 

this kid is one month away from his 2nd birthday. i can hardly believe it. but, really i can. so much has changed, even in the last month. he’s a total “kid” right now, and it’s so much fun to watch him develop and evolve.

some current noteworthy items:

*he is sporting no fewer than three injuries on his face

*i’m trying to teach him manners. so far, he covers his mouth when he coughs, says “please” when he asks for something (mostly when prompted) & “tee too” (thank you) when he receives it

*the world is his gymnasium - there is nothing he won’t climb on or jump off

*he still naps in the car - everyday - for about three hours. i’m not complaining.

*he selects his pajamas (shirt/pants) every night

*enjoys bubbles in his bath

*is obsessed with pete the cat & wakes every-single-day saying “white shoes!”

*calls all gentlemen over 60 “papa”

*favorite toy = play doh

*favorite food = curry cashews

i have to say, in all honesty, this is REALLY getting fun now.

…and it just keeps getting better.

xo

the ONEderful birthday

what a lovely day.

many of giacomo’s friends were able to come over to play with him for a little bit to celebrate his birthday — and he seemed genuinely happy about it!

of course he decided there would be no napping, but regardless, he was all smiles and cheer.

my favorite part of the party was when we all sang “happy birthday” to him — he was all “me? you’re all singing for ME? this is AWESOME!” and grinning from ear to ear in his high chair.

he wanted to keep everyone’s attention, so he figured he might show everyone how he can walk. so, then he did. about a dozen times. it was absolutely thrilling for me every single time.

my goodness, it is such a joy being this little boy’s mommy.

xo

christmas card FAIL

i thought it was a cute idea, but giacomo was terrified of the twinkly lights, willie nelson photobombed almost every shot, the camera took too long to focus in the dark, husband got irritated quickly…  

we’ll just have to think of something else.

xo

back to our nashville rhythm

we returned home to nashville yesterday, after a lovely holiday weekend in amelia island with giacomo’s grandparents.  the weather was perfect.  the pace was perfect.  the pina colada was perfect… even the long drive was lovely.  

so, now it’s time to get back into our nashville rhythm, which i’m slowly realizing, i have really come to enjoy.

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my adorable little “smarty pants” is already twelve weeks old! = il mio adorabile piccolo giacomo è di dodici settimane di vita! 

this kid is smart.  he is constantly observing his surroundings - while he’s on the bed, in the moby wrap, at mommy & me yoga - everywhere but in his car seat.  when he’s in the car seat his eyes are closed and he’s screaming to be taken out and held…  (when does this car seat issue end? someone please tell me!)

we’ve continued to have some, how shall i say, issues, with “boys night”, on wednesday evenings, when i take a few hours to myself for an adult yoga class and daddy hangs out with giacomo.  apparently, giacomo hasn’t been the cooperative little guy we’d hoped he’d be while i’m away… he’s still pretty attached to me.  instead, he pretty much melts down with no solace and no reprieve in sight until i arrive home and hold him.  in all fairness, we haven’t given him a bottle at all (i haven’t pumped either) because we haven’t really needed to (i’m only out of the house for two hours or so for the yoga class.), nor have i really wanted to. i’ve been really enjoying the intimacy of breast feeding and i don’t really want it to end or to be compromised in any way. so, wednesday night yoga may be on hold for a little while longer.  at least until we negotiate the bottles - if we (i) choose to do so.  i’m not even certain that hunger is the issue.  right now it feels more like panic and confusion for him…  it’s really just heartbreaking.

on another, perhaps similar note, this week giacomo and i reached a new level.  a deeper connection, if you will.  this week was a turning point in that i really feel like i suddenly understand him.  i understand what he needs and i understand what he wants.  i can almost see it in his eyes and in his body language.  i may have had some guesses before, but this week was a new awakening for me… it just feels like a “knowing” and it’s really rewarding.

he holds onto me more often these days and with more conviction.  with his little fists. it’s beginning to feel more “clingy” more “needy” and it holds more passion - and that’s okay.  most of the time. 

i can clearly remember friends and books, and heck, anyone who noticed i was pregnant, assuring me that there was no preparation for motherhood.  nothing i could do, or read, or hear that would compare to the actual experience of living it.  and now i understand.  it is wonderful.  it is beautiful.  it is exhausting and some days i don’t even know who i am anymore.  motherhood has changed me, who i am, to my core.

it’s kind of frightening. it sometimes feels like i woke up in a new, larger, more awkward body, with entirely new goals, new priorities, new expectations - and i did. that really happened.  and though i understand (now more than ever) that change is the only constant, this new person in my life is absolute — and permanent.  and for the foreseeable future, which in my case is just one moment, but let’s say for the sake of this conversation for the next year - this little guy is going to require my assistance.  with everything.

i am obligated.  i’ve never really been obligated to do anything in my life before this beautiful baby arrived… and it is such a big change. and sometimes it feels, well, overwhelming.

and to add to the “overwhelmed-ness”, motherhood has also offered me a heightened experience of “powerlessness” and “lack of control”.  i mean, seriously — i can schedule my day to include laundry, dinner and a walk around the neighborhood, and if i’m only able to manage to brush my teeth i will still consider it a victory.  my pace has become giacomo’s pace, and some days that means we don’t really get anywhere very far or very fast.  like, not even out of bed much less out of the house.  

yet, despite all the chaos and confusion, this is all so intensely precious.  a very real reminder that i have everything i need and so does giacomo, right here, in this moment, if i’m just able to sloooooowwww down and breathe it all in.  let go of expectations and preconceived ideas of how it’s all going to be. 

so, that’s my new practice.  one of my spiritual teachers, tara brach calls it “radical acceptance” and i believe i’ll have a slice for dessert, thankyouverymuch.

thank you giacomo.  thank you, thank you, thank you… what an unbelievable blessing it is to be your mother.

this week in pop culture: america’s teenager, dick clark passed away at the age of 82, tupac shakur performed (a la hologram) at coachella, pippa middleton’s trip to france for her friend’s birthday party resulted in a (fake) gun being pulled on the paparazzi, ted nugent reinforced that he’s a total asshole by going bear hunting in the first place, but then also deciding that he’s above alaska’s hunting laws, and finally, a his-and-hers group (including two titans players) from lil’ ol’ nashville have filed a class action suit against the bachelor and the bachelorette for refusing to introduce people of color to the series.

stay tuned, y’all.  this job is gettin’ good!

xo

(photo taken with instagram)

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he’s learning SO FAST these days!

i began signing “blueberry” to him a few weeks ago when they were his favorite thing to eat. he hasn’t eaten any in a few weeks. out of nowhere one day he just decided he wouldn’t touch them. so, tonight, suddenly he loves them again.

so, at the beginning of the meal i start signing “more” and “blueberry” (every time he asks for more. and by the end of the meal this is what we get.

i mean, really!

i’m so impressed… xo

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