I read a sign on the train saying ” 155 people five people got struck by a train in 2012, 44 were killed , don’t become a statistic. ” i wonder how many of them were the ones thinking the same thing i am right now, that just one step and its over.
“She’s perfect , that’s the problem, she’s perfect and I see me spending the rest of my life with her and I’ve never felt that way or told that to anybody before.shes perfect and I’m leaving to the navy.”
The first picture shows November 2011 to June 2012.
The second one is one i took a few minutes ago in my stage of “recovery” at 118lbs.
I Went from 138 to 121 on the Abc diet when i relapsed November of last year, I also got extremely sick and made a condition of mines worse because of it. i was in and out the hospital a lot during that time and my body rejected certain medicines. You don’t want to have to deal with this. the counting, the calories,the relapses , the purging, the starving,how it becomes a part of your life. the need to lose more and more & the wanting to die when you gain a pound. how hard it is to get overcome it. i went a year and a half without purging till i caved in and i got so much worse. the lowest i ever was July 2010 when i was 87 pounds,stomach caving in, hip bones sticking out and despite being below weight with my 4’11 height i still felt horrible so i continued till the night my heart almost gave out and i was sent to an inpatient center. You can only control it to a certain point till it controls you and its scary. I’ve seen so many girls, I know so many girls going through what i did and still am because recovery? let me tell you, its hell and a part of me hates myself more for even attempting to not lose anymore weight. I was 13 When I was diagnosed with a eating disorder. I’m 18 now. 5 years. Its not easy, Its not worth it.
Please whoever you are, you don’t want this.
None of this. You’re beautiful, Please don’t do this to yourself.
& for anyone trying to recover, I wish you the best, stay strong.