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Ulf Dageby - Gallret

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Possibly the best song in the world.

Jag sitter på golvet med båda balkongdörrarna öppna med en filt runt om mig och fryser. Men det gör inget. Jag tycker om kyla och på något sätt ger den en domnande känsla.

Har pratat med terapeuter det senaste året om hur jag känner mig instängd i detta jävla rummet. Och nu mer än någonsin känner jag det. Jag känner hur gallret för min franska balkong är fängelsegaller. Det håller mig tillbaka. Tänk bara om det var öppet, då skulle jag kunna rulla ut och vara fri till slut.
Men det gör jag inte för då skulle jag förstöra grannens bil som står nedanför.

Jag får nöja mig med att koncentrera mig hårt på vad som finns utanför. Har inga linser i så hela scenen är ur fokus. Gatlampor lyser extra och allt annat är mest blurrigt. Misstänker att de enstaka människor som går förbi utanför tittar på mig och undrar men kan inte se deras ansikten.

Jag vill skrika åt dem
- Kom och ta mig härifrån!

Get to know me. Yes? no? ¿maybe?

I was really bored. Anybody reading it all deserves a cookie.

1. Who was the last person you held hands with?

I have no idea. Have I ever held anybody’s hand?


2. Are you outgoing or shy?

None.


3. Who are you looking forward to seeing?

My best friend Maria in a few weeks.


4. Are you easy to get along with?

Yes.


5. If you were drunk would the person you like take care of you?

Definitely.


6. What kind of people are you attracted to?

Hispanic and latinos


7. Do you think you’ll be in a relationship two months from now?

Hahahahahaha </3


8. Who from the opposite gender is on your mind?

Can’t say.


9. Does talking about sex make you uncomfortable?

No


10. Who was the last person you had a deep conversation with?

A friend of a friend at a party a while back, a really nice girl.


11. What does the most recent text that you sent say?

Can’t be bothered looking


12. What are your 5 favorite songs right now?

Annie Leibovitz (Timbuktu), If there is something (Roxy Music), Come on up to the house (Tom Waits), The Reaper (Blue Oyster cult), I wish I knew how it would feel to be free (Nina Simone)


13. Do you like it when people play with your hair?

Yes


14. Do you believe in luck and miracles?

No. Or maybe? Need a definition.


15. What good thing happened this summer?

Everything and nothing


16. Would you kiss the last person you kissed again?

NO


17. Do you think there is life on other planets?

Off course.


18. Do you still talk to your first crush?

No


19. Do you like bubble baths?

Yes, I was thinking about having a bath earlier today


20. Do you like your neighbors?

Some of them


21. What are your bad habits?

I wanna kill myself all the time


22. Where would you like to travel?

South America, also southeast asia.


23. Do you have trust issues?

Yes


24. Favorite part of your daily routine?

Plugging my head phones in and listening to my music on the loudest volume


25. What part of your body are you most uncomfortable with?

Everything


26. What do you do when you wake up?

Get dressed


27. Do you wish your skin was lighter or darker?

I wouldn’t mind to be slightly darker skinned


28. Who are you most comfortable around?

My best friend Maria


29. Have any of your ex’s told you they regret breaking up?

I don’t have any ex’s


30. Do you ever want to get married?

Depends


31. If your hair long enough for a pony tail?

Yes


32. Which celebrities would you have a threesome with?

Orlando Bloom and Viggo Mortensen


33. Spell your name with your chin.

No


34. Do you play sports? What sports?

No, my work gets me my exercise


35. Would you rather live without TV or music?

Tv obviously


36. Have you ever liked someone and never told them?

That’s my whole life in one sentence


37. What do you say during awkward silences?

Nothing, I love awkward silence and seeing the other person suffer through it.


38. Describe your dream girl/guy?

Benicio Del Toro


39. What are your favorite stores to shop in?

Don’t care, anything cheap


40. What do you want to do after high school?

I’m already graduated, and I don’t want to do anything.


41. Do you believe everyone deserves a second chance?

Definitely.


42. If your being extremely quiet what does it mean?

What?


43. Do you smile at strangers?

Yes.


44. Trip to outer space or bottom of the ocean?

Bottom of the ocean.


45. What makes you get out of bed in the morning?

Not getting fired from work?


46. What are you paranoid about?

Everything there is to be paranoid about. I hate life.


47. Have you ever been high?

Yes


48. Have you ever been drunk?

Yes


49. Have you done anything recently that you hope nobody finds out about?

Every day I keep secrets with myself.


50. What was the colour of the last hoodie you wore?

Black


51. Ever wished you were someone else?

Probably every day


52. One thing you wish you could change about yourself?

My mood swings makes me wanna kill myself too often.


53. Favourite makeup brand?

Don’t care


54. Favourite store?

Ica


55. Favourite blog?

http://neymarporn.tumblr.com/


56. Favourite colour?

orange


57. Favourite food? 

Salmon burrito and sushi


58. Last thing you ate?

Honey melon


59. First thing you ate this morning?

Pancakes at work


60. Ever won a competition? For what?

Yes, one was in 8th grade and we had to do a sketch of an original idea we had about something in science class and I was one of few winners in all of Sweden.


61. Been suspended/expelled? For what?

No


62. Been arrested? For what?

No


63. Ever been in love? 

No


64. Tell us the story of your first kiss?

I was gonna give a ugly guy a kiss on the cheek if he did something, I don’t remember what it was, and he did and I was gonna give him the kiss when he turned his head and we kissed on the lips. Also, he tried to stick his tongue in. very romantic…


65. Are you hungry right now?

No.


66. Do you like your tumblr friends more than your real friends?

I don’t have tumblr friends


67. Facebook or Twitter?

none


68. Twitter or Tumblr?

tumblr


69. Are you watching tv right now?

No


70. Names of your bestfriends? 

Maria, Amanda, Frida, Emilia


71. Craving something? What?

Nothing right now. Maybe a cigarette


72. What colour are your towels?

Blue right now


72. How many pillows do you sleep with?

Three


73. Do you sleep with stuffed animals?

No


74. How many stuffed animals do you think you have?

No bitch


75. Favourite animal?

Dogs


76. What colour is your underwear?

Black


77. Chocolate or Vanilla?

Chocolate Jesus Christ.


78. Favourite ice cream flavour?

bluberry


79. What colour shirt are you wearing?

Grey


80. What colour pants?

I’m not wearing pants


81. Favourite tv show?

Too many


82. Favourite movie?

The Fountain


83. Mean Girls or Mean Girls 2?

Didn’t even know there was a sequel


84. Mean Girls or 21 Jump Street?

Mean Girls


85. Favourite character from Mean Girls?

Damian.


86. Favourite character from Finding Nemo?

I don’t fucking know..


87. First person you talked to today?

Co-worker


88. Last person you talked to today?

My mom a second ago


89. Name a person you hate?

I can’t even spell his ugly name


90. Name a person you love?

My niece, Signe.


91. Is there anyone you want to punch in the face right now?

I would love to punch so many people right now.


92. In a fight with someone?

What?


93. How many sweatpants do you have?

One pair yo


94. How many sweaters/hoodies do you have?

A few


95. Last movie you watched?

LOTR on tv yesterday


96. Favourite actress?

Paz de la Huerta


97. Favourite actor?

Benicio Del Toro


98. Do you tan a lot?

Not until recently, I think I might become a tanorexic.


99. Have any pets?

Dog


100. How are you feeling?

Honestly, I’m having a really emotional day.


101. Do you type fast?

I guess.


102. Do you regret anything from your past?

Everything, yet nothing.


103. Can you spell well?

 No, I probably know English better then my mother language Swedish though.


104. Do you miss anyone from your past?

No


105. Ever been to a bonfire party?

Yes


106. Ever broken someone’s heart?

Yes


107. Have you ever been on a horse?

Fuck no


108. What should you be doing?

Looking for jobs


109. Is something irritating you right now?

Yes, too much.


110. Have you ever liked someone so much it hurt?

Currently happening. :)


111. Do you have trust issues?

Im pretty sure this was a question already?


112. Who was the last person you cried in front of?

Hm.. Maybe Maria?


113. What was your childhood nickname?

Lelle by everyone and my family still calls me Nea.


114. Have you ever been out of your province/state?

Yes bro


115. Do you play the Wii?

No


116. Are you listening to music right now?

Yes


117. Do you like chicken noodle soup?

I don’t eat chicken, so no.


118. Do you like Chinese food?

Not that much.


119. Favourite book?

I don’t read much but I liked the bible.


120. Are you afraid of the dark?

No, maybe sometimes.


121. Are you mean?

No


122. Is cheating ever okay?

No


123. Can you keep white shoes clean?

No


124. Do you believe in love at first sight?

Yes


125. Do you believe in true love?

Yes?


126. Are you currently bored?

Yes


127. What makes you happy?

My niece.


128. Would you change your name?

No.


129. What your zodiac sign?

Typical Libra.


130. Do you like subway?

Yes


131. Your bestfriend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do?

This happened too many fucking times, I tell them to get real.


132. Who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with?

I swear I’ve already answered this?


133. Favourite lyrics right now?

Chandelier - Sia


134. Can you count to one million?

Wtf?


135. Dumbest lie you ever told?

When I was a kid, apparently I told people my grandma died in a car crash.. Also I told everybody we had had like shit loads of cats. No one in my family has every barley touched a cat in their life.


136. Do you sleep with your doors open or closed?

Closed.


137. How tall are you?

175 cm but people wouldn’t know ‘cause I’ve got the worst posture ever.


138. Curly or Straight hair?

Both


139. Brunette or Blonde?

Both


140. Summer or Winter?

Summer


141. Night or Day?

Night


142. Favourite month?

July but also October.


143. Are you a vegetarian?

Pescetarian.


144. Dark, milk or white chocolate?

Milk chocolate


145. Tea or Coffee?

Tea


146. Was today a good day?

No noo :(


147. Mars or Snickers?

Mars


148. What’s your favourite quote?

I don’t really have one but I used to have this quote by John Locke with me everywhere. “-No mans knowledge here can go beyond his experience.”


149. Do you believe in ghosts?

No


150. Get the closest book next to you, open it to page 42, what’s the first line on that page?

There’s literally no book around me. 

it just hit me that the reason i’ve been feeling nonhuman lately, could be cause of those glow sticks i ate two years ago. i knew the numbing feeling in my toung was a bad sign.

there’s this big car meet in my city where people from all over the world come to look at old american cars and get drunk, and i’ve seen a couple of good looking men with james dean hair and cigarettes in their mouths.

i have no friends but i might just go there anyway. 

went to a baby shower, got drunk after ten minutes and went to a nearby playground to talk to my friend on the phone when a guy literally comes stumbling out of the bushes catching his breath and starts vomiting. i thought it was a guy who was trippin bad so i headed to him and asked if he was okay when i see it’s a kid all covered in blood. he had been fighting with an older guy that had been texting his girlfriend. i did my best not to laugh and took the karma opportunity and ran to get some tissues and water for the poor guy.

OMG! I just remebered! Last night I had to leave a party cause my heart was being an idiot and I was  walking behind two guys as I was walking to the spot where my dad was gonna pick me up. They didn’t know I was there behind them as one of them said “man, I really wanna take a dump right now” and he looked behind for people, but didn’t see me as I was sneaking myself up on his left side and said “Ha-ha I heard that!” He was like “oh shit, omg I was looking behind me that no girls were around” and I was like “but there was!” and he was like “yeah heh heh..”. And then we keept walking the same road for a few meters wihout saying a word, and just before parting I said “hey, we all gotta take dumps sometimes”, and he was like “yeah”. And then we parted and his friend was so drunk he stumbled over his own feet.

 

The look on his face when he saw me hearing him though, wow, it was superb.

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