Okay I wanna say something important about abuse.
Abusers do nice things. That’s one of the reasons abuse victims doesn’t leave right away. And one thing people need to learn is that the good doesn’t outweigh the bad. Being yelled at for 20 minutes straight for forgetting to turn on the dishwasher is not outweighed by a 200 dollar birthday present. Stopping when someone says no does not outweigh guilt tripping them so much they never dare say no again.
This is something that I didn’t get when I was living as an abuse victim, both from my dad and my ex-boyfriend. They were nice, they gave me nice things, nicer than I got from anyone else, that I still get from anyone else. And it took me years before I realised that this was because they needed to overshadow all the bad they did to me and how far down they wrecked me.
So please, if you ever feel the need to say that a character who others claim is abusive isn’t because they do nice things, keep this in mind.