fyeahaspiebot

I heard a lot about this recently. It seems true for me, at least… earlier I was upset over some miniscule thing with my gf and it felt like my heart was ripping in half. I wanted to crawl under a table and never come out again, or roll around until it stopped aching.

Theory is, contrary to popular belief: AS individuals feel things so strongly they often shut down as a defense mechanism.

I have no source other than word-of-mouth from professionals I have lots of faith in. So if someone has a source I’d love to read it pf.

Now before someone jumps down my throat for this; its not that I don’t care. Its that I don’t show it, and going to a funeral would be a DISASTER.

I feel very bad for her, and for everyone who knew the deceased, and I imagine it is a terrible loss. But I’ve never been inclined to cry when someone else is, hugging people is painful, and I’m not very good at offering sympathetic words. I want to try and fix things when problems and painful emotions arise, and as I am not Jesus, I can not fix this problem so I tend to recover from it much faster.

And its hard to explain to people that you’re not a sociopath for just standing there and staring at them awkwardly while they mourn.

Thank god my girlfriend understands this. I hope everyone gets as lucky as I have.

I can’t stop being angry at myself for this one. ;;

I don’t know how to fix this one. I’ve been trying super hard not to do it, but now its just happening and I can only catch myself after I mess it up.

Most of the time it doesn’t matter, people laugh it off… but this one is particularly bad. I won’t go into it, but lets just say it has the potential to hurt someone.

I dunno… suggestions anyone?