funny-chat

  • 2:36 AMJohn Cicada: ceciloni
  • 2:36 AMJohn Cicada: it sounds like a food
  • 2:37 AM#4 side ho Derek: it sounds fuckin delicious
  • 2:38 AMTeri: A delicious macaroni salad dish
  • 2:38 AMJohn Cicada: no it sounds like cured meats
  • 2:39 AMTeri: nO IT'S MACARONI SALLY
  • 2:39 AMJohn Cicada: UR MACARONI
  • 2:39 AMTeri: THAT'S RACIST
  • 2:40 AM#4 side ho Derek: balony macaroni
  • 2:40 AMTeri: I refuse to take these slurs
  • 2:40 AMJohn Cicada: YOU ARE A PIECE OF PIZZA
  • 2:40 AMTeri: I'M GOING TO RAKE
God creating One Direction
  • God:you know how we made females bleed out their vaginas that make them strong
  • Jesus:yeah
  • God:well it didn't work
  • Jesus:what do you mean
  • Jesus:they cry and break out and gain 5 pounds once a month
  • Jesus:isn't that enough
  • God:no
  • Jesus:....
  • God:we must make them stronger
  • Jesus:but it's too late no-
  • God:no
  • God:we'll create five superior beings
  • Jesus:what is tha-
  • God:listen jesus
  • God:we'll use a whole bottle of essence of sexy on one
  • Jesus:that sounds risky don't you t-
  • God:listen
  • God:a whole bottle of adorable extract on another
  • God:half a bottle of rainbow oil and dried puppies on the third
  • God:on the fourth we'll use the last of the 'you me bed now' syrup
  • Jesus:....
  • Jesus:.... and the fifth?
  • God:sassy potion
  • Jesus:.... okay .... but how will this make them stronger?
  • God:we'll add one musical steroid to each
  • Jesus:i still don't see...
  • God:they'll be homosexual
  • Jesus:ah very clever
  • God:do you see now
  • Jesus:yes
  • Jesus:the survivors will be indestructible
  • God:i'm brilliant
Name that OUAT villain
  • Announcer:Welcome one and all to another game of "Name the OUAT Villain!" For a hundred points, which famous villain was also a horrible parent?
  • Snow:Cora!
  • Emma:Peter Pan!
  • Announcer:This villain also directly influenced their's child's descent into darkness.
  • Snow:Cora!
  • Emma:Peter Pan!
  • Announcer:Let's see if we can make this easier. This villain went off to another world and became it's ruler.
  • Snow:Cora!
  • Emma:Peter Pan!
  • Announcer:... This villain's magic was closely related to hearts.
  • Snow:Cora!
  • Emma:Peter Pan!
  • Announcer:This villain was briefly in league with Hook!
  • Snow:Cora!
  • Emma:Peter Pan!
  • Announcer:This villain impersonated Henry!
  • Snow:Cora!
  • Emma:Peter Pan!
  • Announcer:
  • Announcer:I give up.
That wasn't the right D
  • Friend:"I've gotten a D in class before."
  • Me:"From who?"
  • Friend:"Uh duh- my teacher."
  • Me:"Oh god. Should I call the cops?"
  • Friend:"No, I didn't study like I was supposed to. It's my own fault."
  • Me:"That's sick."
  • Friend:"I know, I'm stupid."
  • Me:"Did he pay you?"
  • Friend:"To take my Math test?"
  • Me:"What Math test?"
  • Friend:[silence]
  • Me:[silence]
  • Friend:"You weren't talking about a penis, were you?"