1. The French don’t “piss you off”…they “shit you off” (Faire chier quelqu’un). 2. The French don’t call you “idiotic”…they call you “as dumb as a broom” (Être con comme un balai). 3. The French don’t “blow you off”…they “give you the rake” (Se prendre un râteau). 4. The French don’t tell you that “they don’t care”…they tell you that “they care about it like they care about their very first shirt” (S’en foutre comme de sa première chemise). 5. The French don’t say “this is annoying me”…they say “I’m getting swollen by this” (Ça me gonfle). 6. The French don’t tell you to “leave them alone”…they tell you to “go and cook yourself an egg” (Aller se faire cuire un œuf). 7. The French don’t tell you that “you’re grumpy”…they tell you that “you’re farting sideways” (Avoir un pet de travers). 8. The French don’t “go crazy”…they “break a fuse” (Péter un plomb). 9. The French are not “bumbling”…they have “their two feet in the same clog” (Avoir les deux pieds dans le même sabot).