Hi. I’m Alex, a seventeen year old female to male transgender kid living in Florida. I’m in a situation I’d like to get out of.
My house isn’t very good for me. It’s a toxic environment. I have a mother who kind of accepts me for who I am, but sometimes she doesn’t. And my grandmother doesn’t accept me at all. Sometimes she calls me Alex, but most of the time she refuses. My mother often says things like “You should be lucky that I even call you Alex at all. Would you like me to not call you that? I can call you (birth name) if you want.” and “People make mistakes. You’ve got to get over it. A lot of people are going to make the same mistake, and you just have to get used to it. People are under no obligation to call you Alex or male pronouns, because that’s not what you are.” Which I think is unfair, and untrue.
Alex is my name. I am a male. Maybe not physically, but I am a male. I deserve respect. Respect is calling me by what I wish to be called. My name is Alex, I’m a boy, that’s that.
My mother is also emotionally abusive. This past month, I called a child abuse hotline to tell them my situation, and maybe get out of it. I ended up being locked up in a mental hospital for seven days, then released to my home, where my mother basically shunned me for a few days. Reason being that I was put in the facility is that my mother lied to the police and told them I was suicidal, which I wasn’t.
I was in there for seven days, as I mentioned, and throughout my time there, I was humiliated. They refused to call me Alex or male pronouns, even though I expressed to them how important it was for me. They said “Your legal name is (birth name) and your sex is a female. Until you get that changed, we’re going to call you by this.” They also were rude and told me not to talk to anybody about my gender, and to not have the other patients call me Alex. They made me sit with the girls, eat with the girls, and be a girl. They made me uncomfortable. It did more harm than good to be in there. And I didn’t even need to be in there to begin with, I just needed to be away from my mother. But that didn’t happen.
I’m not really sure what else to do at this point. The only thing I can do is save up money, buy a bus ticket, and leave to go see my fiancé. She lives in California, I live in Florida. We’ve been in a relationship for over a year, and we’ve been friends for a little over four. I’m completely welcome at her house. Her parents love me. She loves me. They all accept me over at her house. It would be the perfect place for me. I’d really like to get there somehow.
The thing is, I don’t know how. I don’t have a job. I’ve tried to get one, but I’m under age so nobody will hire me. My mother won’t supply me with any money. I don’t have any relatives that could help me, because they all hate me. I’m a high school drop out because I was bullied to the point where I wanted to kill myself. So I’m not very well educated, you could say. I plan on eventually getting my GED though.
I’m in a very tight situation. So I figured that I would ask for donations. I don’t know what else I can do at this point. I need to get out of here. It’s really taking a toll on my mental health. My mother threatens to put me back in that horrible mental facility, even though it hasn’t done any good. She threatens to do that because I “go crazy” whenever I get misgendered. Which after being called my birth name by everybody for so long even though I told them my name is Alex, of course I’m going to be upset. It’s really, really difficult for me whenever somebody calls me a girl, ma’am, she, lady, my birth name, etc. It’s hard for me to deal. It makes me depressed and often suicidal. But nobody understands that here.
Last month, I tried to kill myself. The reason being was I got tired of living how I am. I got tired of being trans. It got too much for me, and I wanted to end my life. So I tried to. But I failed and was put in a mental hospital for three days. Being a female is not who I’m supposed to be. I’m supposed to be a male.
I just need to get out of here. But I need help. If you’re willing to donate to me, I have a paypal account in which you can send money to. The email is firstname.lastname@example.org . The email and name is my mother’s, but the account is mine. Only I have access to it. My goal is $550. That’s enough to buy me a bus ticket and some food for the journey.
If you can’t help me by donating, please reblog this. That’s helping me, too, because it’s giving me exposure to potential donors. It would mean the entire world to me if you would help me. I really need to get out of here. I can’t take this anymore. So yeah, if you could help me somehow, I’d really appreciate it. All donations are welcome, whether it be 5 cents or 5 dollars. I’m very thankful for the kindness of people and their willingness to help.
Thank you again.