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Trailer: ‘Big Eyes' - Dec 25

Directed by Tim Burton, written by  Scott Alexander and Larry Karaszewski, starring Christoph Waltz, Amy Adams, Krysten Ritter, Jason Schwartzman, Danny Huston and Terrence Stamp.

This looks incredible. Also, how has Krysten Ritter not been in every Tim Burton movie?

One of the difficulties with her ‘impossible girl’ story was that she wasn’t actually a participant in it, because she didn’t actually know about the mystery … Certainly she came to life immediately as a character and as a performance with Peter [Capaldi]’s Doctor … suddenly there was a different chemistry.Peter and Jenna absolutely belong together in Doctor Who. To be absolutely honest, there’s also the problem of … you look at Matt Smith in a bow tie and you’re looking for Karen Gillan. You just are. So it was tough for Jenna.Do you remember back in the day … Sarah Jane Smith seemed like a rather dull replacement for Jo Grant, til Tom Baker’s Doctor came along? Sarah Jane was quite boring for that first year, then Tom Baker came along and – fazoom – she was brilliant. Clara has her own Doctor now, and she becomes the main character – which of course the companion always should be, really…
—  Steven Moffat addressing the criticisms of Clara Oswald (x)
Help, Menopause Ruined My RV Vacation!

Ask Amy, 13 September 2014:

Dear Amy: When we were dating, my wife was the sweetest woman in the world. She didn’t make a move without asking me. We had a few kids. She stayed home and raised them while I worked. The kids grew up and went off on their own. The wife got a part-time job to keep herself busy. Then she got promoted. Now she works full time, goes to business lunches and dinners, meetings and training sessions. She comes home, cooks and cleans. She doesn’t ask me what I’d like for dinner but makes whatever she feels like. Our plan was for me to retire when I turned 62 (she’s 57), buy an RV and travel the country. Well, we bought the RV, but she can only go on weekend trips. Vacations are saved for when the kids come home. She traded in the car I bought her to tote the kids around for a sports car that I can barely fit in. Now she’s talking about getting a smaller house because she doesn’t have time to clean “a big empty house.” I keep telling her we will have grandkids one day and she will be glad we have all the space. She’s changed so much in 37 years that I don’t even recognize her, and I’m afraid one day I will wake up to a “for sale” sign in my front yard. How do I convince her she is just going through “the change” and in a few years she will be back to normal again? — Mystified Mike

Dear Mystified Mike,

Boy howdy, the ole’ ball and chain sure has pulled a fast one on you! Time was nice ladies like ole’ wifey knew their place. (Slightly behind you but never out of sight, holding a dishrag.)

But here you are today, seeing your wife bring in an income and cook and clean your home while you pine away for an RV you can’t use unless she’s in it—I mean, it’s not like it’s going to clean itself during a trip to Flagstaff, is it?

When you married your wife, she had a lifetime obligation to stay the same person she was on your wedding day. That’s what long-term partnership is about: wives graciously taking orders from their husbands for their entire lives, until they drop dead on the ironing board. You understand this, but your wife clearly doesn’t—and for that, you can definitely blame menopause, the only possible cause of your wife’s desire to be an independent human being with her own interests.

Nothing besides a totally natural hormonal change could possibly have compelled her to seek out new occupations and hobbies after the make-up of her life shifted away from the daily tasks involved in raising your children for you—certainly not the prospect of living under the thumb of a man who takes offense to the purchase of a sports car for the rest of her god-forsaken days.

What, are you supposed to cook dinner? Mop a floor? Have an open and honest discussion with your wife about household purchases and meal planning? No man should ever deign to engage in such offensive activities with his helpmeet. Nevertheless, you may have to gently suggest to her that she’s getting a little uppity these days, and has she talked to her doctor about her bizarre and offensive interest in acting like an autonomous human?

After all, your dinner is at stake.

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HEY DONUTS! You definitely don’t want to miss this message from Rita Volk!

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Big Eyes

Christmas 2014

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