flays

If The Hobbit were an MMO
  • * Bilbo has joined the party *
  • Thorin:lol
  • Thorin:hobbit
  • Fili:xD
  • Kili:XDDDD
  • Bilbo::/
  • Gandalf:a THIEF hobbit
  • Gandalf:he'll be useful
  • Gandalf:promise.
  • Thorin:He better be. Bilbo, build?
  • Bilbo:Build what?
  • Thorin:...what's your build.
  • Bilbo:OH. Er...I don't think I have one.
  • Thorin:Stats?
  • Bilbo:Haven't assigned any.
  • Bilbo:I usually just RP in town.
  • * Bilbo has been kicked from party *
  • Gandalf:Thorin wtf
  • * Bilbo has joined the party *
  • Bilbo:@_@
  • Thorin:Is he level 20 or something whotf doesn't have a build
  • Bilbo:EXCUSE YOU. I'm level 80!
  • Thorin:What skills did you get?
  • Bilbo:I'm not telling you that, you'll just mock all of them.
  • Thorin:Gandalf I'm not bringing an untested thief along.
  • Thorin:He'll die.
  • Thorin:Several times.
  • Thorin:IDG why I even have to, we're pretty much set.
  • Gandalf:Yeah, 13 warrior-class idiots versus a level 500 dragon boss.
  • Gandalf:That'll scare him.
  • Gandalf:Look, his skillset's ideal and you have an extra party slot.
  • Gandalf:Just bring him along. What's the harm?
  • Dwalin:he's not even geared
  • Thorin:...what?
  • Dwalin:look at his armor
  • Thorin:Oh god.
  • Fili:lmao that's like starter gear
  • Kili:XDDDDDDDDD
  • Bofur:HOW ARE YOU ALIVE?!
  • ... later ...
  • * A Stone Giant damaged Bilbo for 18,028 HP *
  • Thorin:jfc
  • * Thorin applies bandages to Bilbo's wounds *
  • * Thorin applies bandages to Bilbo's wounds *
  • * Thorin applies bandages to Bilbo's wounds *
  • * Bilbo has recovered his health *
  • * Bilbo has been kicked from party *
  • Gandalf:THORIN I SWEAR TO GOD
  • * Bilbo has joined the party *
  • Gandalf:IF YOU KICK HIM ONE MORE TIME I'M LOGGING OFF
8

THIS IS A MAJESTIC TWIRL OF DEATH AND DESTRUCTION APPRECIATION POST

AND IT IS LONG OVERDUE

LOOK AT THAT MAJESTIC MOTHERFUCKER SPIN

WHAT’S THAT YOU SAY? HAIR? GETTING IN THE WAY?!

THIS SON OF A BITCH DOESN’T CARE, YO

HE GON’ FLIP THAT HAIR LIKE IT’S A MIDDLE FINGER

AND CUT UP SOME ORCS/WARGS/GOBLINS LIKE A FUCKING SHREDDER ON CRACK

WATCH THIS GLORIOUS BASTARD MOVE LIKE HE’S NOT ALMOST AS GODDAMN TINY AS A HOBBIT

HE GONNA MOW YOUR GOBLIN LAWN FOR YOU FOR FUCKING FREE

AND THEN PROBABLY SMILE LIKE HE’D JUST HAD A FUCKING ORGASM

FUCK

For numerous travelers, Naples is the darkest gem of the Old Continent, concealing in its streets countless artifacts of a macabre nature. With skulls, bones, petrified saints, and holy blood, the iconography of death seems to have spread everywhere. Moreover, Naples is paved with obscure legends. Behind every door, under each alcove, vivid tales linger on, tangling together the Italian aristocracy, exalted quests for knowledge, and, of course, cold blooded murders. Included in these is the story of the Anatomical Machines.

Located in the basement of the Sansevero Chapel in the historic district of Naples, the bodies of two people, a man and a woman, stand in an elaborate display. Their skin and their muscles are gone, leaving them open and naked. Yet they proudly present their vascular systems, their skeletons, and some of them inner organs.

It’s evident that our couple is not an object of devotion, so their dramatic internal nudity in one of the most sumptuous chapels in town is paradoxical. Who are these two people and why is their anatomy displayed in this sacred place?

For that answer and more… Morbid Monday: The Macabre Myth of Naples’ Anatomical Machines

4

Vajra Flaying Knife

  • Dated: circa 15th century
  • Culture: Tibetan
  • Medium: steel inlaid with gold and silver
  • Measurements: L. 22 11/16 in. (57.7 cm); W. 3 1/4 in. (8.3 cm)

This flaying knife (Tibetan: triguk; Sanskrit: kartrika) is styled in the Indian manner—with a long, hooked steel blade for both butchering and flaying. A vajra, symbol par excellence of Tibetan Vajrayana Buddhism, forms the handle.

The lower “thunderbolt” emblem metamorphoses into a wide-jawed sea monster (makara), from which issues the blade, finely damascened with gold and silver and displaying an interlacing floral design.

Workshops in the region of Derge, Kham Province, in eastern Tibet, excelled in such fine metalworking techniques, providing the probable source for this knife.

Source: Copyright © 2014 The Metropolitan Museum of Art